soccer Page 81 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Soccer Team Scores Before It Touches The Ball
It is Friday, my dudes, and it couldn’t have come soon enough. Maybe you’ve spent all week like Paide in the Estonian Cup clip up above, kicking around in your own end, measuring your options, looking to push forward but mostly dithering back and forth, eventually torpedoing your own cause and wond...
What The Heck Is Going On At Tottenham Hotspur?
On Thursday, just three days before Tottenham Hotspur’s Premier League season opener and three weeks before the summer transfer window closes, the worst newspaper in England published a shocking interview with Tottenham’s 27-year-old star left back Danny Rose, horrifying Spurs supporters the world o...
England's Worst, Most Snooze-Worthy Teams: Our 2017-18 Premier League Preview, Pt. 1
Some watch the Premier League for the artistry and high-level play that only megastars like Alexis Sánchez and Eden Hazard can provide. Others watch for the drama of stressed-out, egomaniacal coaches yelling at everyone—at each other, at the referees, at God, at the sport itself, at their players, a...
MLS's Anti-Ambition Disease Is Now Infecting Mexicans
Back when MLS was primarily a retirement league where the geriatric greats of the good leagues in Europe could count on a fat check to jog circles around a collection of useless American never-wills until they got too bored and formally retired, the league was a sorry spectacle, to be sure, but most...
Please Stop Sending Marouane Fellaini This Photo Of Him Getting Hit In The Face By A Ball
Because of a perfectly placed ball to Manchester United’s Marouane Fellaini and some impeccable timing by AP photographer Boris Grdanoski at the UEFA Super Cup, the world has been blessed with this holy image of the beautiful game....
Is Gareth Bale Even Worth It?
Gareth Bale, once the assumed heir to Cristiano Ronaldo’s throne at Real Madrid, is now at risk of becoming an afterthought. Acquired from Tottenham in 2013 for a then-record transfer fee, Bale has only topped 30 La Liga appearances once in four seasons for Real Madrid. True, he has been as good as ...
Gerard Deulofeu Might Be The Luckiest Bastard Alive
Yesterday, Barcelona played tragedy-stricken Brazilian club Chapecoense (you may remember them as the team involved in that awful plane crash last winter) in the Joan Gamper Trophy match. This match, hosted annually at Barcelona’s Camp Nou, is a friendly and thus doesn’t mean all that much in the gr...
Slaving, Terrorism-Supporting Country's Wildly Expensive PR Campaign Is Far From Over
Qatar is a tiny, obscenely wealthy country/U.S. military base in the Persian Gulf that has, justifiably so, become synonymous of late with dynastic oligarchism, shameless venality, modern-day slavery, and financial support for Islamist terrorism. This, it probably goes without saying, isn’t quite t...
Didier Drogba Scores Great Goal Against Scrubbiest Scrubs Imaginable
Technically, this is still a highlight because it’s Didier Drogba scoring an absolute scorcher of a free kick from way far out that probably would’ve flown into the net had he been back in a Chelsea shirt facing like Jordan Pickford or something. However, it’s also kind of a lowlight because it’s Di...
Christian Pulisic Starts His Season Off By Embarrassing Bayern Munich
America’s Wonderteen, Christian Pulisic, scored the opener of the German Super Cup for Dortmund against Bayern today, dispossessing a concerningly louche Javi Martinez and easily finishing....
Robbie Keane Goes To The Indian Super League
Atlético de Kolkata of the Indian Super League just signed the newest ISL player that soccer fans have actually heard of—Robbie Keane, the 37-year-old Irish striker most famous for his long-term stints at Tottenham Hotspur and the LA Galaxy, as well as his decade as captain of the Republic of Irelan...
Is MLS A Ponzi Scheme?
If like any red-blooded American capitalist you measure success by growth, these are boom times for Major League Soccer. North America’s top soccer league has gone from just 10 teams in 2004 to a whopping 22, with two more clubs in Los Angeles and Miami set to come online in the couple of seasons. A...
NeyWatch: Neymar Has Officially Signed With Paris Saint-Germain
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
NeyWatch: Somehow, This Has Gotten Even More Ludicrous
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
FC Cincinnati Continue Their Thrilling, Surprising U.S. Open Cup Run
Tonight’s most compelling American soccer match was a little tricky to find, but it was well worth your investment. In the quarterfinals of the U.S. Open Cup—which pits teams at all levels of American soccer against each other in a single-elimination format—FC Cincinnati beat the Miami 1-0 off a Bay...
NeyWatch: No More Neymar For Barcelona
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
Of Course Daniel Sturridge Hurt Himself Scoring
Daniel Sturridge is generally very good when he’s healthy, but unfortunately, he’s almost never healthy. The annual Sturridge injury came again Tuesday during a friendly, right when the English striker should have been celebrating....
NeyWatch: Barcelona's Players Reportedly Sick And Tired Of The Neymar Bullshit
Welcome to NeyWatch, a series in which we catch up with the daily, often contradictory updates on the hottest story of the summer....
Freddy Adu Gets Owned By His Potential New Boss
Freddy Adu’s long and winding tour through the obscure leagues of Europe has now taken him to Poland, where newcomers to the Ekstraklasa, Sandecja Nowy Sącz, are potentially about to sign him following a medical....
Adorable Little Doggie Mascots Are The Best Mascots
Usually soccer teams come out onto the pitch accompanied by little kids, which is cute and all, I guess. As precious as star-struck children can be, though, they don’t compare to these sweet adoptable pups Chilean team Colo-Colo came out with this weekend:...