owns Page 184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rick Telander: Cubs President Theo Epstein Might Walk On Water This Season (Or Something)
Robot-fearing Chicago Sun-Times sports columnist Rick Telander senses a higher power surrounding these 2012 Chicago Cubs. It's something holy and ethereal, or maybe it's grounded in hard, empirical data. Gosh, maybe we'll let him sort this out....

ESPN Cameras Caught Rafael Furcal With His Pants Down
With an on-premises pool and the overall clothing-optional vibe of Miami, the new Marlins ballpark is ripe for sighting people without their pants on. We just figured the first person to be spotted sin pantalones would be a spectator, not a player. But ESPN did us right by grabbing this shot of t...

Annals Of Bullshit: The Myth Of The Myth Of Cal Ripken's Historic Home Run
Twenty years ago, Oriole Park at Camden Yards brought in an era of fake history in baseball architecture. So it fits that The Baltimore Sun's roundup of the park's greatest moments would feature fake history too. For the No. 1 moment, baseball beat reporter Dan Connolly described the night Cal Ripke...

That "White Michael Vick" Issue Of <em>ESPN The Magazine</em> Is Up For An Award
Remember this edition of ESPN The Periodical? It's been nominated for a National Magazine Award in the "single-topic issue" category. As you know, the issue touched on of the one of the great faultlines in our culture today: bad Photoshop. [ASME]...

Fishing Writer Submits April Fools' Column Without Telling His Editor, Paper Runs It As Fact
April Fools' Day is a day when internet users need to be especially vigilant. For every creative and well-conceived joke, like Google's 8-bit maps or AdBlock's CatBlock, there are 10 dumb "pranks" that consist of nothing more than "making shit up" and calling it an April Fool's Day joke. They're not...

Despite Scoring Two Goals, Mario Balotelli's Biggest Impact Yesterday Was This Hissy Fit
A fractured Manchester City side patched together a 3-3 draw at home against Sunderland yesterday thanks in part to two Mario Balotelli goals. Yet City management find themselves most concerned with Balotelli's on-pitch behavior, especially in light of this tantrum he threw yesterday over not bein...

Greek Basketball Fans Set Fire Inside Stadium After Advancing To Euroleague Final Four
This is how fans of professional sports teams burn something down. Take note, Kentucky. For some back story, lets take a look at the AP writeup, in its entirety, by someone who clearly did not attend the game....

The Angry, Angry Coaches Of The Final Four: A Video Compilation
Tonight's Final Four promises some great on the court action, both in the intrastate battle between Kentucky and Louisville, and in the Ohio State vs. Kansas game. The games also feature four prominent college basketball Coaches in John Calipari, Rick Pitino, Thad Matta, and Bill Self....

Kari Lehtonen Hits Fan In Face With Puck, Gives Him Towel To Clean Up The Blood That Is Promptly Stolen By Another Fan
Hockey fandom is a dangerous game, folks. If you're not taking pucks to the face then you're being ripped off by your fellow fans after taking a puck to the face. At least this woman had a conscience and eventually gave the towel back. For his troubles, the fan received Lehtonen's stick and a few ...

Trent Richardson Smash!
Pro days are serious business. With fewer players taking part in the Combine, whether due to injury or the founded fear that performing can only hurt their draft stock, the highly controlled pro day has become the showcase of choice for the top prospects. This is bad news for the NFL Network, and ...

Tim Tebow Is So Uncontroversial The <em>Times</em> Is Afraid To Say What's Not Controversial About Him
Hey, anyone want to fire up the ol' Tim Tebow culture war again? It's been, what, three days? Well, here's a "meet the new guy" story in today's New York Times called "Tebow, a Careful Evangelical." It is a generally inoffensive look at the quarterback so beloved by people who collect Hummel figurin...

An Ohio State Superfan Was Hospitalized By A Flying Turkey
If all you know about Ohio is from watching WKRP, you might think that turkeys can't fly. Not so, claims Ohio State superfan John Chubb—better known as "Buck-I-Guy"—who claims one of the birds smashed through his windshield as he returned from the Buckeyes' 3rd-round win over Gonzaga last weekend....

Mario Balotelli Does Thing
Inter Milan sacked manager Claudio Ranieri this week, and introduced interim manager Andrea Stramaccioni this morning at a press conference....

Mistaken ESPN Text Alert Reads Like A Cry For Help
A number of readers have sent screen grabs of this mobile text alert sent out a short while ago by the Worldwide Leader. Was it simply an innocent error, or was someone somewhere in Bristol trying to tell us something?...

Al Trautwig Is Worried About Amar'e Stoudemire's Bulging Dick
Every time an athlete comes down with a bulging disc, we start the countdown. It took MSG's Al Trautwig but a few hours to make the inevitable slip-up....

Here's A Briefcase-Wielding Zombie Invading The Set Of The U.K.'s Channel Four News
I don't care to fathom much explanation for this. It's weird, and sometimes weird things are best left up to their own interpretations. (But, seriously, anyone heard anything from the Brits lately?)...

Jimmy Roberts Gave Brian Collins A Shout-Out With A "Boom Goes The Dynamite" O-Rena Implosion Voiceover
We've been on top of Brian Collins's career for more than five years now, but it surely must be a highlight of his life for him to hear NBC sportscaster Jimmy Roberts use his catchphrase "Boom Goes The Dynamite" to describe dynamite going boom. [NBC]...

High School Basketball Player With Down Syndrome Barred From Team Because He's Too Old
The Michigan High School Athletic Association has barred 19 year-old Eric Dompierre from playing with his basketball team because the rules prohibit anyone from playing if they are over 19 years old. This is (not really) a story about discrimination against those with Down Syndrome. It is a story a...

Joba Chamberlain's Freak Trampoline Accident Is Just Like Brien Taylor Getting In A Bar Fight
All the pieces fit, don't they? Strangely spelled first names, injured pitchers...actually, that's about it. Don't let that stop you though, Bill Madden. According to Madden, Chamberlain had a "death wish for his career." So, it makes all the sense in the world that he finally pulled it off at some...

Bill Raftery Thinks Derrick Coleman Is Fat
Former Syracuse great Derrick Coleman is in Boston to root on the Orange in tonight's game against Wisconsin, and is looking a bit girthier than in his NBA playing days. Given the massive amount of debt he's been in, you'd think he might be living a bit leaner. [CBS]...