w Page 3912 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rain Causes Oakland Athletics' Plumbing To Flood, Again
The Oakland A's plumbing system was defeated yet again when it was overwhelmed by the weather yesterday. Toilet water for all!...
Steven Stamkos Scores On His Own Empty Net During Delayed Penalty
Though the Tampa Bay Lightning were on a delayed penalty, they still somehow surrendered a goal last night. Steven Stamkos is a scoring machine that doesn't have time to distinguish nets, dammit....
Arizona Loses To Wisconsin; Students And Riot Police Face Off
Arizona lost 64-63 in overtime to the Wisconsin Badgers earlier tonight for a spot in the Final Four, and now the campus is kind of a shit show. Riot police were lining up in front of a University boulevard bar more than an hour before the game ended and when it did, things rapidly deteriorated. By ...
Former Expos Announcer Loses His Mind On Melky Cabrera Home Run
My French is a little rusty, but I think former Montreal Expos announcer Rodger Brulotte just sang "I love baseball and this Melky Cabrera guy almost as much as I love sucking down a nice burgundy and five million cigarettes. Good night, it is gone." ...
Arizona Police Sketch Looks Exactly Like Dan Snyder
According to AZ Central, Tempe police are looking for the person depicted in this police sketch who is alleged to have broken into a 19-year-old woman's home and sexually assaulted her while she was asleep. He bears an uncanny resemblance to Dan Snyder....
Kevin Ware Is Transferring From Louisville
Almost one year ago today, Kevin Ware became a household name as the Louisville player who suffered quite possibly the most stomach-turning injury ever recorded. Ware exited the court on a stretcher during Louisville's eventual win over Duke to advance to the 2013 Final Four. With Ware as a rallying...
Defender Kicks In Own Goal Off Goalkeeper's Face
Own goals are, by definition, bad, but this own goal in a Bundesliga matchup between Mainz and Augsburg is really, really bad. Augsburg goalkeeper Marwin Hitz made a glancing save on the initial shot from Mainz, but the ball hit off the post and trickled back in front of the net. So, trying to clear...
Mark Sanchez Photobombed By Incredibly Appropriate Reggie White Photo
Who knew that a photo photobomb even existed? Thanks to Mark Sanchez and the Eagles website we all do, now....
How To Fry Brussels Sprouts, And Learn To Love Them At Last
You think of Brussels sprouts and you think of misery. When you were a kid, some damn do-gooder grownup nuked a frozen bag of them in the microwave , and scooped a bunch of them onto your plate next to your delicious SpaghettiOs, and laid some bullshit on you about how eating them would make you gro...
Michigan Flop Ruins An Otherwise Great Game
Last night against Michigan, Tennessee came all the way back from a 15-point deficit with 10 minutes left to be in a position to get jobbed in the final seconds. With 10 seconds left in the game, Tennessee trailed Michigan by only one, 72-71. That's when the Volunteers put the ball in Jarnell Stokes...
Kentucky Beats Louisville, Has Most Orderly Couch Fire Ever
In the early morning Saturday, a few hours after Kentucky stormed back to beat Louisville 74-69 and advance to the Elite Eight, we received this video. It appears to be a single couch burning in the middle of the street along with several—I'd say...15, 20?—revelers chatting around the blaze. With i...
"They're Try'na Burn Down The House At The Corner Of State & Crescent"
Listening to the Lexington police scanner after a big Kentucky basketball win can be great fun....
Gooks Don't Get Redskins Joke
Wednesday's episode of the Colbert Report, a satirical television program in which Stephen Colbert satirically plays a conservative buffoon, featured a segment on actual buffoon Dan Snyder's Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation, which was announced this week amid renewed protest against...
Two Former Players Have DeSean Jackson's Back
The NFL story of the day is the release of WR DeSean Jackson almost immediately after the release of a report that the Eagles were concerned about his association with alleged Crips gang members. Two former players have weighed in, and both are of the mind that Jackson is being unfairly smeared for ...
Best Ever: The Making Of "What Do You Think Of Ted Williams Now?"
This piece originally appeared in the eighth issue of The Classical Magazine. It is reprinted here with permission. ...
CEO Of Redskins' Foundation Has History Of Swindling Native Americans
The Washington Redskins Original Americans Foundation—with which Dan Snyder promises to end Native poverty just to make sure he can keep using a racial epithet as a team name—is off a poor start. The foundation's CEO's is accused of bilking Native Americans out of $1 million in federal funds. ...
I'm Jonah Keri, World Authority On The Expos. Any Questions For Me?
Jonah Keri, staff writer for Grantland and author of Up, Up, & Away, will be hanging out in the comments below for the next hour or so, ready to take your questions on the Montreal Expos, bagels, and whatever else comes to mind. Have at it....