si Page 799 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

DadBoner Unmasked: Cracking The Internet's Biggest Mystery
Last week, we chronicled our efforts to find out the comic mastermind behind the great DadBoner twitter feed, an effort that was met with resistance by certain fans of the feed and by Karl Welzein himself, not to mention his fictional wife Ann Welzein. But that didn't stop tipsters from flooding us ...

Cornell Defender Sends Her Team To The Frozen Four On Dazzling Goal In Triple Overtime
Lauriane Rougeau sent Boston University packing, and the season high home crowd of 2,143 Cornell fans into hysterics, when she slipped this one past the goalie to end what amounted to two full games of hockey played. Cornell won the wild game, that featured a three-goal-comeback by each team, 8-7....

Mississippi Valley State Is Going Dancing
Congratulations to the Mississippi Valley State Delta Devils, who in beating Texas Southern 71-69 won the SWAC tournament and punched their ticket to the dance. [ESPNU]...

We Interrupt This Report On Performing Breast Self-Exams To Bring You Stalker Video Of Peyton Manning's Plane
Denver station KMGH had no qualms interrupting a program on breast health to bring viewers the urgent news that Peyton Manning's plane had arrived in the Mile High City so Manning could continue meeting with Broncos staff. Citing Manning as "the greatest free agent of all time, at this moment," K...

Cockblocked By Cancer!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. ...

495 Degrees Per Second: How Olympic Snowboarding Gold Medalist Kelly Clark Hucks Herself
Kelly Clark is the two-time defending X Games Gold Medalist in Women's Superpipe. She won gold in Salt Lake in '02 and bronze in Vancouver in 2010. At the 2011 X Games she became the first woman to land a 1080 in competition. The 30th U.S. Open Snowboarding Championships are going on right now, and ...
![The Mark Cuban Gay Joke ESPN Doesn't Want You To Hear [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
The Mark Cuban Gay Joke ESPN Doesn't Want You To Hear [UPDATE]
For two days, Cuban vs. Simmons was billed as the marquee event at last weekend's MIT Sloan Sports Analytic Conference, sponsored by ESPN. It certainly didn't disappoint as the two took the stage late Saturday and engaged in an hour-long discussion ranging from the NBA lockout to how teams can eng...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Persistente
This is a feature where we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

The Pirates Are Considering Adding The Sid Bream Nightmare To Fans' Daily Listening Experience
Having to watch the Pittsburgh Pirates play baseball every night just isn't enough punishment, apparently. Now Pirates fans might get a nightly reminder of the one moment most of them can't bring themselves to discuss without staring off into the distance and cursing incoherently about somebody name...

<i>Silent House</i> And The Rise Of The Gimmicky Horror Movie
On Friday, the horror movie Silent House comes out. One of its selling points is that it stars Elizabeth Olsen—who was terrific last year in a very different sort of horror film, Martha Marcy May Marlene—but probably the hook that will be most intriguing to genre fans is that the whole movie takes p...

Hear Al Swearengen Sing Your Favorite '80s Hits
Before he was winning awards for his portrayal of foul-mouthed saloon owner Al Swearengen on Deadwood, Ian McShane was just another middling English actor who had once put out an album of '80s power ballads....

Lionel Messi Is The First To Ever Score Five Goals In A Champions League Match
Barcelona made easy work of Leverkusen in the return leg of their UEFA Champions League round of 16 series, winning 7-1 (10-2 aggregate)—but it was another night to celebrate Lionel Messi, who became the first player to ever score five goals in one Champions League match and the 11th in the histo...

Excerpts From The Long-Lost Script For <em>Monday Night Football: The Cartoon</em>
So total at the time was Cosell's saturation of culture that Irwin Weiner, an ABC Sports vice president for twenty years, once came up with a concept for a Saturday morning kids' series called "Monday Night Football: The Cartoon", one that would turn Cosell, Gifford and Meredith into animated charac...

Clint Dempsey Is Officially Too Good For Fulham
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Cop Claims His Mississippi State Fan Boss Fired Him Because He Talked About MSU Player's Arrest
This one's kind of involved, so let's follow the bouncing Bulldog:...

The Guy From The Dropkick Murphys Would Like You To Know He Didn't Really Say Jonathan Papelbon Couldn't Use His Entrance Music
Yesterday, ESPN Music(?!) reported that Ken Casey, vocalist for the Dropkick Murphys, did not want Jonathan Papelbon using his old entrance song. That song, "I'm Shipping Up To Boston," is reserved for the Red Sox closer, Casey supposedly said, and now that Papelbon is in Philadelphia, he's no longe...

Dave Duerson Had Less Than $20,000 In Assets When He Committed Suicide
Dave Duerson was a millionaire and a successful CEO after the conclusion of his 11-year NFL career. But when he shot himself in the heart last year, leaving behind a note that asked his family to donate his brain for dementia testing, Duerson was going through bankruptcy proceedings. He owed hundred...

The Dropkick Murphys Won't Let Jonathan Papelbon Use His Old Entrance Music (Update)
For the longest time (or at least since The Departed made it famous), Jonathan Papelbon has been entering to the bagpipes-and-guitars opening riff of the Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up To Boston." It made sense. The song is instantly recognizable, catchy, and it's about Boston....

In The 1985 NBA Finals, A Respectful Boston Garden Applauded An Injured Laker. Not Young Bill Simmons.
Game six, the deciding game of the Lakers' 1985 championship, saw Los Angeles's Michael Cooper carried to the dressing room with an injury. Despite the rivalry, most of the Boston fans gave Cooper a nice hand. But 15-year-old Bill Simmons, sitting in the fourth row from the court, merely waved—th...

Nets Owner Loses Russian Presidential Election Thanks To "Fucking Fuckwits"
It was a long cold Sunday for New Jersey Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov, who decided a few months ago to challenge Vladimir Putin in the 2012 Russian presidential election. Nyet, Prokhorov! Nyet! As we've noted before, Putin is not only strong leader who crush enemy like Black Sea mosquito but also ma...