rants Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dan Le Batard Savages The Pacers And All Of Indiana In His Latest Rant
We've long been fans of Dan Le Batard's rants, which he chooses to unleash whenever the Miami Heat have finished conquering a rival team or city. This year, Le Batard set his sights on the Pacers and the entire state of Indiana, spending nearly 10 minutes gloating over the Heat winning the Eastern ...
Fuck Chipotle
Everyone's rightfully goofing on Chipotle today for unveiling a line of cups and bags featuring insta-literature from the likes of Toni Morrison and George Saunders. Now, I have no issue with restaurant chains scrawling stuff on their packaging. Cook Out could post entire passages from Leviticus o...
Michael Sam Is Doing A Reality Show, And That Sucks
So Michael Sam has a reality show now, and I'm just gonna go ahead and align myself with the HOT TAKES crowd and say that Sam just pissed away a whole lot of the goodwill he'd built up for himself these past few months. They can class up the announcement all they like. They can call it a "document...
Down With Runway Food
I was watching an episode of Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown recently, and he was in Vegas at a fancy José Andrés restaurant-within-a-restaurant that had roughly two and a half seats and likely charged hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for a single meal. Bourdain was presented with an "egg" that wa...
Facebook Is Dead
I don't use Facebook much anymore, because anyone with a brain knows that Facebook is terrible. Apart from the long-standing complaints about privacy and insufferable people posting pictures of their own feet from a fucking beach, it's really only useful as a one-time thing. You make your account....
Mary Carillo Explains Her Amazing Badminton Rant
This morning, we posted NBC anchor Mary Carillo's 2004 rant about badminton because we had never seen it before and we wanted to share it with the world. Carillo just wrote an email to us, explaining how that monologue made it on the air:...
Let's Relive Mary Carillo's Great American Badminton Rant
If you've watched any of NBC's Olympic coverage, you've probably found yourself enjoying the work of Mary Carillo, whose woman-on-the-scene reports are one of the more enjoyable parts of the network's coverage of the games. But Carillo's never been better than she was at the 2004 summer games, when...
Fuck You, "You Sexy Thing"
There were a lot of shitty Super Bowl ads last night. Spending $4 million on an ad means that most companies and ad agencies are too scared to allow one person to have a single vision of what the ad should be, and thus you get a 30 second gangbang of styles of tones and terrible jokes and unwanted ...
SIU Coach Blasts "Mama's Boys" Players In Exquisite Rant
After Southern Illinois's 73-65 loss at Murray State last night, Salukis coach Barry Hinson tore into his team with a six-minute rant that's right up there with history's best. Give a listen:...
Why Your Cardinals Suck
The St. Louis Cardinals beat the Pittsburgh Pirates last night, because the Cardinals don't like it when another team like the Pirates or Nationals dares to threaten their self-appointed status as America's Baseball Sweethearts. They'll move on to face the GLORY BOY Dodgers in the NLCS, and somehow ...
Why People Hate Darren Rovell
This weekend, Steve Kandell at BuzzFeeᴅ took a brief respite from posting listicles of shit that makes you feel old to do a big #longread on ESPN sports business reporter and Boiler Room extra Darren Rovell. As usual, Rovell comes across as an unapologetic industry hack, someone who found his niche...
The Greatest Yankees Meltdown Ever Captured On Tape [NSFW]
Here's a cool old relic from the last great era of Yankees dysfunction. It's a clip of Hall of Fame reliever Goose Gossage losing his shit in front of the New York media in 1982—the beginning of a miserable, drawn-out decade for the organization, when all that '70s glory turned to pinstriped shit....
Woman Sobs And Rants After Not Getting Autographs At Redskins Camp
Oh, dear. This is just so very sad. Crying Giants fan, you may have met your match. ...
Fuck You, Bill Belichick
I was close, Bill Belichick. I was thissss close to spending an entire NFL season free of Tebowmania, or Tebow Time, or whatever fucking brand stamp ESPN decides to put on all its coverage of the Jesusback. I was really looking forward to it, too. I was gonna watch every game safe in the knowledg...
Bill Polian Rips Tyrann Mathieu, Calls Honey Badger "A Poor Teammate"
Former NFL general manager and current ESPN analyst Bill Polian destroyed Tyrann Mathieu today, calling the prospect a "poor teammate and a poor risk," and claiming were he still in charge of drafting for a pro team that he'd "take him off our board."...
Taste Test: Will Dorito-Sheathed Tacos Be The End Of Us All?
You saunter up to the counter at your local Taco Bell, you order your Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Taco (taking care not to actually say all of that, for fear of creating the accurate impression that you have paid rapt attention to the television advertisements and planned this trip in advance; instead ...
We’ve Translated This Apoplectic Irish Soccer Fan's Rant For Those Not Fluent In Crazy-Speak
A few weeks ago, Juventus defeated Celtic 3-0 in Champions League play. Soon after, this video of a mildly distressed Celtic fan appeared on the internet. We do not know who this young woman is, and we do not have any idea what she is saying in this video, but we do know that her grief is very rea...
Scarves Are Bullshit
It's cold outside today, unless you're one of those insufferable L.A. people who are like IT'S SUNNY AND 70 HERE IN DOUCHE HEAVEN, BABY! Anyway, I had to venture out into the WINDSWEPT MOONSCAPE today, and it was imperative to cover both my neck and the lower half of my face. This is the Scarf Zone,...
"What A Joke This Sport Is!" Jeff Van Gundy Is Not A Fan Of The Designated Hitter Rule
The Thunder's beat-down of the Lakers last night got a little boring towards the end, as beat-downs will, and unlike some spectators, Mike Breen and Jeff Van Gundy were contractually obligated to remain in their seats. Naturally, talk turned to the designated hitter, and—like many people, but in h...