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Wikileaks: Clinton Campaign Considered Having Her Make A "Yo Mama" Joke 

Here’s a good one from the Clinton email leaks. Before a February campaign event in Birmingham, Al., a Hillary Clinton campaign staffer wrote a “Yo mama” joke into the speech, one which was eventually cut....

Is Eric Trump A Lemonade Thief?

The latest scandal out of Donald Trump’s campaign: Possible lemonade theft. It appears that Eric Trump, one of his five children, put lemonade in a water cup at an In-N-Out burger, which the restaurant frowns upon....

Donald Trump's Donation Ticker Is Actually Just A Sample File On Loop

Take a trip over to DonaldJTrump.com, and you’ll be greeted by the nice, prominent donation ticker you see above. The implication, of course, is that all these people have just added their name to Team Trump—and you should, too! Except that, at least according to the site’s source code, those “donat...

This Was The Only Good Part Of Tonight's Debate

In a brief battle over exactly how much Donald Trump loves Vladimir Putin (is it just a lot or more than he loves his own children?), Trump offered the most infantile, absolutely incredible retort of his campaign thus far. Specifically, Trump went with the tried and true, “I know you are, but what a...

Donald Trump Won't Say If He’ll Accept The Results Of The Election If He Loses<em></em>

Barring some monumental fuckup on the part of the Clinton campaign, Donald Trump will not be the next president of the United States. Over the past few months, he has repeatedly fed the notion that if he loses, it will be because of voter fraud or other illegal electoral malfeasance, not because of ...

Donald Trump Prepares For Tonight's Debate

At this point, it’s common knowledge that Donald Trump isn’t exactly one for studying, but even the Donald has to prepare a little. Which is why now, for the first time ever, we’re giving you an inside look at Trump headquarters as his team readies their candidate for tonight’s debate....

Organize Or Die 

Realistically, there is only one way out of our predicament. ...

Debate Prep Is Hard<em></em>

As a celebrity, he had a history of saying improper things, and he was in trouble following a leaked tape of himself at his most offensive. As a candidate, he never seemed to stick to a script, and he’d often contradict himself. And yet professionally unserious Kinky Friedman was running a serious c...

The Election Is Done, By The Way

Here’s how this debate is going to go:...

DNC Apologizes For Illegally Dumping A Bunch Of Poop Down A Storm Drain

A DNC bus was apparently so full of shit this morning that it pulled over in Lawrenceville, Ga. and illegally dumped a bunch of it down a storm drain. Witnesses complained of a “foul smell” and witnessed the bus dumping raw sewage on the Grayson Highway this morning between campaign stops. It was ba...

It Was A Nice Day In New York Today

Earlier today, local news station NY1 stumbled upon a “mysterious” statue of a mostly naked Hillary Clinton “depicted with horse hooves, and standing on what appeared to be printouts of emails. The statue also featured a Wall Street banker pressed against her left breast.” So of course, some shit we...

Curt Schilling, For What Feels Like The Hundredth Time, Says He's Going To Run For Senate

Curt Schilling, the elite meme curator and former MLB pitcher made famous by refusing to recognize when he didn’t have a leg to stand on, said that he is considering a run for the United States Senate in 2018. This is not a new claim from him....

Please Stay The Fuck Out Of This, Canada

As much of a nightmare as this election season has been, we were at least able to take solace in the fact that we, as a nation, could sink no lower. But even that’s no longer true. Because now, Canada thinks they’re better than us. These are truly our darkest days....

WikiLeaks Emails Show Clinton Aides Cowering In Fear Of Seeming To Care About The Poor

Here is a remarkable bit from the recently WikiLeaked emails of John Podesta, chairman of Hillary Clinton’s presidential campaign. If it doesn’t quite reveal some nefarious master plan for technoligarch world domination, it at least provides an opportunity to goggle at some extremely dumb campaign s...

Curt Schilling Went On The Radio To Defend His Right To Think Young Girls Are Attractive

Curt Schilling, who yesterday went on TV to defend Donald Trump’s ogling of a preteen girl and to let everyone know that he himself has noticed and remarked upon the beauty of his daughter’s friends, refuses to log off....

Donald Trump On Woman Who Accused Him Of Sexual Assault: "Look At Her ... I Don't Think So"

Speaking at a rally in West Palm Beach, Florida today, Donald Trump went on an extended rant regarding the deluge of sexual assault allegations against him that have been popping up over the past few days. His defense against those of People writer Natasha Stoynoff specifically? Of course he didn’t ...

Trump Spokesperson’s Sexual Assault Defense: Let Me Tell You About Airplanes<em></em>

Katrina Pierson has an obvious rejoinder to Jessica Leeds’s accusation that Donald Trump groped her on a plane in the 1980's: Nobody is talking about the features of the D-9, MD-80, 707, or the L-1011! ...

So Many More Women Have Accused Donald Trump Of Groping And Harassing Them [Update]

The Trump campaign continues to unravel 27 days before the election. Less than a week after the Washington Post revealed that he and Billy Bush had casually joked about sexually harassing women and “[grabbing] them by the pussy,” several women have come forward, to a variety of news outlets, allegin...

The Missed Opportunity

In America—despite our inequality and blatant cronyism—the socialists never win. The socialists never could have won. Except for this year. ...