soccer Page 80 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer Match Interrupts Security Guard's Very Important Phone Call
We’ve all been there, trying to have a phone conversation at a desk in a room when all of a sudden something like a school class breaks out around us and we’re getting yelled at as if we’re the jerks. ...
David Silva's New Hairdo Bums Me Out
Hair loss, like death, is coming for us all. No matter how strong your genes are, life eventually steals your flowing locks and turns them white, or, worse yet, takes them altogether. You can fight it, but nature always wins. Which brings us to Manchester City attacker David Silva....
English Women's National Soccer Player Accuses Coach Of Racism<em></em>
A player on the English women’s national soccer team, Eni Aluko, received a settlement earlier this year from the Football Association after she accused the coach, Mark Sampson, and other staff members of “bullying and harassment.” Aluko received £80,000 despite the fact that the FA said they found ...
Jack Wilshere Is Back On The Pitch, Back To Getting Dumb Red Cards
Jack Wilshere, the oldest 25-year-old in history, is still on the path to recovery after an injury he picked up on loan at Bournemouth last season. To warm up for the new campaign, Wilshere played in Arsenal’s U-23 match against Manchester City today. He put on a quintessentially Wilsherean show, pi...
Manchester United Have That Old Swagger Back
Last year, Manchester United were a team full of hesitant superstars who punched below their weight and only redeemed a shoddy sixth-place finish by winning the Europa League. Expensive debutante Paul Pogba wasn’t the sort of immediate world-beater so many people (unfairly) thought he’d be, and the ...
Bournemouth Player Prevents Possible Goal Using Nothing But His Voice
Saturday’s Bournemouth-Watford game featured a curious incident when Nathaniel Chalobah, in perfect position to score, ran up to and right on past the ball seemingly for no good reason. Thanks to the fine folks at the BBC’s Match of the Day, we now know that this wasn’t an inexplicable brain fart on...
Christian Pulisic Kicks Off The Bundesliga Season Like A Superstar
Every time I worry the American soccer press (Deadspin included) is being too hyperbolic in their praise and general hype for Christian Pulisic, he goes and assuages those fears with a marvelous performance. Consider today’s Bundesliga opener, which comes amid Ousmane Dembele’s transfer saga as well...
How Barcelona's Scramble To Replace Neymar Might Send Christian Pulisic To The Stars<em></em>
It wasn’t really supposed to happen like this. French teen sensation Kylian Mbappé was slated to be this summer’s headlining transfer, with the usual suspects in Madrid, Paris, and Barcelona fighting over the right to pay one-sixth of a billion dollars for his signature. Instead, Neymar somehow went...
Chelsea's Manager Can't Stop Laughing At Diego Costa
A few days ago, Diego Costa let some wandering Daily Mail reporter into his home in Brazil and proceeded to lay out in considerable, hilarious detail just how fed up he is with how Chelsea and the manager, Antonio Conte, who Costa says “lacks charisma,” have treated him. Today Conte himself was aske...
How Not To React When Your Team Gives Up A Goal
Everton hosted Croatian side Hajduk Split for a Europa League qualifier this afternoon, which meant that hundreds of Hajduk fans traveled to Liverpool for the game. They appeared to be ready to get rowdy before the match, and they delivered once things started. Everton’s Michael Keane (no apparent r...
Champions League Coverage Set To Get Fucked The Same Way EPL Coverage Has
In their infinite wisdom, NBC recently saw fit to take a good and beloved Premier League broadcast strategy and make it bad and hated by cleaving its once-unified televised and streaming services into two smaller and less satisfying parts, and charging for each separately. Turner, which recently bou...
Arsène Wenger Is Sorry For All The Times He Made Arsenal Fans Cry
Arsène Wenger often talks about managing Arsenal the way old couples talk about marriage, or how parents talk about raising kids, or how other old couples talk about saying to hell with their marriage and the kids and getting a divorce—that is, he describes it as hard, thankless work that for the mo...
Marco Asensio Just Wrecked Barcelona So Hard They Should Just Shut Down The Club
Here lies FC Barcelona, a formerly famed and hallowed soccer club that not too long ago was on the top of the world but through the capriciousness of one of its ex-stars, the borderline criminal mismanagement of those charged with run it, and the ruthlessly cruel manner in which their rivals Real Ma...
Ronaldo Calls Five-Match Suspension For Shoving Ref "Persecution"
After Real Madrid’s appeal of Cristiano Ronaldo’s five-match suspension for shoving a referee was denied today, the Portuguese star whined about the decision on social media, writing, “It’s impossible to stay quiet in this situation, five matches! To me it seems exaggerated and ridiculous, this is w...
What Will Everton Actually Get From Gylfi Sigurdsson?
After weeks and weeks of speculation, rumors, and false starts, it looks like Everton are finally getting their man. According to the BBC, the Toffees have agreed to a £45 million fee for Swansea midfielder Gylfi Sigurdsson. So now what?...
Reporter Accidentally Gets Jürgen Klopp To Talk About Losing His Virginity
Liverpool are currently playing the first leg of a Champions League playoff round, and things got unexpectedly sexy during manager Jürgen Klopp’s pregame press conference....
The Good Little Teams (And Chelsea): Our 2017-18 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
As everyone knows, the best thing about the Premier League is its absurd depth. In England you have an entire country where practically every single town worships their local club with an intensity that makes Nebraska’s passion for Cornhusker football look like Nebraska’s passion for Cornhusker socc...
Diego Costa Is Hanging Out At Home And Talking Shit About Chelsea
The highlight of the first full weekend of hot Premier League action was not Manchester United flushing West Ham down the toilet, Wayne Rooney rescuing Everton, nor American ex-pat community Huddersfield Town winning their debut Premier League match 3-0. No, it was Antonio Conte’s Chelsea side eatin...
The Fun As Hell Teams: Our 2017-18 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
My colleague Patrick Redford already laid out which Premier League clubs to watch when you’re trying to take a nap; so unless you enjoy soccer’s equivalent of eating your way through a tub of raw broccoli, steer clear of those guys (except Everton) and allow me to tell which clubs are going to be fu...
Philippe Coutinho Stars In The Hit New Transfer Soap Opera Of The Summer
We all laughed and cried together at every unpredictable twist during the summer’s preeminent melodrama known as NeyWatch, and we were sad to see it end. Luckily for us, that saga was such a hit that it has led to a spin-off series starring a couple of the same characters—namely Barcelona and Philip...