own Page 328 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Police: Chicago Sportscaster Did Head Stand, Danced In Street During Traffic Stop
Chicago sportscaster Mike Adamle got pulled over for allegedly running a flashing red traffic signal in Evanston, Ill. a few weeks back. But was he drunk? He says no, that he had one glass of wine two hours earlier....

Your 1985 College Basketball Open Thread
There are four Top 25 showdowns today: Louisville at UConn, Georgetown at Villanova, Minnesota at Purdue and Missouri at Texas....

A Tribute To Sexist Old Andy Gray
After a long, hard night staring into the bottom of a whiskey glass, listening to Blood on the Tracks and wondering how it all came to this, The Spoiler reached an epiphany at around four o'clock this morning…...

Gilbert Brown's Ladies Will Smother Green Bay With Sexy
The Lingerie Football League announced tonight that Green Bay landed an expansion franchise for the 2011 season. Fans are being asked to suggest team names. Something involving cheese or teet is bound to win....

Will Hill Would Like Everyone To Know He "Does Not Go Harder Than A Russian," Shit In Airports, Etc.
Will Hill, the ex-Gator who's taking his boob-massaging talents to the NFL, went to the airwaves to deny authorship of his Twitter feed, which was lovingly annotated by Spencer Hall of EDSBS last week. Sadly, Hill claims he was hacked....

Is It Better Or Worse That The "Jew" York Jets Typo Happened In Kentucky?
Stereotypes helping stereotypes over at WLKY. [LouisvilleKY.com]...

British Soccer Commentators Accused Of Harboring "Appalling And Damaging Sexist Attitudes"
Sky Sports' Andy Gray and Richard Keys apparently didn't realize their mics were on prior to yesterday's match between Liverpool and Wolverhampton....

The World's First Compelling Sideline Interview, Courtesy Kim Clijsters And Her Suspicious Cleavage
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Cleveland Browns Inspire Impressive Radio Meltdown
A particularly choice radio rant, rivaling Chad Dukes's "Get 'Em" tirade. Best moments: fans are blind sheep and born losers, the owners are the devil, and Al Lerner is "down in hell laughing with Satan." Yikes....

Tom Jackson Is An Insane Person
Okay, so here's Tom Jackson saying he picked New England this weekend to motivate the Jets. When did Jackson become a fucking nutbar?...

What We Talk About When We Talk About Joe Theismann Calling Danny Woodhead "Woodcock"
Nothing. He was probably just thinking of the movie, or maybe a penis. Also, it's not that funny....

Last Night's Winner: Look At This Goddamn <em>New York Post</em> Cover
Just look at it. Have you ever seen anything so amazing in your life?...

Police Called To Bill Simmons's Home For Burglary Only To Find Mighty Mighty Bosstone In Socks
If not for a podcast of four lesser-known comedians, the world probably would have never heard about the absurd Keystone Coppery that went down during a recent football Sunday at the Sports Guy's manse. Follow along with the audio, courtesy Megaboom....

Brent Musburger, Shilling For Tortilla Chips Since 2002
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Confusion Over Garza-Benoit Confusion Finally Resolved
So the Chicago Sun-Times wasn't the only paper to mix up Matt Garza and Joaquín Benoit. The Daily Herald made the same mistake. But don't blame the papers. The error originated with a bad cutline from a wire photographer. Asshole....

<em>Chicago Sun-Times</em> Mixes Up Its Latino Baseball Players
The Cubs on Friday traded for Tampa Bay pitcher Matt Garza. Apparently, this confused the Chicago Sun-Times, which slapped a full-page photo on its back cover of...Joaquín Benoit. Both pitchers are right-handed. Both have facial hair. Let's stop there....

Dan Shaughnessy Is Awful
I'd be remiss if I didn't point out this execrable column from Dan Shaughnessy that ran on SI's website earlier this week, and is yet another triumph of idiotic Boston provincialism....

Let's Marvel At The Perfect Absurdity Of This ESPN Guy's HOF Ballot
Here's the ballot mailed in by Barry Stanton, ESPN news editor: Jack Morris, Edgar Martinez, Tino Martinez, Don Mattingly, B.J. Surhoff. I shit you not. B.J. Surhoff....

Even The ESPN Announcers Were Tired Of Watching That Orange Bowl
ESPN3's online feed does away with commercials entirely, leaving dead silence in their place. Except sometimes they forget to cut the announcers' mics, leading to awkward exchanges like last night's between Jaws, Gruden and Tirico....

Clarification: Ron Franklin Called Jeannine Edwards "Sweet Baby," Not "Sweet Cakes"
Sweet baby? What the hell is that? Who calls anyone "sweet baby," outside of Boyz II Men songs? This makes Ron Franklin both patronizing and weird. [USA Today; earlier]...