own Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There's No Fighting In A Victory Formation; Or, Why Greg Schiano Is The Worst Kind of NFL Coach

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SEC Network Sideline Reporter Takes Her Craft To A New Level By "Interviewing" A Dog (Then Kissing It)

The death sentence that is being named Uga found its newest victim this weekend as Georgia named interim English bulldog mascot Russ "officially" to the title of Uga IX....

This Is The Worst Own Goal Ever

It's from last week's Circiuma-America tilt in Brazil's second division. Circiuma keeper Michel Alves makes a pretty nifty save before getting overwhelmed by all sorts of derp. Only thing better might be the announcer's manufactured excitement....

Bengals 34, Browns 27: The Game In Two GIFs

Some primo running in this one—and actually some primo passing too, and generally good football playing all around. It's like Sean always says (this morning), "it's these god-awful looking games that become the most compelling." This one wasn't the most compelling, but if you like long runs to the e...

Tom Coughlin Yells At Greg Schiano Because Tom Coughlin Yells At People

At the end of the game, Eli Manning took a knee to run out the clock and end the game. The Tampa Bay defense pushed hard and knocked Eli over. Manning thought it was a cheap shot....

Last Night's Holy War Game Between BYU And Utah Ended Bizarrely As Utes Fans Rushed The Field Three Separate Times

Rice-Eccles Stadium in Salt Lake City became the stage for farce in the closing moments of last night's Holy War game between Utah and BYU, as fan confusion over the end of the game led to them rushing the field three times....

The Time ESPN's Lynn Hoppes Debunked MediaTakeOut's Report That Lolo Jones Was Dating Ndamukong Suh

On Thursday, an exclusive came roaring across the front page of the internet: MediaTakeOut.com, long beloved and respected for its crack reporting and evocative headlining, had the exclusive. The full text of their Lolo Jones/Ndamukong Suh love story:...

Remember Ian Beckles? Neither Do We, But He Got Arrested Last Night For Drunkenly Touching A Horse

Ah, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Who the fuck is Ian Beckles?...

Ozzie Guillen Thinks ESPN's Buster Olney Is "Full Of Shit"

Today ESPN's Buster Olney published this (Insider-only) post questioning whether the Marlins' not meeting attendance projections could be blamed on Ozzie Guillen (and not, say, the team's utterly disappointing performance this year). Olney even opened the door for Guillen to be fired after the seas...

Brown University has decided to keep Joe Paterno in its Hall of Fame after all....

Ozzie Guillen Went On A Truly Fantastic Twitter Rant In Which He Compared Derek Jeter And Alex Cintron

Ozzie Guillen is back on Twitter, after three-and-a-half month sabbatical. Today he shared with the world his thoughts on Derek Jeter, Alex Cintron, football, and bullfighting, all in typical Ozzie fashion:...

The Doctor Who Performed Stephen Strasburg's Tommy John Surgery Wasn't Asked About The Nats' Shutdown Plans [UPDATE]

The Nationals shut down Stephen Strasburg for the season on Saturday, and in doing so they, by their own account, deferred to lots of nameless medical experts—"the doctors"—who are definitely not just Scott Boras and his junior partners in lab coats. Nope, no sir....

Cody Ross Went Completely Apoplectic Over A Called Third Strike

I really don't think there's any universe where a baseball player would actually swing and strike an umpire upside the head with a baseball bat. (Delmon Young, by far, has come the closest.) However, when you're reacting in anger to a called third strike and you're still holding a bat in your hands,...

T.J. Simers Trolled The Dodgers, And Matt Treanor Wanted To Fight Him

At the heart of it, a good percentage of sports columns are only about trolling. "What's wrong with Wes Welker?" "Jay Cutler just can't win." These things are written to play the contrarian, and to get a rise, and they tend to work because fans either enjoy being goaded, or can't let the effort pass...

Here Are The 21 Worst Replacement Referee Mistakes From Sunday

Despite management-friendly scribes swearing to the contrary, the NFL's replacement officials made some enormous errors yesterday—some of which affected the outcome of games and at least one that directly led to a starting quarterback being knocked out of the game. That's not to mention losing trac...

Let's Count How Many Metaphors We Can Make Out Of Brandon Weeden Being Trapped Under A Giant American Flag

1. Perfect illustration of the NFL's tendency to smother you to do death with its American-ness....

Look At This Asshole Yelling In Some Guy's Face Because He Wouldn't Sit Down At A Soccer Game

Apparently at Seattle Sounders games some people stand up the entire time as a show of support. That's cool, I guess. I'd prefer to sit in the seat for which I've paid, but to each his own. Some find it annoying because of the whole "better door than window" thing. I am also capable of understandi...

Mary Lou Retton, Vanilla Ice, and William Hung Talk Tebow On NFL Network Because The World Is Officially Ending

Hey guess what everyone? The NFL network has helpfully offered you a segment where Vanilla Ice offers words of wisdom to Tim Tebow for sustained professional success. I want to kill myself....

Camera Spontaneously Disintegrates While Cameraman Films Interview

Peek-a-boo is not just a fun game for babies. It's also good fun for adults watching some boring rugby interview or whatever when a cameraman disappears as quickly as he pops up on screen when his camera falls apart and he drops it all over the place....

Art Modell's Family Requests No Moment Of Silence At Cleveland Browns Stadium This Sunday

On Monday, Browns reporter Tony Grossi told us that the NFL had asked every team in the league to have a moment of silence for Art Modell, one of the main antagonists in the long drama of Cleveland's histrionic sports decrepitude. It probably would have been an awkward moment of silence in Cleveland...