pe Page 1066 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Luke Scott Is Still A Gun-Humping Birther Survivalist Lunatic, Chickenshit ESPN Story Won't Say
Luke Scott is a gun-humping birther survivalist lunatic who keeps a pistol in his sofa cushion and throws plantain chips at a black teammate when he acts "like a savage." Sounds like an asshole, right? But things aren't so simple, ESPN's Amy K. Nelson tells us in her recent profile of Scott, and she...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit makes like an ant under a very patient child's magnifying glass on a 110-degree day with a cloudless sky....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit contracts comes down with a debilitating case of necrotizing fasciitis without access doctors and/or antibiotics....

Your MLB Open Thread
Look at the Angels fans throwing balled-up dollar bills at Carl Crawford like he's a dayside pole dancer named Chantrice. About this, intrepid boots-on-the-ground tipster Ryan C. writes:...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit leaves Brown because of incessant teasing....

Naked Man Invades Home, Steals Prized Kansas Basketball Outfit For Cover
Donald Watson of Springfield, Mo. was charged yesterday for invading a home while naked. While he was there, he donned a former tenant's beloved Kansas basketball outfit and then took off on a police chase; he was ultimately taken into custody after "a run-in with a police dog."...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXVI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit somehow wakes Dante up from his eternal slumber and creates a 10th circle of Hell solely for dumbass libel suits of this nature to share ...

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Three games tonight, one of which is already underway. Boston is visiting Montreal, where they'll try to draw even at two games each. At 10 p.m., the defending champion Chicago Blackhawks try to postpone the start of their offseason against the Canucks in Vancouver. Then, the L.A. Kings host the Sa...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Chicago Bulls, Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks each won a pair of opening-round home games. Tonight, the Pacers, Sixers and Blazers try to cut their deficit in half. The games start at 7 p.m., 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. eastern, respectively....

It's Hard To Blame Someone For Not Wanting To Play In Winnipeg
If indeed the Phoenix Coyotes have played their last game as the Phoenix Coyotes, netminder Ilya Bryzgalov won't be making the move north with them....

This Russell Westbrook Play Is Everything That's Great About The Thunder
One fundamental tenet of basketball is that the best way to break a press is to not let the ball hit the floor. Another fundamental tenet is that, when you have a point guard like Russell Westbrook, you get the hell out of the way....

Here Are Both Of Last Night's 2OT Cockpunches
Playoff hockey overtime might be the single greatest thing in the sports world — assuming your team isn't involved. Then it's a war of nail-biting, heart-stopping attrition, destined to end in glory and highlight compilations for one side, and wondering why you even bothered staying up late for th...

The Lady Who Yelled At Cops To Stop Beating, Tasing The Patriotic Pirates Fan Was Fined $1,000
Remember the clearly patriotic Pirates fan who got billy clubbed and Tased at PNC Park earlier this month? Of course you do, but here's a link to it anyway. Dude's name is Scott Ashley. He's 40, from Friendship, but isn't due in court until May 25 to face charges of harassment, public drunkenness,...

Your NBA Playoffs Open Thread
The Nuggets, Spurs and Lakers try to avoid going down 2-0. The Thunder, Grizzlies and Hornets try to go up 2-0. They'll do so starting at 8, 8:30 and 10:30 p.m. respectively. So exciting....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit find its way into the wood chipper....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
There are five games tonight, but only one series might end with a sweep. That would be Detroit playing in Phoenix, but they don't start until 10:30 p.m. eastern. So, check into whether the Washington Capitals and Pittsburgh Penguins can take 3-1 leads over the New York Rangers and Tampa Bay Lightn...

Kurt Warner Talks Dancing, Theodicy On His <em>Good Day L.A.</em> Interview
Of all places for Kurt Warner to get backed up against a wall, and then repeatedly and viciously head-butted about his religion, a Good Day L.A. interview was not our first guess. But yesterday, the former NFL quarterback and born-again Christian joined Jillian Reynolds, Steve Edwards, and Dorothy...

How These Two White Guys Wound Up In This Kendrick Perkins Family Photo
Like most white guys from suburban Boston, half-brothers Brian Johnson and Justin Tsouros had never hung out with an NBA player. So when they arrived at the condo in Waltham, Mass., one evening in the fall of 2007, they didn't quite know what to expect. The place was dark. The blinds were drawn. But...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXXIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until [Daniel] Snyder's dumbass libel suit puts down the gun and fights like a man....

NBA Admits That Kendrick Perkins Should Have Had Two Points Instead Of Four On Sunday
If you watched the Thunder-Nuggets game on Sunday night, you probably remember this play, which came with just over a minute remaining in the fourth quarter. Kendrick Perkins, the Oklahoma City big man who has struggled a bit — with injury and with scoring — since he arrived from Boston in Februar...