this-is-so-stupid Page 4 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dang, I Guess They Have "Oat Milk" Now?
All the time, people (editors, for example) are insisting that blogs have to have “a point” or must be “about something”; they are saying things like “Bert, what is this blog” and “I honestly forgot you worked here until just now and I think I preferred it that way.” That’s just how it is for all of...
No Offense, But Adam Ottavino Would Make Babe Ruth Look Like A Sack Of Pig Assholes<em></em>
There might be a couple of outliers, but for the most part, current players in any major sport would easily defeat the sport’s early legends. It’s not their fault. The older dudes were the best of their era—and some of those eras still had the color line—but they would not be the best in a later era...
Steph Curry Pulls Up From 238,900 Miles, Denies Moon Landing
Over the weekend, the Chang’e-4 spacecraft took flight from Sichaun province in China. It is bound for the far side of the Moon. The craft is expected to touch down early next month, becoming the first ever to “soft-land” on the far side. Where does Steph Curry think the craft is headed?...
Reports: Tenshin Nasukawa To Box American In Exhibition Match
According to reports, Japanese kickboxing prodigy Tenshin Nasukawa will be crossing over into another sport on New Year’s Eve, engaging in an exhibition match with a boxer at a Rizin card after weeks of back and forth over the promotional details. MMAFighting reporter Marc Raimondi has information a...
George H.W. Bush Happily Watching From Heaven As Houston Gets XFL Team, Says Dope<em></em>
In a press conference on Tuesday afternoon, commissioner and chief executive of the XFL Oliver Luck announced the eight cities and venues that would serve as home sites for the league’s inaugural season in 2020: Dallas (Globe Life Park), Houston (TDECU Stadium), Los Angeles (StubHub Center), New Yor...
Good Job, Whoever's Doing These Beautifully Dumb Seahawks Videos
With the Legion of Boom falling apart—Kam Chancellor retired, Richard Sherman went to the 49ers, Earl Thomas was treated like shit then broke his leg and flipped off his sideline—the Seattle Seahawks looked like a team reaching the end of an era. To their credit, they’re 7-5 and in position for a pl...
Bills Fan Faces Stiff Punishment After Cops Pegged Him As Dildo-Thrower
Police were pretty hard on Florida man Michael Abdallah, 34, who was arrested for throwing a dildo on the field during the Patriots-Bills game on Monday. The cops reportedly used security camera footage and eyewitness accounts to grab Abdallah; then they squeezed him for $250 in cash or $1,000 in b...
Shaun White Earns Distinction For First Awful Celebrity Halloween Costume Of 2018
With an entire universe of Halloween costume options available to him—more established characters than you can count, tens of thousands of creepily sexed-up versions of those same characters, and infinite concoctions from his own imagination—Olympic snowboarder Shaun White landed on one that, detach...
Rick Pitino Wants To Coach In The NBA, Just As I Would Like To Harness The Terrifying Power Of The Oort Cloud
It appears that former Louisville head coach Rick Pitino called up ESPN insider Adrian Wojnarowski and told him that he’d like to once again coach in the NBA. Instead of saying, “Good luck with that, Rick, but I need to get off the phone because I’m quite busy,” Woj produced this article detailing P...
The Warriors Don't Give A Shit About Fergie's Feelings
The Golden State Warriors had a response to Fergie’s ex-husband, Josh Duhamel, calling Draymond Green a “prick” in the form of a semi-choreographed dance. The team celebrated a comeback road victory over the New York Knicks in the locker room with a remixed version of Fergie’s embarrassingly poor re...
Fergie's Ex-Husband Calls Out That "Prick" Draymond Green For Laughing At Her Dreadful Rendition Of The National Anthem
Before the start of the 2018 NBA All-Star game, Fergie uncorked a staggeringly bizarre rendition of what was supposedly the national anthem on an unsuspecting public. Like everyone else who heard it, Draymond Green had himself a chuckle, perhaps because he’d just witnessed a lady singing the word “w...
Did You Hear About This? The Giants Have Two Players Named Eli, And They Traded The Wrong Freakin' One!
Today, the New York Giants traded Eli ... cornerback Eli Apple, that is. Ah, did you think it’d be their once-great, now-disintegrating quarterback Eli Manning? Don’t you look like an ass, now! It was in fact their underwhelming defensive player, who’s going to the Saints for some late picks....
There Should Only Be Two Sports At A Time
Starting tonight, and running through the end of the month, all four major North American pro sports leagues will be playing real, actual, meaningful games. This is too much sports! No one can possibly have time to watch that much sports, let alone read about all of it, or, damn it, to write about a...
Which NBA Team Is Most Like Your Favorite NBA Team?
It’s almost time for the tip-off of the new basketball season, and you know what that means: It’s time to point out that not only does the NBA exist, but that other things also exist. A few outlets have already beaten us to the punch here, imagining NBA teams as rom-coms or TV shows or fake movies, ...
Patrick Mahomes At All Times Sounds Like He Just Ate A Big Bowl Of Chili
Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes has spent the first four weeks of the NFL season playing consciousness-expanding football—scrambling, improvisational, hyper-charismatic stuff. Four games make for a small sample, but if it is at all representative of the underlying talent, Mahomes will be doing bi...
This 84-Shot Rally At The Davis Cup Is Tennis Hell
Over the years and across dozens of blogs, Deadspin has tried to make a case for watching and enjoying tennis, the sport being played in last weekend’s Davis Cup rubber between France’s Nicolas Mahut and Spain’s Marcel Granollers....
By Popular Demand, Here Is 10 Minutes Of Edwin Encarnacion's Dinger Crack
Cleveland Indians slugger Edwin Encarnacion blasted a 422-foot, 108-mph dinger off helpless Rays pitcher Tyler Glasnow in the sixth inning of tonight’s game. The dong was towering and impressive, but the sound Encarnacion’s bat made as it connected with the ball is the main attraction of this highli...
Fancy Dog Tom Brady Is A Bad Dog!
Longtime Vikings trainer Fred Zamberletti died Sunday morning, at the age of 86. Zamberletti served in some capacity within the Vikings organization from 1961 to this year, holding down the job of senior consultant and team historian since 2002. Randy Moss, who started his Hall of Fame career with t...
The Saga Of Urban Meyer's Car Was The Dumbest Part Of A Ridiculous Day At Ohio State
A whole lot of nothing happened in Columbus for most of Wednesday as Ohio State’s Board of Trustees met to deliberate on the findings from the investigation into Urban Meyer’s handling of domestic violence allegations against his former assistant coach, Zach Smith. The meeting, which began at 9 a.m...
Does Anyone Remember Jim?
In February of 2017, at some conservative event in Maryland, Donald Trump said that Paris was a ruined city because too many brown and black people live there now. (I’m giving you the gist.) He attributed this opinion to his friend “Jim,” a “very, very substantial guy.” Is this jogging your memory?...