ow Page 965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Merry [Bleep]ing Christmas From Ozzie Guillen
What could be better than the quirky White Sox manager under your tree Christmas morning? This foulmouthed outtake reel, wherein Ozzie tries to sell you his nipples, or something....
Merril Hoge Will Say "Factorback" As Often As He Damn Well Pleases, OK?
Reader Andrew, tired of hearing ESPN's Merril Hoge say "factorback" as if the word actually meant something, recently decided to send the man an email through his website. Soon, Andrew got a testy reply, signed "Merril (Factorback)."...
How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....
Something Officially Went Down At Iowa
ESPN reports that two of Iowa's running backs will not play in the Insight Bowl. The Hawkeyes suspended sophomore Adam Robinson for "failing to comply with team expectations and policies," and sophomore Jewel Hampton left the team on his own volition....
This Is Terrible Sports TV Banter
Charlie Nicholas broke off from rambling on about "set PCs," and Blackpool players "Kaka" and "T.J. Campbell" to deliver a great contender for worst comeback of the century on Soccer Saturday this weekend....
Something's Going Down At Iowa
Like rats leaving a sinking ship, sports books have taken the Insight Bowl off the board. It's the surest sign that the forthcoming Iowa press release could be something significant....
Charles P. Pierce Responds To Bill Simmons's Response To Charles P. Pierce's Response To Bill Simmons's Book
First came this. Then came Simmons's tweet. And now here's Pierce: "And right back at you, you mendacious, whiny little thin-skinned bag of breeze, you. I've been thrown out of better joints than your bibliography." Yeah, Pierce wins. [Boston.com]...
Michael Vick Does Dallas
Eagles vs. Cowboys. From the Philadelphia Daily News......
Indiana Man Selling "Racist Soaps" Doesn't Have Time For "You Politically Correct People"
An Indiana shopkeeper stands accused of selling racist soaps. Gary DeWester, the merchant, says they're "nostalgic" and representative of "American history." He keeps them in his "joke drawer."...
Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Patriots at Chicago. Chiefs at Chargers. Other stuff, like Woody Paige whining about Tebow not getting a start today. Enjoy....
Reporter Gets Ron Artest Involved In A Cell Phone Marriage Proposal
This has such a Borat feel to it that I'm unsure whether "Elie Seckbach, video reporter for Fanhouse" is real. But if he is, ladyfriend probably whooped his ass for thinking it's acceptable behavior to propose via cell phone....
Hockey Fans Throw The Darndest Things Onto The Ice
After the Philadelphia Flyers got done beating up on the Toronto Maple Leafs on Thursday night, a disgruntled fan threw waffles onto the ice. This confused winger Colby Armstrong....
"Sick" Jon Heyman Impersonator Infuriates "Real" Jon Heyman With Greinke-To-Phillies Ruse
Seems as if a Philadelphia blogger started a Hot Stove frenzy last night by Tweeting that the Phillies and Royals worked out a deal for Zack Greinke while cyber-costumed as Sports Illustrated's Jon Heyman....
Did Jim Gray Really Sell His Dignity For $500K? Would You?
Interesting Tweet this week from Sports Illustrated's Richard Deitsch wondering whether Jim Gray earned a half-million dollars when LeBron James told everybody where he'd be taking his talents. For the timeline on Gray's financial stake in The Decision, check SportsByBrooks....
CBS Football Experts Were 3-61 In Pick'em Last Week
Marino. Esiason. Sharpe. Cowher. Football legends all. They managed to compile a mathematically improbable record picking games last week. I think Paul the Octopus could do better, and he's dead. [CBS Sports, h/t Nathan] UPDATE:...
Fuck You, Charlie Brown
I showed my kid the Charlie Brown Christmas special the other day and she was depressed for the rest of the week. Why are we still subjecting kids to this awful shit?...
CNN Inexplicably Airs <em>Dumb And Dumber</em> Diarrhea Scene
Right after a report on London student protests, there it was: Jeff Daniels loudly evacuating the contents of his bowels. Your move, FOX News....
30 Years Ago Tonight, Howard Cosell Told America John Lennon Had Died
John Lennon was killed while returning to his New York City apartment on December 8, 1980. That evening, as Patriots kicker John Smith jogged onto the field to attempt a fourth-quarter game-winning field goal on ABC's MNF, Howard Cosell announced the news....
Tom Verducci Did Vote For Marvin Miller, Despite What Crazy Old Coot Says On His Cryptoblog (UPDATE)
Murray Chass, senior writer for murraychass.com, recently threw heat at HOF Expansion Era committee member Tom Verducci for apparently voting against Marvin Miller. Verducci fired back, and thus the post became unique to the Chass oeuvre in that someone actually read it....
Finally, An Athlete Wears Protection In Self-Taken Bathroom Photo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....