tex Page 95 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Time for Sunday Night Football in U.S. America (This Time on Sunday!)
After getting through Thursday night's season kick-off with John Madden only drawing one penis on the screen, Eli Manning is hoping he'll pick up the slack for this evening's tilt, as Manning's Giants travel to Texas Stadium to wage battle in a manner most NFC East with the Cowboys....
Herm Edwards, 0-1, The Way God Intended
I think we were pretty sure that Cleveland wouldn't rock this year, and New England smashing the Jets this year shouldn't really surprise anybody. And even Minnesota blowing out a Harrington-led Falcon team shouldn't raise too many eyebrows... ...
Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...
It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...
What's The Next Scrotum-Ripping Situation To Happen Between Rival Sports Fans?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
The Appropriate Way To Showcase Your Team Loyalty
We're still a month and a half from the ole Red River rivalry game between Oklahoma and Texas, and, as always, emotions are running high. How high? Oh, "bust open the opposing fan's scrotum" high. (That's pretty high.)...
Those 30-Run Rallies Will Kill You Every Time
Little did you know that when you watched Maracaibo, Venezuela beat the Netherlands, 21-2 in the Little League World Series on Tuesday, that it wouldn't be the most embarrassing wipeout of week. Meet your 2007 Baltimore Orioles, who lost 30-3 to the Texas Rangers on Wednesday. For Texas, it was the...
NFL Season Preview: Houston Texans
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
A Bug's Life, If That Bug Is Named John Holmes
The world has long pined for the answer to life's perpetual mystery: Is a Rangers-Orioles game more boring than watching flies screw? Well, an astute reader and his friend attended such a baseball game last night, and saw two horseflies gettin' down and procreating. Judging by these two fans' fixat...
All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...
Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....
Baseball Remains Very Good To Sammy Sosa
As the last smidgen of interleague play fades from our consciousness — and we'll never forget that magical June of 2007! — we lament, for a moment, that tonight's Rangers-Cubs game will be played in Arlington rather than at Wrigley. We would love to see how Sammy Sosa's homecoming to the Friendly Co...
Some Honest To Goodness Father's Day Sentimentality
As is becoming custom on holidays designed to honor parents, the Ladies... have some outstanding posts up for your reading pleasure today. Texas Gal shares a lovely story about her love of the Texas Longhorns, her father, and how she got to take him to Vince Young's national championship triumph....
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
The Number 30 Is Worth A House
The sale of jersey numbers is a time-honored tradition in sports. A team will sign or trade for a star free-agent, and some other scrub on the roster is already wearing the number that said star has worn his entire career ... and the star will pay the scrub tens of thousands of dollars for his numbe...
Nothing's Scarier Than Texas High School Football
It's about that time of day when we remind you just how terrifying Texas high school football is. This is from Southlake Carroll High School near Dallas/Ft. Worth, where certain fans camped out all night just to pay $90 seat licenses (that doesn't even count the tickets) for four high school footbal...
The Disrespect Of Brady Quinn Continues
With the 10th pick of the NFL Draft, the Houston Texans select Amobi Okoye, DT, Louisville. Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders tells you all about it....
Pacman, Mario Both Deeply Apologize, Sort Of
It's a morning of apologies around the world of the NFL. First off, our main man Pac Man Jones took out a full page ad in The Tennessean saying, you know, sorry about that whole suspension thing....