soccer Page 131 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The USWNT Can Beat Germany
So here we are, at the semifinals of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. There have been upsets, trash talk, and general FIFA-inflicted incompetence. After Germany escaped France last weekend, and the United States of America triumphed over China, this match between the world’s two top-ranked teams pro...
Inept FIFA Forces Women's World Cup Opponents To Share Hotel
Numerous times during the preparation for and staging of the 2015 Women’s World Cup, FIFA has made it clear that they don’t really give a shit about the women or teams involved. Here is another example. ...
FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit
Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that...
Andrea Pirlo Attends NYCFC-Red Bulls Match, Is Enjoying Himself
Sex bomb Andrea Pirlo is rumored to be signing soon to play in MLS with NYCFC, and the Italian heartthrob showed up at Yankee Stadium today to watch his new side take on their crosstown rivals. We’re not totally sure this GIF is safe for work. ...
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
MLS Gets It Together; Real Salt Lake Score Fantastic Goal
We told MLS to get it together. They did, quickly....
French Player Slams FIFA: "They Have To Stop Taking Us For Idiots"
As undeniably awesome as last night’s France-Germany match was, it was complete and utter bullshit that these two teams were forced to meet in the quarterfinals. Far from being an unforeseen, unlucky occurrence, this is exactly as FIFA planned it. And France’s Camille Abily, for one, is none too hap...
France Built The World's Best Women's Soccer Team And Still Lost
Not even a minute into last night’s highly-anticipated, criminally-premature title fight that was France vs. Germany, Les Bleues were off on one of their typical jaunts towards goal, one that exemplified everything that makes them such a special team....
Spain's Women's Team Is A Catastrophe, And It Doesn't Need To Be
In the week since the players for the Spanish women’s national team released their open letter requesting the firing of manager Ignacio Quereda, more and more has come to light about just how officious and reprehensible his leadership has been over the entirety of his 27 years in charge....
Sepp Blatter Out Here Like "Hold Up. Who Said Anything About <i>Resigning</i>?"
Is Sepp Blatter just insane or what? That’s about the only question that comes to mind when you hear that, yes, as reports hinted at a couple weeks ago, ol’ Sepp doesn’t actually plan on relinquishing his grasp of the FIFA presidency any time soon—this time coming from the man himself....
Evil Soccer Man Sticks His Fingers Up Opponent's Butthole
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world....
Japan Scored The Best WWC Goal I've Ever Seen With My Own Two Eyes
This is just, wow....
The USWNT Must Evolve Or Die
This time last year, Brazil were capping off a fairly up-and-down group stage of the 2014 World Cup on home soil. The tournament favorites, whose fans had been planning the impending victory celebration practically since the moment FIFA announced them as hosts, had at times impressed, and at others ...
Landon Donovan's Goal Was The Start Of Something Great
As we wait with increasingly dwindling patience for the U.S. women to get their shit together, I thought we could all do with some happy America fuzzy-memory time. June 23, 2010, five years ago today, Landon Donovan’s World Cup stoppage-time goal saved the USMNT from elimination, won them the group,...
Wambach Blows PK After Colombian Keeper Sent Off; U.S. Score Anyway
Abby Wambach botched a penalty kick awarded after Colombian keeper Catalina Pérez earned a red card for bringing Alex Morgan down on the inside edge of the box, and a lackluster performance by the U.S. seemed to have its lacklustiest moment until a lucky break when Morgan snuck one past replacement ...
England Fight Back Against Norway, Advance With Late Thunderbastard Goal
If you’re going to send a country home, this is how you send them on their way....
HURR I'm The Sun
Scottish soccer team Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot this morning. It’s that. Why....
MLS, Everybody!
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....
Australia Shock Brazil, Knock Them Out Of The World Cup With Late Goal
Holy shit. Holy shit! Brazil are out of the World Cup! Australia are through to the quarterfinals!...