pe Page 1208 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fun With Wikipedia
We're not sure if it's still there, but it seems that someone was having a bit of fun with the Snohomish High School Wikipedia entry today. Under the "traditions" section, appears the following text:...
Special Olympic Perversity In Chicago
We don't mean to be scolding moralists here, but we're pretty sure this is an excellent way to get sent to Hell....
I Wish You Wouldn't Kill Anthony Morelli
Penn State quarterback Anthony Morelli has received death threats via e-mail, for infractions way less severe than going to the Barbaro message board and wishing out loud that the horse would die. No, some jack-ass Penn State fans want him dead because he's only thrown for 2,227 yards and 10 touchdo...
God, The Full Monty, And You
In Western religion, most of us figure that God has already seen us naked on multiple occasions. And he ain't that impressed. Just look at Exodus 19:21 for proof: "And the Lord said unto Moses, Go down, charge the people, lest they break through unto the Lord to gaze, and many of them perish. But ...
Pearlman About As Pleased With Rocker Right Now As Rocker Is With Him
You might have missed our interview with John Rocker yesterday, but there's one person who didn't: Jeff Pearlman, the man who wrote the initial SI story on Rocker (and one-time Deadspin interview himself)....
What Good Is Having A Younger Brother If You Can't Do This?
We weren't there, but we imagine that this was pretty much every day in the Manning family backyard, circa 1985. The small, helmeted figure, crawling in a stupor after smashing into a large object ... that would be Eli, and it really would explain a lot to current New York Giants fans....
PETA Is Worried About Shaq's Hands
A few people out there have wondered if the entirely reasonable and in no way dramatically and insanely overstepping in the name of a somewhat noble (occasionally) cause folks at PETA have an opinion on David Stern's decision to be with leather again. Well, they do....
The Trojans Needed To VISUALIZE Their Success (Oh, And Tackle Better)
So why did Southern California lose to UCLA last week? Not because of a stout Bruins defense, or a somewhat green Trojans squad cracking under the pressure. Nope, they lost because coach Pete Carroll programmed his team to lose....
Jeffrey Maier Wants To Return And Screw Over The Orioles Again
You might remember that Jeffrey Maier, the infamous Yankees fan who might have cost the Orioles a win in the 1996 American League Championship Series, was hoping to be selected in the amateur draft earlier this year. Well, it didn't quite happen the way he wanted, so now, at the Winter Meetings — ...
Wear The Jersey Of Your Favorite Player's Venereal Disease!
You might remember the famous OutSports expose on the words that the NFL won't allow you to print on the back of their jerseys. Apparently, this guy, from the Atlanta game last weekend, was somehow able to iron on this tribute to Ron Mexico himself....
Flush With Two-Ply Dreams Of Greatness
The Bakersfield Condors are a minor league hockey franchise in California, whose team motto is Soaring to New Heights. And never will that be more in evidence than on Friday during Toilet Paper Roll Giveaway Night, as the Condors take on the Fresno Falcons....
Someone Please Just Reform The Education System Already
We'd like to thank Run Up The Score for directing us to this Pittsburgh sports fan, who gives us his rendition of the Cotton Eyed Joe dance — we are sad to know such a song actually has its own dance — that he plans on performing at a future Penguins game. He is also illustrating the true genius of ...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who'll Be the Next Athlete to Have a Sex Tape?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Hating The Yankees With The Strokes
This offseason has been a somewhat difficult one for Mets fans, who are still trying to deal with the glue that held Carlos Beltran's bat to his shoulder and the creeping sense that they really are going to sign Moises Alou. And it's not just your smart fans hand-wringing either. One of the quieter ...
The New Jersey Nets Are Looking For GILFs
Usually with cheerleaders, the general rule of thumb is "the more jiggling, the better." With the group the New Jersey Nets are attempting to put together, though, the jiggling will be out of control and it will be 100% unwelcome....
Emmitt Smith, You Are A Champion! The Emptiness Is Temporarily Gone!
It appears that American can finally release its collective tension: "Dancing With The Stars" has finally crowned a winner. And it's none other than ... Emmitt Smith! Yes, the former Cowboys (and Buzzsaw) running back emerged victorious last night, barely edging out Mario Lopez, and any contest in...
You Know What? We Prefer Orton And His Jack
Because we haven't had any fun Athlete Doing What Most Of Us Do All The Time But It's Still Amusing To See Because It's Funny When The Public Relations Bubble Is Burst And They Look Like Normal Human Beings pictures for a while, we present you this shot of San Diego Padres pitcher Jake Peavy, down...
The Joy Of The 2006 Skins
This video, captured yesterday, pretty sums up everything you need to know about the Washington Redskins' season so far. Careful, kids; you might need those brains someday. Though probably not....
It Should Also Help With Crowd Impulse Control
Apparently, they've been running low on sperm in England, not just in general, but at the sperm banks. So, to make sure that any perspective sperm recipients receive the goods from the most intelligent, calm, rational donors possible, sperm banks are considering setting up shop right outside Premi...
NBA Roundup: The Cuban Fizzle Crisis
Notes from Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association:...