own Page 219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Donte Whitner No Longer Changing His Name To One That's Nearly "Hitler"
The Browns' newest safety has decided against legally changing his name to Donte Hitner, and not for the obvious reason that you totally read it as something else upon first glance....
Bob Costas Abandons Broadcast Booth Mid-Inning To Pee
Bob Costas handed over play-by-play to MLB Network commentator John Smoltz in the bottom of the seventh inning tonight at Yankee Stadium, escaping the booth to hit the little boys' room....
The Fast-Food Bacon Wars: McDonald's Goes High, Burger King Goes Low
Over the past decade, the American burgersphere has been shaped by three major forces: The first and most odious is the grind-your-own contingent's constant harping about how to flip a fucking hamburger. Having declared victory in their charcoal-fueled war against convenience (gas grills are still m...
CNN Uses Charles Barkley's DUI Mugshot During Sterling Story
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Your Complete Quotable Guide To Decades Of Donald Sterling's Racism
Donald Sterling's latest act of racism is far from his first. To fully grasp how loathsome the Los Angeles Clippers owner's bigotry is and the extent to which it influences his personal and professional life, we've collected a selection of the worst statements attributed to Sterling. ...
Budweiser Black Crown Vs. Miller Fortune: A Prestige-Beer Showdown
Craft beer has become so embedded in our drinking culture that TGI Fridays sells Sierra Nevada, Lagunitas sponsors This American Life, and your dipshit coworker's last batch of homebrew was actually kinda good, in a way, if you're into chipotle märzens. ...
Awful Man Snatches Souvenir Baseball Away From Little Kid
Perhaps there will come a day when adults will stop stealing baseballs away from kids, but this is not that day. This dude right here is shameless, and has obviously never consulted this handy chart. Behavior like this is only acceptable if you are stealing a ball from this awful Australian kid....
Reporter Asks Patrick Kane "Was That Your First Overtime Game-Winner?"
Patrick Kane scored 11 minutes into tonight's overtime and helped Chicago even their series against the Blues 2-2. Afterward, a reporter asked him if it was the first time he'd ever scored a game-winning goal in overtime....
Colin Cowherd Is Never Going To Stop Talking About John Wall
WDRB's Rick Bozich wrote a column on Monday in which he recalled the time ferret-faced radio huckster Colin Cowherd went on the air and essentially called John Wall a nigger. Bozich was critical of Cowherd, which led to Cowherd going on the air today and once again fucking that chicken....
Marathon Runners Carrying Competitor Across Finish Line? Didn't Happen.
You may have heard the inspirational story yesterday about a Boston Marathon runner who collapsed just short of the finish and was unable to continue, but found himself carried across the line by four fellow runners. The story embodied a spirit of resilience and strength, and the idea of "Boston Str...
Did ESPN Suspend Darren Rovell From Using Twitter?
Serial tweeter Darren Rovell is off Twitter, at least for now. ...
Married Couple Injured In Marathon Bombing Cross Finish Line Together
Patrick Downes and Jessica Kensky were spectators last year, lined up along Boylston street to watch the marathoners finish. They were right in front of the first bomb, the blast knocking them unconscious and requiring the amputation of each's left leg below the knee. They were back at the finish li...
Ex-MLS Defender Robbie Russell Struggles Mightily During NBCSN Debut
Robbie Russell joined NBCSN's MLS coverage today and it got off to a pretty horrible start. Russell is providing color commentary for the New England Revolution-Chicago Fire match and had a couple of massive brain farts during the introductory segment. ...
Peter King Leads The League In Poor Word Choice
Oh, Peter King. This is a rough tweet. It reads like a supremely off-color Henny Youngman joke. ...
Flatizza Vs. Waffle Taco: A Fast-Food Smackdown For The Ages
Fast-food outlets are often criticized by the discount burgeratti for overstating the innovation of their "new" offerings, and for good reason. Every chain has been guilty of twisting an existing menu item two degrees toward novelty by using the same few tired tricks. Maybe they flop another protein...
Coverage Of Somber Boston Marathon Tribute Marred By Photog's "Fuck!"
CNN, which can't seem to get anything right these days, ruined another bit of coverage today when what appeared to be a moment of silence during Boston's marathon bombing memorial tribute today was interrupted by what sounds like a cursing cameraman....
This Oilers Fan Is Fed Up With Everything
The Oilers missed the playoffs for the eighth consecutive year. They finished dead last in the Pacific and only the Panthers and Sabres had fewer points in the entire league. This is what being a sports fan can do to a person. It can make you throw a personal item at a building. ...
This Is The Worst Baseball Column
This has to be a joke, it just has to be. Either it's a joke, or the The Batavia Daily News mistakenly published a Scott DeSmit article on sabermetrics from 2003. There can be no other explanation for this lede: "[c]omputers have ruined baseball and 'Sports Illustrated.'" ...
Minnesota Students Smash Cars, Moon Cops In Post-Loss Riot
Minnesota students got rowdy when their men's hockey team won a thrilling semifinal match Thursday night, and university president Eric Kaler warned students not to repeat their stupid behavior for the Golden Gophers' final against Union. Even though Minnesota lost, Kaler's email didn't work....
Minnesota "Idiots" Riot Over Lost Championship, Piss Off TV Reporter
Union College defeated Minnesota for the NCAA men's hockey title tonight, and Golden Gophers fans flooded the streets of Dinkytown to fuck shit up—especially all of KMSP reporter Jonathan Choe's live shots....