pe Page 1065 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Pomp And Circumstance
Look, I know you're sick of this, but I think it's worth noting even for the millionth time just what kind of big, dumb spectacle we all watched slackjawed on our stupid televisions: an overhyped and overproduced orgy of excess and inexplicable weeping presided over by a pious relic that perpetuates...
Maple Leafs' Swedish Goalie Prospect Is A Terrible Rapper
Toronto signed Mark "In Da Park" Owuya, a 21-year-old goalie prospect from Sweden, to an entry-level contract on Thursday. Last season, Da Park had a 2.18 goals-against average and a .927 save percentage in goal for Djurgarden, of the Swedish Elite League....
Soccer Team Signs One-Year-Old After Audition Goes Viral
Maybe you're one of the three-plus million folks who saw Baerke van der Meij putting away his toys with some well-placed boots. Adorable, right? Dutch Eredivise side VVV saw it too, and saw a future strike....
Your Royal Wedding Open Thread
Right, so this is about to happen. Don't even pretend like you've above this, because you watch pro sports, and there's nothing less inherently important than pro sports. Also, David Beckham got an invite, so this is relevant....
How an Imperfect Player Became the Perfect <em>Madden</em> Cover Pick
He's the first Madden cover star from a losing team. The first with no Pro Bowl appearances at the time of his selection. He led NFL running backs in one statistical category last year - fumbles.… [Kotaku] ...
Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
There's single second-round game on the lineup. The Nashville Predators visit the Vancouver Canucks. It may not mean a lot to you, but it means a lot to the Green Men....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit realizes it has less balls than a castrato....
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
In tonight's games, the Orlando Magic, New Orleans Hornets and Portland Trailblazers have an opportunity to extend their opening-round series to a seventh, and decisive, game. Orlando visits Atlanta at 7:30 p.m. eastern. The Hornets host the Lakers a half-hour later. The Blazers welcome the Maveric...
Real Madrid Is So Butthurt Right Now
Real Madrid's official website has produced a short video purporting to show that Pepe didn't deserve his red card in yesterday's Clásico, complete with zooms, isos, and super slow mo shots. They've also cited the learned opinions of the legends of the game, like Rio Ferdinand and, er, Chad Ochocinc...
Here's A Beautiful Animation Of The First Of Five El Clásicos This Year
Your morning roundup for April 28, the day we learn that God's advice for ending a 46-day beer-only fast is with a bacon smoothie, forever and ever, Amen....
Today In Great Quotes
"I didn't touch her," Haynesworth responded, according to the document, adding that he doesn't "even like black girls." — Per ESPN, prosecutors filed paperwork in Superior Court in Washington saying that if football-player extraordinaire Albert Haynesworth agrees to plead guilty to simple assault t...
Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Let's look at tonight's pair of Game Sevens through the lens of potential second-round match-ups....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a dirt nap....
Peyton Hillis Is <em>Madden NFL 12</em>'s Cover Star
Fans selected Peyton Hillis, the Cleveland Browns running back, to grace the cover of Madden NFL 12. Hillis prevailed in a five-week, tournament style vote-off that drew nearly 13 million votes, and was the final round winner over Philadelphia Eagles… [Kotaku] ...
Obama Released His Birth Certificate In The Face Of Unrelenting Pressure From Tommy Tuberville
Tuberville, appearing Tuesday on Sean Hannity's TV show: "We've got enough controversy going on in this country. I don't know why he wouldn't just step up and say, ‘Here it is.' Obviously, there's got to be something on there he doesn't want anybody to see." [Lubbock Avalanche-Journal]...
Here's Your MLB Play Of The Season As Ryan Raburn Assists A Home Run
That's Detroit's Ryan Raburn with the Cansecoesque slap assist on Miguel Olivo's fly ball to left. Ryan, you have joined the immortals. [MLB.com]...
Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The ESPN homepage suggests this evening that we might have to "rewrite the script" for the 2011 playoffs, what with the Magic just one game from elimination, the Hornets even with the Lakers, and the Bulls barely escaping multiple games with the Pacers to lead the series, 3-1....
We Are All Dave McKenna LXXXI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until a judge goes all Agent Orange on Dan "Daniel" Snyder's libel suit....
Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
There are two game sevens on the bill tonight, with the Canucks-Blackhawks and Sabres-Flyers series both tied up, 3-3. The Bruins, meanwhile, have come back from two games down against the Canadiens and now lead 3-2. They'll play in Montreal tonight, which means Zdeno Chara can once again look forwa...
Tony Kornheiser Finally, Frustratingly Weighs In On Dan Snyder
Kornheiser is the most visible members of the Washington DC sports media scene. He's also employed by Dan Snyder's radio broadcasting company, and ESPN. Because of the latter, he's been silent on the matter, and because of the former, that silence speaks volumes....