ow Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Coverage Of Somber Boston Marathon Tribute Marred By Photog's "Fuck!"
CNN, which can't seem to get anything right these days, ruined another bit of coverage today when what appeared to be a moment of silence during Boston's marathon bombing memorial tribute today was interrupted by what sounds like a cursing cameraman....
Don't Tell Joakim Noah It's Snowing Again
It snowed across much of the Midwest last night, including in Chicago, where reporters had to break the news to Joakim Noah just as he was enthusing over the delightful spring weather. We are all Joakim Noah....
This Oilers Fan Is Fed Up With Everything
The Oilers missed the playoffs for the eighth consecutive year. They finished dead last in the Pacific and only the Panthers and Sabres had fewer points in the entire league. This is what being a sports fan can do to a person. It can make you throw a personal item at a building. ...
This Is The Worst Baseball Column
This has to be a joke, it just has to be. Either it's a joke, or the The Batavia Daily News mistakenly published a Scott DeSmit article on sabermetrics from 2003. There can be no other explanation for this lede: "[c]omputers have ruined baseball and 'Sports Illustrated.'" ...
Russell Westbrook Slips And Falls While Blocking A Worthless Shot
Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook has two modes: "on" and "torn meniscus."...
Orioles Ball Girl Ignores Umpire, Fields Live Baseball
We understand the role of ball boys/girls when it comes to protecting bullpens from foul balls, and occasionally they make highlight plays. But they sure do screw up a bunch, and today a ball girl in Baltimore committed the ultimate sin by ignoring the third base umpire's fair signal and fielding a ...
Minnesota Students Smash Cars, Moon Cops In Post-Loss Riot
Minnesota students got rowdy when their men's hockey team won a thrilling semifinal match Thursday night, and university president Eric Kaler warned students not to repeat their stupid behavior for the Golden Gophers' final against Union. Even though Minnesota lost, Kaler's email didn't work....
Manny Pacquiao's Mom Wins WBO Welterweight Title Fight
Manny Pacquiao avenged his loss to Timothy Bradley tonight in Las Vegas, earning back the WBO welterweight belt. But the real winner of the match was Manny's mom, whose, uh, enthusiastic praying led many observers to question if she was putting a hex on Bradley....
Minnesota "Idiots" Riot Over Lost Championship, Piss Off TV Reporter
Union College defeated Minnesota for the NCAA men's hockey title tonight, and Golden Gophers fans flooded the streets of Dinkytown to fuck shit up—especially all of KMSP reporter Jonathan Choe's live shots....
How To Grill A Flank Steak, The Steak For Socialists
We are Americans (no, not you, Canadians) (OK, you too, c'mon over here ya big galoots), and we like big hunks of steak*. To be precise, we like our own big hunks of steak: We like to saunter into Bob's House of Steak all bowlegged and gimlet-eyed like John Wayne and order for ourselves some great ...
Mets Pitcher Jenrry Mejia Has Just <em>Had It</em> With This Stupid-Ass Sport
Stupid Justin Upton! Stupid glove! Stupid baseball!...
Harold Reynolds Announces Revolutionary Findings In Physics
As Yasiel Puig and Josh Hamilton recently found out, sliding into first base is a dumb idea. It is, first, a good way to get hurt, and also everyone knows that it doesn't get you to the bag any faster, because the gains you make by getting closer to the bag are canceled out by negative acceleration...
Jose Abreu And Danny Salazar Make Meaningless Game Something Special
If you're the kind of person who lacks the requisite attention span to sit through all nine innings of a baseball game, last night's game between the White Sox and Indians was perfect for you. You only needed to stick around for five innings of baseball in order to catch all of the awesomeness packe...
Yes, You Can Wash A Pillow
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check The Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her. ...
<em>The Daily Show</em> Takes Down The NCAA
With the NCAA tournament at a close, and the recent decision allowing Northwestern football players to vote on forming a union, Jon Stewart and The Daily Show decided to tackle an issue near and dear to our hearts. Never has the exploitation of teenagers been funnier. ...
Hawk Harrelson Should Probably Not Suggest "Asians" Are "Deceptive"
Chen-Chang Lee is a pitcher for the Indians. He's from Taiwan. During tonight's broadcast of Cleveland's bout in Chicago against the White Sox, horrible broadcaster Ken "Hawk" Harrelson painted Lee with some broad and ambiguously racist strokes....
Real Or Fake, Stephen Colbert's <em>Late Show</em> Is Gonna Be Awesome
Back when Stephen Colbert was on The Daily Show, he also used to do radio-ad voiceover work for extra money. I was a junior copywriter working on a shit-ass cell-phone account when our agency hired Colbert (who worked for scale at the time) to enter a recording studio and do a series of 60-second re...
Mike Francesa Could Not Give Less Of A Shit About The Ultimate Warrior
You think the Sports Pope wants to sit here and spend his day talking about professional wrestling? Get a clue. Francesa could cah less about that gahbage....