ty Page 829 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Protect Your Jewels, Macaulay!
Our childhood obsession with Mike Tyson's Punch-Out is well documented, to be sure. But exactly how would we have been scarred if we had somehow stumbled onto this version? The mind reels....

Some Things You See That You Can't Unsee
Friends, we have seen death; we have walked up to it, looked it straight in the eye and then scampered off and hid under our desk....

Nothing Says Joyous Celebration Of Dance Like Mike Tyson
We're a bit late on this, but it's too gorgeous not to comment upon: Mike Tyson is going to star in a Bollywood movie....

Alex Rodriguez Resists Temptation
If it's true that A-Rod likes the "she-male, muscular type," then it must have been quite a struggle to maintain focus last night. Decent effort, Fenway fans ... but it wouldn't hurt you to show a little more cleavage....

Who's the Next Allison Stokke?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....

The Future Of Sports Can Be Found On Google Patents
Using the invaluable Google Patent Search, the fine folks at Winning The Turnover Battle have dug up the most intriguing and odd sports patents making their way through the wacky inventors pipeline. Our favorite, the No Hang Basketball Net, is pictured....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as all the clocks slowly begin to melt ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. This one decides the series! Let's go! (Shotgun!). [ESPN] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta [TBS]; Chicago Cubs as San Diego. Considering the weather, the Cubs just may stay. [WGN] • Boxing: Women's, junior wel...

Look, A Survey
The Gawker people have asked us to give you this survey. They have asked us to tell you that if you take this survey, you can have a chance to win "one year of the unlimited, three-at-a-time, Netflix subscription," by sending the answer to "what the last question asked" to [email protected]. They h...

Tyler Clippard, Dane Cook Fan
Yankees fans rejoiced — well, maybe rejoiced was the wrong word — when rookie Tyler Clippard avoided a sweep at the hands of the Mets on Sunday night. And, as Newsday pointed out yesterday, it brought all kinds of new friends to Clippard's MySpace page. So we're happy to send a few more over....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while fighting right down to the last jibe ... • NBA: June rapidly approaches, and we still have four teams left ... Pistons take Game 1 over Cavaliers, 79-76. • MLB: Wang, Rodriguez lead Yankees to 6-2 win ov ... wait, what? Yankees beat Red Sox? • MLB: How long will it take for the...

Welcome, Jezebel: Turn To The Worship Of Her God Baal
The classy, bombastic lovely ladies seen here are the editors of the newest site from our benevolent benefactors at Gawker Media, Jezebel, which launched today. The basic premise of the site is mapped out in a manifesto about the five biggest lies that women's magazines spew. Personally, we've alway...

Fun With Ambidexterity: It's Pat!
A while back we told you about Creighton's Pat Venditte, whose main claim to fame — besides being a college junior who looks like he's 12 — is that he can pitch with both hands. OK, perhaps not that impressive when you put him next to the Amazing Rubber Boy, but we have trouble picking up a fork lef...

The Return Of Tecmo Bowl
We don't know how we missed this piece of news yesterday, but The Fanhouse has the scoop: They're bringing back Tecmo Bowl!...

What To Do While Bored At RFK
Last night, at RFK Stadium in DC, the Washington Nationals hosted the Atlanta Braves in a game that counted an official total of 21,258 fans. (To which we say: Yeah, right.) With the upper deck almost entirely empty — we know how this goes — one dastardly fan decided to try to construct a word out o...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while washing your hand jammies ... • NBA: Do not jostle Steve Nash! Suns 104, Spurs 98. • MLB: What in the world has gotten into the Washington Nationals? • NHL: Live by the Sabre, die by the Sabre ... Senators take 3-0 series lead....

Pistons Finally Tire Of Toying With Bulls
Remember in the last game of the NBA regular season, when the Bulls simply needed a victory over the Nets to clinch the No. 2 seed in the Eastern Conference? If they hadn't lost that game, this Bulls-Pistons whitewash could have been our conference finals; this could be all there is....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Boris Mironov fails to outwit moose and squirrel ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Detroit at Chicago, Game 3. Bulls were just waiting for the right moment to pounce. [ESPN] • NHL: Eastern Conference finals, Ottawa at Buffalo, Game 1. We should, like, buy a case of Labatt Bl...

How Not To Ride In A Golf Cart
It's a beautiful day in New York City today, and though we don't golf, it does seem like a lovely afternoon to be on a golf course. Particularly for a ride in golf cart. Drunk. What could possibly go wrong?...

We Need To Talk About Your TPS Reports
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly give you Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...

That Counts As A Penalty?
You know, if you can't mock a foreign soccer player for smelling bad, jeez, what can you do?...