steroids Page 29 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Clemens Survives ... For Now
Well, it's 5:30, and no announcement from Selig and company about steroids suspensions as has been widely rumored. We're keeping an eye out, but, of course, we'll just ask Michael Kay about it, if we have to....

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... · You can bet on Dontrelle Willis, or you can just take a nap at lunch. · Hey, look, you can bet on the Little League World Series. That's making the world a better place. · Time to bet on...

College: Let's Bring In The Steroids Guy!
Baseball Musings points out a story we hadn't noticed (though it's still early in the morning): Jason Giambi's trainer is the new strength coach for alls ports at the University of Cal-Santa Barbara. Baseball Musings finds this worriesome, to say the least:...

The Day Of Rumor Reckoning
Well, today's the day. The Interweb has been all abuzz with rumors for days now that Roger Clemens/Johnny Damon/Gary Sheffield were about to be squashed under the steroid hammer of MLB. The Web was so a-twitter about everything that even the dinosaur print reporters noticed what was going on. (Dan...

When Will Raffy Return?
Orioles roid rager — exclusive term! MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro was eligible to return last night but did not play. The Orioles are reportedly considering keeping him out of the lineup until after this weekend's series so he won't be booed by home fans....

Get Thee Away, A-Rod!
While totally not being the subject of tons of rumors right now — absolutely not, how could you say that? — Yankees bitch-slapper Alex Rodriguez was turned away from snotty NYC hotspot Club Macanudo because he was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. He should have been wearing a skirt. Actually, are we ...

Welcome Back, Raffy!
Well, tonight is the night that Orioles 'roid monster — that's a Deadspin special moniker, by the way; MUST CREDIT DEADSPIN! — Rafael Palmeiro is eligible to return from his 10-day suspension for steroids. Currently, Orioles manager Sam Perlozzo says Palmeiro is not likely to play tonight, and th...

Rick Reilly: The New Henny Youngman
We know he wins Sportswriter of the Year all the time. We know he has some clever ideas from time to time, including that great "I'm in the car behind Lance Armstrong" thing from a couple of weeks ago. But when Sports Illustrated back-pager Rick Reilly mails it in, he's like worst Borscht belt co...

Have You Seen This Man's Testicles?
In the new issue of Playboy, Jose Canseco's ex-wife Jessica — who poses nude in the magazine, because that's what Playboy does, it shows pictures of naked people — gives us a rather detailed description of the 'roided sluggers' genitals. Feel free to look away now....

Get Ready: Another 'Roid Name Is Coming
Orioles roid head — that's a new name we're trying out; great, ain't it? — Rafael Palmeiro is scheduled to return to the Orioles tomorrow after serving his 10-day suspension for steroids. But many observers aren't sure he'll come back at all; Congress is still investigating him, some of the Oriol...

Bonds Won't Be Back, Though Site Still Remains
Well, according to the impartial journalists at MLB.com, Giants monster Barry Bonds will not return this season, which, considering the current climate, probably isn't the worst idea, though ESPN stalker Pedro Gomez has to be disappointed. As has been the case of late, we remain surprised that Bo...

We Are Not Going To Make A Viagra Joke, And Frankly, You Shouldn't Either
Palmeiro Docked 10 Days For Steroids [ESPN]...

Luis Alicea Will Pee For You
Former St. Louis Cardinals infielder Luis Alicea is now the manager of the Lowell Spinners, the Class A minor league affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. Last week, the Spinners were selected for random steroid testing. Alicea says the test wasn't too tough....

Tom Verducci Cleans Up His Own Mess
This week's Sports Ilustrated cover story — apparently SI.com has a magazine? — is about "the incredible shrinking slugger." The writer of this story is, of course, Tom Verducci, whose front page interview with Ken Caminiti three years ago got this whole ball rolling. Wouldn't it be hysterical if so...

Hey Fans, Come Pee In A Cup!
In the tradition of wacky minor league promotions everywhere, the Sioux Falls Canaries held a BALCO Be Gone promotion last night. All fans who arrived were given a free specimen cup and were tested for steroids throughout the game. (No word on how many fans ended up juiced.) They also had other g...

The Notorious Punter
Todd Sauerbrun has always made a little too much news for a punter. It started when the Bears made him a second-round draft pick, which was a totally good idea, really. Then he was accused of taking steroids prescribed by Panthers team doctors. Then he was involved in some hot punter-on-punter tr...

Put That Coffee DOWN
As Sinead O'Connor once said: "Fight the real enemy." In this case, the World Anti-Doping Agency says that enemy is coffee. The agency head, the unfortunately named Dick Pound, says the agency is considering putting caffeine on the banned substances list. Apparently the Australian Institute of Sport...

Congressional Steroids Diary: My God, There's More Hearing Tomorrow
1:28 p.m.: Sonny Bono s widow is telling Donald Fehr a story about a high school student she knows who was so strong that he pulled his finger off while swinging a bat. That actually just occurred, right? Might have been a mass hallucination....

Congressional Steroids Diary: Limping, Bleeding Into The Afternoon
11:26 a.m.: Say what you will about the guy, but Don Fehr is no wuss. He just went through each point of the proposed anti-steroid bill and trashed pretty much all of them. Fortunately, he was followed by the commissioner of a league that doesn t really exist right now, so no one will remember....

Congressional Steroids Diary: The First Hour
10:10 a.m.: Representative Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) says that sports values performance more than character. No!...