soccer Page 127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bayern Munich Concede Eight Seconds Into Match
Bayern Munich is one of the world’s top soccer clubs, but the record they broke today is one they’d rather forget as Hoffenheim’s Kevin Volland scored eight seconds into the match—the fastest in Bundesliga history. ...
Reluctant Mascot Is Reluctant
We don’t blame you, kid. Nobody wants to shake a referee’s hand. ...
Kim Little Finishes Hat Trick By Making Mincemeat Of Houston Defense
Kim Little had all three goals in tonight’s Seattle win over Houston, and her final one in the 90th minute was a Messian work of art as the Scot sliced and diced a tired Dash defense....
Borussia Dortmund Go Down Three Goals, Shrug, Score Four, Win
Once-great, now-good lunchpail German side Borussia Dortmund opened up their Europa League campaign away to some team from Norway aptly named Odds BK. August NIT games don’t impress us much, especially against teams from Norway, but Odds came out and scored 13 seconds into the dang match!...
Look At This Dumb Dog That Thinks It Can Play Soccer
Newsflash, buddy: you aren’t people. And soccer’s for people, not dogs....
San José Opens Supercopa Scoring With Strike From Midfield
Athletic Bilbao took a surprising 1-0 lead on Barcelona in today’s first leg of the Spanish Supercopa with San José catching Marc-Andre ter Stegen off his line after an attempted clearance and launching a strike from inside the center circle....
Costa Rica Manager Resigns After Brawling With Security Guard At Match
As expected, Costa Rica national team manager Paulo Wanchope resigned today, one day after he got into a videotaped brawl with a security guard at an Olympic qualifier. According to the Tico Times, Wanchope remorsefully said “We’re all human and sometimes we can lose our senses, and yesterday I lost...
Costa Rica Coach Paulo Wanchope Exchanges Blows With Man At U-23 Match
Costa Rica and Panama’s U-23 teams met in Panama City Tuesday night as part of qualifying for the 2016 Olympics in Rio. The match ended in a scoreless draw, and the real fireworks came after the final whistle blew. As recorded by Panamanian journalist Jhony Mosquera, that’s Costa Rican head coach Pa...
Dutch Goalie Scores Insane Backheel Stoppage Time Equalizer
One of the most fun little moments in a soccer match is a corner kick or free kick with the game almost over, and the attacking team either tied or down a goal. Their towering goalkeeper comes jogging up the field to join the fray, and the ball is pumped into the middle of literally 20 players where...
West Ham Fan Keeps Word, Gets Ass Tattoo To Commemorate Win Over Arsenal
Arsenal, this year’s sexy pick to Do Some Things in England’s Premier League this year, kicked off their campaign yesterday at home against West Ham. What follows is a story in two tweets:...
Soccer Player's Butt Healed By Magic Spray
“Become a soccer physio,” they said. “It’s an easy job,” they said. “You’ll never have to coat a player’s ass in cold spray in a stadium full of people,” they said....
Sports Are More Fun When People Are In Pain
What an incredible sport. ...
¡Qué Golazo!
Ajax pounded AZ Alkmaar 3-0 today as could probably be expected, led by a brace from Anwar El Ghazi, the first strike of which was this absolute ace....
Liverpool Beat Stoke Thanks To Lightning Strike From Coutinho
Philippe Coutinho’s rocket from outside the box proved to be the deciding goal in today’s 1-0 Liverpool win over Stoke, and is more likely than not to hold up as the Premiership’s golazo of the opening week....
Leicester City Player Calls Man "Jap" At Casino, Apologizes
Leicester City are at it again. Striker Jamie Vardy was caught on camera at a Leicester casino On July 26th repeatedly calling a man “jap” because he thought he was looking over his shoulder at his cards. He has since apologized for the incident, but the club are investigating. Vardy started and sco...
League One Team Accidentally Scores, Allows Opponent To Score On Them
That’s the manager of Doncaster Rovers explaining why his team intentionally allowed a player from the opposing team to dribble down the field and score. ...
Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...
The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...
The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...