own Page 388 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Show 'Em Your O-Face, Brian
We hope you're excited, Bears fans; as The Sports Hernia points out, You now have Bill Lumbergh as your starting quarterback. Yeah ... we're gonna go ahead and have you play on New Years Eve this year, Rex ......

There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the verbs in your term paper prepare to go on strike ... • MLB: Milwaukee at Atlanta. No, Atlanta Braves; I am your father. Search your feelings; you know it's true! [ESPN] • College football: Oklahoma at Tulsa. The Dust Bowl? [ESPN2] • Golf: Nationwide Tour, Albertsons Boise Op...

Roll Over And Die Like A Champion
We're not sure if we can contribute that much more to the pile-on that has become discussion of the 2007 Notre Dame Fighting Irish and coach Charlie Weis ... but we're gonna try....

NFL Week One Roundup Of Random Notes And Bullet Points, As Is The Style
Thoughts on the first weekend of the NFL ... so glad to have it back ......

Oh, Yeah, Baby, Hit That Sled! Oh, Oooohhh!
As a tight end, Kellen Winslow has the daunting task of learning both blocking and protection schemes with the offensive line, but also the reads and routes of the wide receivers. Miami Sports Blog shows us Winslow mastering the former component of his craft, in the presence of a, um, big fan. On th...

With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...

College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....

ESPN Hires Salisbury Upgrade
ESPN's "NFL Sunday Countdown" has tried all sorts of gimmicks to move the ratings dial up a tick, most famously hiring Rush Limbaugh to defend the long-persecuted white quarterback. But now they're trying something we wouldn't have even thought of: They're bringing in a 10-year-old....

It's The AFC North Pants Party
Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like?...

Ole' Ball Coach Has Half a Mind to Tear Off Corso's Merkin
When Steve Spurrier arrived at South Carolina questions arose as to just how quickly he could turn the perennial also-rans into legitimate contenders. As a an undying supporter of the Ball Coach (yeah, I got custom tags when he came to DC) I knew it would just be a matter of time. Unfortunately not ...

Hugh Johnson's Hangover
Yep, college football is back for real. There was a an exciting, competitive, and meaningful game last night and some forward thinker actually televised it! Cal finished off their two year home-and-home against Tennessee in style with a 45-31 victory. The game offered up a showcase for those who lov...

About Last Night...
What you missed while welcoming hip hop back from the dead vacation... • Baseball: Scott Baker took perfection into the ninth against the Royals. The Big Lead is still engorged. • Football: Michael Strahan surprised nobody when he decided to return to the Giants. Jean's gotta get paid. • Boxing: Sha...

NFL Season Preview: Cleveland Browns
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....

Brady Quinn Stands Before You Shorn
Because we're still a little taken aback by Michael Vick's press conference today — we imagine him using every prison phone call to dial Roger Goodell's office — we bring you lighter news to close the day. Brady Quinn has shaved his head....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Brady Quinn
The art of photography is a delicate, complicated one. You must possess an eye for composition and complexity, yes, but you also must hope your subject — whatever he, she or it is — can be capturing in a moment that reveals something, not just about his / she / its nature, but also humanity as a who...


Solicit Like A Champion
We know that Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis is infinitely more popular than Tyrone Willingham ever was (even though they have pretty much the same record at the university). But it's possible he was paying too much attention to his gastric bypass surgery than his players' well-being, because one of t...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to tune out that Redskins fan bitching about Art Monk... • NFL: Pro Football Hall of Fame Inductions. That means it's just one more day until the first pre-season game. Try to remain calm.[NFL Network] • Boxing: Erik Morales vs. David Diaz for Diaz's lightweight title. El ...

• As usual the Wizznutzz have spent the bulk of the summer in the Mothering Hut and their output has been truly inspired. It's the kind of inspiration you can only get from eating week-old Sabrett's hot dogs with Chico DeBarge and Rod Strickland's pet lemur. Plus the lemur bit Jaarko (who responded ...