this Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kyrie Irving: "I’m Not Against Anyone That Thinks The Earth Is Round"<em></em>
“I mean, history has shown even back then, our biggest scholars did think the Earth was flat.”...

Fuck!!!!!! Shohei Ohtani Fucked Up His Fucking Arm!!!!!!
Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!...

A Dramatic Reading Of Bryan Colangelo's Resignation As GM Of The Philadelphia 76ers
Is this the stupidest thing we’ve ever put on the website? Uh, sound off in the comments I guess. I’m just really sorry about all this....

Conference USA Is Completely Revamping Its Conference Schedule Setup And It's Just Brilliant
Tired of low seeds and early exits from the NCAA tournament, Conference USA is ready to try something different....

After Just One Season Playing For The Knicks
Poor Enes Kanter. Once so youthful and sturdy, with a shock of the darkest, most luscious hair. Still just 26 years old, and now grey as a heavy November sky. Playing for the Knicks will age even the strongest of us prematurely, I guess....

The Dawn Staley-Missouri Beef Is Finally Over, And It Will Cost Mizzou $50,000
South Carolina women’s basketball head coach Dawn Staley settled her lawsuit against Missouri athletic director Jim Sterk on Thursday. The decision comes four months after Sterk went on a radio show and accused the Gamecocks coach of promoting a hostile fan atmosphere—back in January, when the two ...

Here Is My Super Cool Plan To Save <i>Kevin Can Wait</i>
According to a report from Jezebel (Gizmodo Media Group’s shark blog), hit CBS sitcom Kevin Can Wait has been canceled after two seasons and 48 laugh-packed episodes. This national travesty happened at some point in the last two weeks, but the loyal fan community of “Waiters” is already clamoring fo...

I Have A Very Good Idea That Will Fix Everything Wrong With American Pro Sports
Because we are not fools, we can all agree that there are two major problems currently plaguing, to various degrees, the four major sports leagues in North America: tanking and games that start way too damn late. I can fix this....

The Very Short Saga Of The Vladimir Guerrero Jr. Airport Picture
All right-thinking people on this planet and any others want to see Vladimir Guerrero Jr., who does very rude things to baseballs in very loud ways, called up to the majors as soon as possible. So you can imagine the excitement that was generated when Young Vlad posted this photo on Instagram:...

The Time Dave McKenna Accidentally Called 911 On A Guy Just Looking For His Craigslist Date
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share. ...

Dear Celtics, Please Unleash The All-Beef Lineup
Last night’s Game 1 between the Celtics and Sixers was a pretty good time. Terry Rozier looked like fuckin’ Chris Paul out there and Joel Embiid was unstoppable and Jayson Tatum did some cool whirly-bird moves that made me go, “Ooh! Nice!” But what I was most excited to see was the late-game introdu...

The All-Too-Brief Basketball Career Of Reggie Rose
On Monday night, TNT play-by-play man Kevin Harlan welcomed Reggie Rose to the NBA, excitedly shouting his name on several instances. Signed by the Timberwolves, Reggie Rose scored 17 points in a Game 4 loss to the Rockets, and somehow, in his NBA debut, already appeared to be on his last legs....

The NRA Got Mad About Coolers And Now People Are Shooting Coolers<em></em>
If you’ve spent any time in an REI or around outdoor enthusiasts of a certain economic stratum in the past several years, you have almost certainly encountered a YETI Coolers product. Their coolers are blocky, unconscionably heavy boxes that prevent ice from coming anywhere near melting, and they co...

Umpire Jerry Meals Is Small, Most Baseball Men Are Large: Physical Comedy Ensues
Umpire Jerry Meals is five feet eight inches tall. This is a perfectly respectable height, and one that has not kept him from achieving what we can presume was his lifelong dream of being a Major League umpire. Jerry Meals has made it. ...

How Stories About Mundane Things Taking Over Locker Rooms Took Over Sports Media<em></em>
If you’ve consumed even a tiny bit of sports media in the past few years, you’ve no doubt come across a particular kind of story. It’s a lighthearted one, and the hook is something like, “Hey! Did you know that [group of athletes] are really interested in [non-sports related object or activity]? Isn...
![Let's Spend Way Too Much Time Breaking Down An Adorable Little Girl's Quest For A Puck [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/a3zmbun0k7rt8ehrsaxu.png)
Let's Spend Way Too Much Time Breaking Down An Adorable Little Girl's Quest For A Puck [UPDATE]
On Sunday, a cute little girl sitting in the money seats at the Caps playoff game banged on the glass as Brett Connolly skated by. He noticed her and tried to flip her a puck over the glass, but a dad-person behind her caught it and handed it to the young fan beside her. She was sad. The same thing ...

Shocking Video Reveals That Ronaldo And Messi Have Different Personalities
Cristiano Ronaldo vs. Lionel Messi. It’s an argument as old as time itself, with diehard fans of these two all-time greats throwing out stats and facts in support of their preferred candidate to make their case for superiority—Messianiacs pointing to his better scoring record, his better passing, hi...

Report: Dumb Beer Ad Phrase Not Specifically Banned From The Masters
The dumb beer ad phrase, a corporate slogan the utterance of which will for sure get you kicked out of my household, even if you are my own mother, may not have actually been banned at this year’s Masters, according to an investigation by Dan Wetzel and Jay Busbee of Yahoo Sports:...

This Is "This Is March": Unpacking College Basketball's Most Uncanny Twitter Account
Jon Rothstein is a real person. He was born in a town at the very outermost edge of what could be called exurban New York City and has covered sports for a living virtually from the moment he graduated from Ithaca College. Rothstein won a Dream Job contest at New York’s ESPN sports radio station, 10...

MLB Season Preview: What You Need To Know For 40 Minutes Of Marlins Baseball
Aw shit yeah, buddies, it’s Opening Day! The good kind of Opening Day, too. One of those classics on which all 30 teams—well, except for the Nats and Reds and Tigers and Pirates, because their games have already been postponed—play on the same day and it’s non-stop baseball. I do have one piece of b...