own Page 329 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Not A Great Day For Peter King
First he discovers (and describes in detail) this newfangled drinking game called "keg standing," or something. Then he makes an unfortunate pun on Arian Foster's name. He's taking this Favre thing hard....

SportsCenter Anchors Celebrate Eric Mangini Getting Fired
We know it's exciting that the Mangenius is gone in Cleveland, but that's no reason for Hannah Storm and Adam Schefter to high-five over it. They quickly apologized, but still: high-five!...

An ESPN Anchor Maybe Plagiarized A Newspaper Column
ESPNEWS's Will Selva's lead-in to Lakers highlights bears an uncommon resemblance to Kevin Ding's OC Register column. Ding cries plagiarism. To be fair, there's only like three different Christmas-themed ledes....

Two Balls! Two Balls! Two Balls!
Yeah, it's a slow news day in Seattle. "Holy crap!"...

Time To Put The ESPN Ombudsman's Photo On Milk Cartons
Number of ESPN columns praising Don Ohlmeyer in the last 68 days: one. Number of Don Ohlmeyer's ESPN Ombudsman columns in the last 68 days: none....

The Skintight-Lycra-Bodysuit Phenomenon Finds Its Creepy Apex In This Man's Crotch
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Greatest Letter Ever Printed On NFL Team Letterhead
In 1974, a Clevelander wrote the Browns complaining of the menace posed by the then-fad of throwing paper airplanes, and implicitly threatened litigation. The Browns' response is just about the most awesome thing ever committed to paper....

Batshit Hall Of Fame Voter: "I Compare PED Users To Murderers"
And we compare Lowell Cohn to a cymbal-banging monkey toy. I'm beginning to suspect HOF voters really do fancy themselves an elite task force of karacter kops. Drugs make people crazy. A Hall of Fame ballot makes people crazier. [PressDemocrat.com, Business Insider]...

Last Night's Winner: The Brett Favre Miracle
The following comprises actual phrases from actual stories written about a quarterback who last night performed the miracle of transfiguring his old ass off the injured list. These are taken verbatim....

Remembering The "Lorchcast," Worst Sportscast Ever
On Dec. 19, 1995, Matt Lorch, a fill-in sportscaster for KHQA in Quincy, Illinois, endured nearly six minutes on-air with malfunctioning videos, unplanned catch-phrases, and one of the most heartbreaking sighs ever sighed. Fifteen years later, we remember Lorchcast....

Gregg Easterbrook Is Still A Putz
Here are four sentences from last week's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column (or as I like to call it, יום שלישי הקוורטרבק בוקר). They are remarkable in that they pile stupidly on top of one another like a litter of puppies....

Matt Bonner Feels Like New Balance Failed Him Last Night
San Antonio Spurs forward Matt Bonner's right New Balance shoe fell apart during last night's game against Memphis, so he intentionally fouled Zach Randolph and put himself out there for another shoe company's taking....

Lenny Dykstra Won't Dispense Stock Tips And Autograph Balls For $35 At A Mall Today After All
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

This Is How You Give A Post-Game Interview
Rugby — it's just 30 men having a hug/fight. Still, when it comes to cutting through the post-match bullshit, Saracen's boss Brendan Venter has got it all worked out....

The Worst News Lede You'll Read All Year (UPDATE)
"For the past month, body parts have been piling up around Miami-Dade and Broward counties like extra pounds on Kim Kardashian come Christmas time." [Miami New-Times, Google cache Screengrab below]...

Merril Hoge Will Say "Factorback" As Often As He Damn Well Pleases, OK?
Reader Andrew, tired of hearing ESPN's Merril Hoge say "factorback" as if the word actually meant something, recently decided to send the man an email through his website. Soon, Andrew got a testy reply, signed "Merril (Factorback)."...

How Low Can Joe Paterno Go? What Coaches Do When They Hang Out
Former Texas A&M Coach R.C. Slocum seems like a stand-up guy. That's why we think he won't mind us highlighting some of his favorite photos through the years, as posted on his Facebook page....

This Is Terrible Sports TV Banter
Charlie Nicholas broke off from rambling on about "set PCs," and Blackpool players "Kaka" and "T.J. Campbell" to deliver a great contender for worst comeback of the century on Soccer Saturday this weekend....

Charles P. Pierce Responds To Bill Simmons's Response To Charles P. Pierce's Response To Bill Simmons's Book
First came this. Then came Simmons's tweet. And now here's Pierce: "And right back at you, you mendacious, whiny little thin-skinned bag of breeze, you. I've been thrown out of better joints than your bibliography." Yeah, Pierce wins. [Boston.com]...

Indiana Man Selling "Racist Soaps" Doesn't Have Time For "You Politically Correct People"
An Indiana shopkeeper stands accused of selling racist soaps. Gary DeWester, the merchant, says they're "nostalgic" and representative of "American history." He keeps them in his "joke drawer."...