w Page 3613 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oh, Hey, Jonathan Papelbon's Still A Dick
The Nationals got exactly what they expected out of Jonathan Papelbon: a very good closer and an unrepentant asshole with a knack for pissing off his own teammates as much as his opponents. After Papelbon plunked Manny Machado in last night’s 4-3 Baltimore win, it was Bryce Harper, of all people, wh...
Goodbye Jason Richardson, Thanks For Making Me Fall In Love With The Warriors
The turn of the century was a bleak time to be a Warriors fan. Really, besides a few good Run TMC seasons in the early 1990s, any of the 30 years between 1977 and 2006 was a bleak time to be a Warriors fan. But in the opinion of this fan—who can first remember listening on the radio as the Warriors ...
Come On, Summer Is Obviously The Worst Season, Fight Me
Just what the fuck?...
Here Is Some Impossibly Stupid NBA Ass-Eating Gossip To Brighten Your Day
Sometimes, you just need to go to MediaTakeOut, a website that employs some of the finest prose stylists (seriously) of our time, and read an anonymous Instagram model’s account of how she ate NBA BALLER WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH A K’S butt, even though it was MUSTY....
The Idiotic <i>Stonewall </i>Is A Bigger Disaster Than Roland Emmerich's Actual Disaster Movies
1. Stonewall misses the point of the Stonewall riots in almost the exact same way that Pearl Harbor missed the point of Pearl Harbor. That’s not a comparison I make lightly. Pearl Harbor turned one of the most seminal moments in American history into the pretext for a lame story about two white schm...
Massachusetts Man Cannot Handle Seeing A Sunfish: "What The Fuck Is That, Kid?"
At first, it’s reasonable to think that this video’s protagonist, a man from Malden, is laying the Massachusetts accent on a little thick as he reacts to seeing a sunfish in the water. Oh man, Jay, it’s dead, bro, or somethin’! Michael Bergin’s interview with the Boston Globe basically confirms that...
Washington Football Fan Group Stars In World's Saddest Vine
I’m not sure what’s going on with Washington’s social media manager today, but there’s a good chance he or she woke up and said something along the lines of, “I’d really like to make the saddest Vine in the history of the internet today.”...
Tottenham Honor Wayne Gretzky With Misspelled Jersey
Remember this next time anyone tries to give the average American shit for not knowing who Xavi is or something....
Whole30 Is The Latest Diet Fad, But It Won't Be The Last
People will basically torture themselves in the name of getting slim. But you can’t call it the Torture Diet. So they call it “Paleo” or a “Juice Cleanse,” and bolster it with gimmicky claims about how it’s going to rid your body of toxins and make you a better, healthier, more spiritually balanced ...
![Lawyer Of Patrick Kane's Accuser Claims Rape Kit Was Tampered With [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1443562022865048353.jpg)
Lawyer Of Patrick Kane's Accuser Claims Rape Kit Was Tampered With [Update]
Thomas Eoannou, the attorney for the woman accusing Patrick Kane of rape, held a press conference today and claimed that the rape kit, which had reportedly shown no signs of Kane’s DNA on the woman’s genital area or underwear, was tampered with. Eoannou discovered this because the rape kit’s evidenc...
Baseball Is A Wonderful Sport
If you ever catch some dingus being like, “Wehhhhh, baseball is lame!” just show them this photo, taken at last night’s Reds-Cardinals game by AP photographer Jeff Roberson....
Keeper Discovers That Throwing The Ball Right Into An Opponent's Head Is A Bad Idea
Technically this isn’t an own goal, since the last touch came from the striker, but it is still the most embarrassing non-own goal you’re likely to see. The keeper can raise his hand all he likes, but it’s not interference when you literally throw the ball right at the dude’s head. The video:...
Another High School Football Player Targets A Referee
High school football is in desperate need of some chill right now. Just this month we’ve seen two Texas high school football players light up a referee who supposedly said racist things to them, another player from Texas shove an official, and a kid use his opponent’s helmet as a mace. Now, we have ...
Cantillon Iris Is Overpriced Bullshit
We merry Drunkspinners celebrate every holiday that crosses our paths, from Christmas to Rosh Hashanah to National Beef Doughnut Day to the other National Beef Doughnut Day. No matter how solemn or contrived, we can get behind any celebration that doesn’t expressly forbid beer. Not all members of th...
Boxer Dresses Up Like Batman, Fights The Joker At Press Conference
Tyson Fury, a British boxer who is set to get his face punched off by Wladimir Klitschko, thought it would be cool to dress up like Batman for the pre-fight press conference and wrassle with another guy who dressed up like the Joker. ...
Browns Send Johnny Manziel Back To The Bench, For Some Reason
The Browns coaches must fucking despise Johnny Manziel. ...
Report: Kam Chancellor's Coming To Save The Seahawks
The Seattle Seahawks are 0-2, and a big reason why has been the absence of their all-world safety, Kam Chancellor, who has been holding out for a better contract. Well, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter (by way of Stephen A. Smith), Chancellor has given up on his holdout and is headed back to Seattl...
Yogi Berra Is Dead At 90
The Yankees announced early Wednesday that beloved catcher Yogi Berra is dead at 90....
Barry Zito And Tim Hudson Will Face Off On Saturday
Congratulations A’s and Giants fans, you did it! You successfully wished something cool into existence!...
Robert De Niro Redeems The Dopey Fantasy That Is <i>The Intern</i>
At a time when some romantic comedies are flexing an edgier, more smart-ass tone—They Came Together, Sleeping With Other People, even Trainwreck—perhaps it’s a refreshing palate-cleanser that Nancy Meyers movies continue to operate in their own storybook world. You know what to expect from the write...