rist Page 75 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rudy Gobert Gives Kristaps Porzingis Some Harsh Life Lessons
The New York Knicks’ Sunday afternoon started off pretty well. A 30-20 lead over the Utah Jazz at the end of the first quarter, 14 points from sweet franchise guiding light Kristaps Porzingis, this gorgeous assist from Derrick Rose, all was looking good....
Ben Zobrist Has Your Attention Now
It’s good to be Ben Zobrist. After leaving Tampa, where he put in nine productive seasons, he’s now a back-to-back World Series champion, helping bring championships to both the Royals and the Cubs, two midwestern teams with disparate, but notable droughts. Oh, and he delivered the decisive hit to m...
Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday
The most shocking scoreline of yesterday’s round of Champions League matches was definitely the 3-3 draw between reigning European champions Real Madrid and Polish giants (but European minnows) Legia Warsaw. How could a team of Gareth Bale, Karim Benzema, and—above all—Cristiano Ronaldo fail to beat...
Ronaldo On His Biggest Influence (Himself), His Biggest Inspiration (Himself), And How He Craves The Hate
Man, Cristiano Ronaldo sure does love him some Cristiano Ronaldo. From representations of his well-chiseled body to his facially-imprecise but amply-bedicked statue, to a glorified home movie disguised as a feature film, and even to his own, apparently delicious crotch, it’s long been evident that R...
Indian-American Church Basketball Is A World All Its Own<em></em>
A priest takes the first shot. ...
NBA TV's Kristen Ledlow Says She Was Robbed At Gunpoint
This evening, NBA TV reporter and NBA Inside Stuff host Kristen Ledlow posted a short note on her Twitter and Instagram pages saying she was robbed at gunpoint yesterday. She says that she’ll be taking a social media hiatus for a bit....
Barcelona Are Reportedly Hot For Christian Pulisic
Look, I’m not going to tell you that this Spanish paper’s report that Barcelona, the (in my humble and in no way biased opinion) best club in world soccer, are “closely following” America’s Wonderteen Christian Pulisic, the (again, humble, unbiased opinion) greatest, can’t-miss soccer prospect in th...
WWE Announcer Falsely Claims Goldberg Was The Greatest-Ever WCW Champion
Tonight, Bill Goldberg returned to pro wrestling, with WWE announcer Michael Cole falsely claiming he was “the greatest champion in WCW history.”...
Salty-Ass Cristiano Ronaldo Flips Out After Teammate Laughs At Him
Regular human beings Danilo and Marcelo shared a laugh during Real Madrid training yesterday after the former did that funny little thing that sometimes happens during piggy-in-the-middle games and passed the ball between Cristiano Ronaldo’s legs. The cyborg Ronaldo must not have had his emotional c...
Hey, Cristiano Ronaldo Scored A Pretty Cool Goal!
Well, well, would you look at this. Global icon, all-time soccer great, and technological marvel (seriously, how did they make this android so convincingly human that it takes a solid 10 minutes or so of listening to him before you realize he was “born” in an evil scientist’s underground bunker?) Cr...
Detective Curt Schilling Is On The Case Of The Hoboken Train Crash
A train crashed into a station terminal in Hoboken, N.J., this morning, reportedly killing one and injuring over 100. The cause of the crash is still under investigation, but former MLB pitcher Curt Schilling has his own theories....
Brilliant Shithead Cristiano Ronaldo Had A Brilliant, Shitheaded Game Yesterday
As everyone knows, Cristiano Ronaldo is one of the greatest soccer players of all time. He’s also an obnoxious, petulant brat prone to sneaky acts of outright violence when he feels aggrieved. All sides of CR7 were on display during yesterday’s Real Madrid-Borussia Dortmund match....
America's Beautiful Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, Just Ran Through Real Madrid<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund, one of the world’s very best soccer teams, found themselves down against Real Madrid, the most famous sports team on the planet, in a Champions League match today. Looking to change the game, they turned to a goddamn American child, 18-year-old Christian Pulisic, to save the day. ...
High School Boys Soccer Team Forfeits Rather Than Risk Losing To Girls
The boys soccer team of a Christian high school in Arizona decided to forfeit a game rather than play a team that included girls, citing religious beliefs....
Christian Pulisic Is Too Good To Be Underhyped
It wasn’t even two whole weeks ago that Borussia Dortmund manager Thomas Tuchel sought to keep the hype flames being stoked by eager Christian Pulisic fans under control. Sure, it’s neat that Pulisic has done well with the USMNT, I guess, Tuchel basically said. But let’s be real: he was doing it aga...
Borussia Dortmund Manager Pours Some Cold Water On The Christian Pulisic Craze
Hardcore American soccer fans are rightfully beside ourselves with excitement about our latest and greatest hope for a soccer superstar, Christian Pulisic—especially after his exploits during this past international break. Should he—a teenaged, Bieber-bumping child, mind you—leave Borussia Dortmund ...
Amanda Knox's Boyfriend Is Here To Party Rock
Amanda Knox—aka Foxy Knoxy, the American student accused, convicted, and then acquitted (twice) of murdering her roommate Meredith Kercher in Italy in 2007—is in Toronto this weekend to promote a forthcoming Netflix documentary that reexamines the case. ...
Christian Benteke Probably Made Crystal Palace Sign His Little Brother, Who Sucks
It’s often difficult for small teams to convince players at big clubs making big bucks to forgo the glory and riches of the game’s destination clubs in favor of being the star at the little team, even when said player has found himself latched to the big team’s bench. Thus small clubs must pull out ...
Christian Pulisic Is Already Here
So much of the talk around Christian Pulisic is in the future tense. How good could he be, how soon will he be ready to play every week for Dortmund, when should he look to move to a first team elsewhere. This is fine, since he’s 17 and has been playing first-team soccer for less than a year. Howeve...