soccer Page 294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
All Announcers Should Be Like This Guy
As The Beautiful Game notes, if Joe Buck were more like this, we'd never hit mute on our television again....
Dispatching Of the Swedes
Brad Guzan took full advantage of his opportunity on the big stage. The young American keeper was outstanding in America's shutout win against a fairly well-stocked Swedish national team. Eddie Robinson earned his first cap at the age of 29 and capitalized almost immediately with the match's first g...
Getting Friendly With the Swedes
The United States Men's National Team is back in action tonight at 8:30 in an international friendly against Sweden, and that means good soccer and sexy women. Tonight's contest is being held in Carson, California, so we're going to be in for a heavier dose of the puritanical American fans. Since w...
Adebayor Leads Arsenal Past Fulham
Emmanuel Adebayor's pair of headers gave the Gunners a comfortable cushion over a downtrodden Fulham side. It was another example of the Gunners playing in an un-Arsenal-like style, but they accomplished the task with ease. Tomas Rosicky added to the scoring sheet with a goal off of a volley to make...
All Hail The Loathsome Ronaldo
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Who Are We? "The Blues!" Who Are We Gonna Beat? "The Blues!"
There doesn't seem to be a bevy of interesting games — even for soccer fans! — save for one game, Man City and Everton. They're separated by a mere three points at the top of the standings "tables," and Man City hasn't lost a game "match" to anyone recently except Tottenham. That kind of consistency...
Here At Deadspin, We Don't Just Inform, We Uplift
Because it's Daulerio's last column, and the level of discourse is about to elevated dramatically, we thought we'd toss a little scatty humor in your general direction....
The Burnley Bee Will Not Tolerate Nakedness
Look, from now on, when a costumed bee tackles a naked man during an English League soccer match — and then does about a half-hour Bee Victory Dance to celebrate the feat — I want to be informed immediately. I'm just seeing this now? Inexcusable. Hirshey, or someone, will pay. Now, on with the show....
One Man's Very Special 25th Birthday
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
David Beckham Secure In His Manhood/Wears Ballet Shoes
Yes dammit, David Beckham is a metrosexual. Let him shout it from the rooftops! At last he is free, FREE! La la la la la la (skips away, stripping off clothing). In an interview on British radio on Monday, Beckham not only said that he is proud to be a gay icon, but that his wife dresses him. Oh, th...
When The Refs Have Guns, We All Win
You know what American sports need? They need to start arming the referees....
ManU's Very High Ankle Sprains
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. This column would have run Monday, but no one was reading the site on Monday....
The MLS Cup Could Be Yours
The Houston Dynamo — or Dynamos; whatever — won the MLS Cup Trophy earlier this year. Way to go, guys; we're happy for you. In a way to try to promote the league and team, the Dynamo has decided to temporarily auction off the trophy....
Sadly, This Still Won't Get You A Date With A Supermodel
If you're like me, you're constantly wondering "what would Kige Ramsey's name be if he were a Brazilian soccer star?" Well, wonder no more: Answer: "Kigildo." Isiah Thomas is also fun to put in there ("Fire Thomisco!"), as is Mike Golic. Golito! It's all thanks to Brazilname, the online name genera...
Nailing 'Em In The Swingers
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Grand Slam Sunday
Apparently it's like the Super Bowl of soccer on the other side of the pond today. Yeah, news to me too! Dubbed Grand Slam Sunday by the Brits, we just had Liverpool and Manchester United in the first match — final score: Man. U 1-0 — with Arsenal versus Chelsea in the second installment. In fact, t...
Meet The Brand New Face Of English Soccer
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
ESPN Ready For European Invasion
We haven't talked to Hirshey about this, but we're sure it's gonna make him find something tall to jump off of: ESPN is looking to buy broadcast rights to the English Premier League....
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
A Full Weekend Of Losing
David Hirshey writes regular for Deadspin about soccer....