ow Page 639 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Which Porn Video Was This ESPN Recruiting Analyst Just Watching?
This here is a screenshot of a hastily deleted tweet that was sent out by ESPN college football recruiting analyst Gerry Hamilton. As you can see, Hamilton forgot to double-check exactly what link he pasted into his tweet before hitting send....
How To Survive At The Poker Table
Poker used to be cool. From Wild Bill Hickok getting shot up over aces and eights to Paul Newman and Robert Shaw eyefucking each other in The Sting, it has always held a place in American culture as the game you'd find grown-ass men playing in the smoke-filled back rooms of grown-ass places. Blame...
The Time A Jets Kicker Smacked A Ball Boy For Not Rubbing Up The Balls
Since all anyone can talk about today is the various ways in which people manipulate footballs and what dastardly cheaters the New England Patriots are, it seems like as good a time as any to remember the time a mouthy Patriots ball boy got the shit smacked out of him by an opposing kicker for not p...
Round 2 Of The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Starts NOW! Vote!
Cheese & Crackers very nearly pulled off a huge upset. The 8-seed, matched up against football snack staple Nacho Cheese Doritos, was almost left off the bracket entirely because your bracketeer thought it perhaps a touch too bougie for this exercise. Which is insane, when you consider that the sa...
Bad Seahawks Dad Ruins Baby's Birthday Song With Loud Swearing
Details here are a bit scarce, but what we appear to have is a nice mom attempting to record a birthday song with her cute baby, probably so that she can send the video to grandma and grandpa, or something. Unfortunately, the song gets ruined by Bad Seahawks Dad, who forgot to use his inside voice w...
The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs Start Now. VOTE!
The Super Bowl is a grand time for food. All those New Year's Resolutions about eating right, getting fit, and drinking less go out the window just in time for nimble fingers to set to work crafting the perfect snack stadium or dialing Dominos....
Andy Dalton, Seventh Alternate QB, Will Play In The Dumb Pro Bowl
When the NFL totaled up the votes and named six QBs to the Pro Bowl, it also drew up a list of alternates for when players inevitably bailed due to injury or just having better things to do. That list of alternates goes down a long way. Andy Dalton, basically the King Ralph of quarterbacks, is a Pro...
Don't Try To Interview DeAndre Jordan When He's Listening To Tupac
DeAndre Jordan had a pretty big game last night, scoring 19 points, grabbing 12 rebounds, and blocking six shots. His performance earned him the nod for the postgame interview, which did not go all that smoothly....
How To Meet Your Significant Other's Parents Without Terrifying Them
Of all the fraught rites of new-relationship escalation—Facebook status changes and move-ins and one of you using the toilet while the other showers and so on—none inspires more anticipatory dread than the Parent Meet. And for a whole host of legitimate reasons: the psychic weight of parental app...
ESPN Finally Corrects Story That Misquoted Doug Baldwin
Yesterday, we brought up an ESPN report by Seahawks reporter Terry Blount that profanely misquoted Seattle wide receiver Doug Baldwin. For whatever reason, Blount incorrectly inserted a few "motherfuckers" into Baldwin's postgame rant. Last night, ESPN finally got around to correcting the story, a...
Which Over-The-Hill Wrestler Looked Worst On Tonight's <i>WWE Raw</i>?
Tonight's WWE Raw has been an evening of legends, but most of those in attendance are decades past their expiration date. Which wrestler wore it worst?...
Fowler Falls For Fake Website, Makes Crazy Claims About Tennis Star
Tonight's Australian Open coverage on ESPN2 featured announcer Chris Fowler explaining to the audience that Japanese pro Kei Nishikori is, among other things, the highest-paid tennis player in the world and the owner of a restaurant chain, a soccer team, and clothing and perfume lines. None of tho...
Sad Derrick Rose Airballs An Open Goddamn Layup
Oooh, that is a slick little move, there. The ball-fake to freeze Timofey Mozgov, the little half-Eurostep toward the middle of the lane, the midair adjustment as Mozgov recovers to contest. And then, what in the damn hell. Did the Earth shift 18 inches off its normal orbital path while Rose w...
Packers Loss Sends Small Child Into Devastated Weeping Frenzy
Little man is legitimately upset here (and maybe a little sleepy), and with good reason. Green Bay's swift collapse yesterday was probably his first crushing sports loss, and he got a nice jersey on for the game and everything. His mom tries comforting him with a "we got next year," but next year ...
Woman Goes Bonkers At Opportunity To Buy Patriots "AFC Champion" Shirt
If you're like me, you assumed those "conference champion" shirts and hats exist for players and coaches to wear in the moments after cashing their ticket to the Super Bowl. It turns out people actually buy these things, and one woman is really, really excited that her local Modell's is stocking P...
Always Dress For The Occasion
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Here's Martin Luther King Jr. Telling A Joke On <i>The Tonight Show</i>
OK, it's not a good joke, but the man was busy. It was Feb. 8, 1968, and Martin Luther King Jr. and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference were in the thick of planning the Poor People's Campaign, which would culminate in a tent city going up on the Mall in Washington. It was also just two mon...
Chinese Dunk Contest Features Terrible, Hilarious Dunk
The Chinese Basketball Association had its all-star game over the weekend. I really don't understand why this guy was invited to participate in the dunk contest:...
Men Should Not Wear Jewelry
Like most other men, you might someday find yourself standing in the glow of flickering department-store lights, tempted by the prospect of wearing jewelry. "Jewelry would make me look powerful—masculine, but sensitive," you might reason, fingering an especially resplendent wallet chain. "Ryan Gos...
ESPN Writer Puts A Few "Motherfuckers" In Doug Baldwin's Mouth
Doug Baldwin's postgame rant at the media produced some great soundbites, but none quite as percussive as the ones quoted in this brief on-the-scene report from ESPN Seahawks writer Terry Blount, in which Baldwin is twice misquoted in a way that makes his outburst seem much more profane that it wa...