tonight Page 2 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the cops make various demands outside by bullhorn ... · Game 7, Pistons at Spurs: Let's see who the media can blame this time. · College World Series, Double-Elimination Round: Florida vs. ASU. Loser gets to leave Nebraska! · U.S. Open Women's Golf Championship. Or, as they call it ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as life passes you by in a conga line outside your window ... Mets at Phillies. This meeting of the Doug Mientkiewicz Fan Club will now come to order. Wimbledon After Dark. We won't tell you what happened. CWS: Texas vs. Baylor. The ping! you hear means that none of these guys will be ...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while Batman is busting his ass fighting crime ... Much Adu About Soccer: U.S. takes on Italy in World Youth Championships. Game 6: Pistons at Spurs. Hey, it's a beautiful day outside! You kids go and get some fresh air! Wimbledon...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch now that the Jackson trial is over ... Devil Rays at Yankees. Early arrivals get to see Sean Henn and his 19.20 ERA. It's Wimbledon! You know ... tennis. College World Series: Tulane vs. Texas. Come see the minor leagues' minor leagues....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch to take your mind off of the giant meteor hurtling toward Earth ... Russell Crowe takes on Jethro Bodine's dad: Cinderella Man opens. Giants at Mets: See if they can get this one in before the sprinklers come on. Axis of Evil Cup: It's Iran vs. North Korea in World Cup qualifying match...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch after giving up on your annual attempt to read a book ... Final Day: Scripps National Spelling Bee. Can Evan O'Dorney prevail? (Last year a guy fainted from the pressure). Game 5: Pistons at Heat. We recommend viewing the Spelling Bee live, and TiVo-ing this. Yankees at Royals: New Yor...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch now that "According to Jim" is in reruns ... Rangers go for 10th straight win. Face it, they're red hot — and your fantasy team has none of them. Game 5: Spurs at Suns: San Antonio set to wrap up Operation Desert Yawn. Braves at Nationals. Inspired by Deep Throat story, MLB to reveal a...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch while loitering in the TV department at Circuit City ... Game 4: Miami Heat at Detroit Pistons: Larry Brown angrily denies report that his team is playing tonight. England, Beckham take on Colombia ... in New Jersey. Whose idea was this? Chicago Cubs at LA Dodgers. To save time we'll t...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Searching For Your Pants ... Red Sox at Yankees: I'll have two beers, please ... one for drinkin', and one for throwin'. Gentlemen, start your Fandango. Unnecessary remake of Burt Reynolds classic The Longest Yard opens at a theater near you. Senior PGA Championship. Come watch t...
To Watch Tonight ...
Elvis once shot his TV for less than this ... Tigers at Yankees. It's Alex Rodriguez Therapy Night; the first 5,000 therapists who have treated A-Rod get a free foam No. 1 finger. FedEx St. Jude PGA Classic, Round 1. Come play in a tournament named for the patron saint of impossible causes. French O...
To Watch Tonight ...
She left me! How can I go on? How can I ... oh, I remember: TV sports. Game 2: Detroit Pistons at Miami Heat. In the time it takes Shaq to run the length of the court, six million pounds of cocaine have been smuggled into the U.S by boat. Houston Astros at Chicago Cubs. Damn you, Red Sox! We were su...
To Watch Tonight ...
Please welcome, making another appearance on our sofa — my ass. (Applause) Game 2: Spurs at Suns. Come see the franchise based solely on air conditioning. Dodgers at Giants: This used to be fun, back when Bonds and Beltre were juiced. NBA Draft Lottery: In which you are humiliated by a ping pong bal...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Tonight Instead Of Chuckling At Soldiers Glaring At Nick Lachey: Game 1: Pistons at Heat: Little men make Shaq mad! Shaq crush little men! White Sox at Angels: The game will be played somewhere in the Los Angeles area. We're not allowed to say exactly where. Pirates at Cardinals: If Bo...
To Watch Tonight ...
Fever has reached 109 degrees. So weak. Must ... reach ... remote ... Game 6: Spurs at SuperSonics: With one more win, San Antonio's Manu Ginobili can totally buy whatever country it is he comes from. Diamondbacks at Astros: Just for laughs Clemens should come out wearing a Yankees cap. Game 6: Pist...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to do tonight instead of feigning interest in your family. Game 5: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns: This game won't end until after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. ER doctors and 7-Eleven clerks will be talking about this one for days. Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox: Until now we knew the White...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Game 5: Indiana Pacers at Detroit Pistons. Seriously, guys, just get in fight. Honestly. We don't mind. Be our guest. Game 5: Seattle Supersonics at San Antonio Spurs. Ray Allen looks to top that sex scene in He Got Game. Though that would ...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox. ESPN's Game of the Night, with Orlando Hernandez, who escaped Cuba, facing Chan Ho Park, whom Texas would love to go back to Korea. Atlanta Braves at San Diego PadresOffensive Native American mascot battl...