w Page 4663 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lady Gaga Won’t Empower You For Shit
I don't quite know when Lady Gaga evolved from talented pop star into the world's least convincing self-help guru, but that shit needs to stop immediately. ...

Rashard Lewis Is "Willing To Sacrifice" Himself For The NBA Owners' Sins
In 2007, chronic underachiever Rashard Lewis signed a six-year, $118-million contract with the Orlando Magic. Then, last December, the Magic unloaded Lewis onto the Washington Wizards in exchange for their own chronic underachiever, Gilbert Arenas. Arenas had a six-year, $111-million contract at the...

If The '90s Braves Were Doctoring The Ball, More Power To Them
Where does the credit go for the dominant Braves pitching staffs of the 1990s? Smoltz, Glavine and Maddux themselves? A front office that got them, kept them, and found nearly-as-dominant fourth starters seemingly every year? A goodly amount of praise has been heaped on Leo Mazzone, the pitching coa...

Some Asshole Tossed Either A Streamer Or A Cash Register Roll That Hit A Soccer Referee In The Head (Video)
This happened during a match in Chile. It's tough to tell exactly what came unfurling from out of the stands, but it made a direct hit. And the impact was severe enough for the unfortunate linesman to have to leave via stretcher and for the match to be stopped. [Dirty Tackle]...

Djokovic-Federer Had Nothing On Christ-Satan, Says Writer Who Is Not Joking
"The match between Djokovic and Federer in New York was quite a spectacle, but it was nothing compared to Christ's victory over sin and death and Satan. 'And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.' (Colossians 2:15) Memo to ...

SprtsCntr: Coming To You Live From Michael Vick's Hippocampus
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Logan Morrison Would Like To Borrow Your Black Flag T-Shirt
Your morning roundup for Sept. 22, the day we learned live trees make great ancient bridges. Photo via @Jimmy Traina. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Presenting What Could Be The First Nasty Face-To-Boards Hit Of The NHL Preseason
Jody Shelley of the Philadelphia Flyers (for now) logged 6:27 of ice time in a preseason game against the Toronto Maple Leafs before he was asked to retire to the locker room for the evening....

Today In Desperate Craigslist Casual-Encounters Posts
"Ex-NFL Player Looking For Fun - m4w - 35 (Palm Beach)...

Six-Foot 200-Pound Red Kangaroo Hurts 80-Year-Old Ohio Man "All Over"
An elderly man who owns an exotic-animals farm in Marion County, Ohio "was attacked and beat in the face" by a big, angry, wanting-to-breed kangaroo for about 15 minutes yesterday. He'll live, but the exotic creature won't....

Kobe Bryant Makes A Cameo In UC Irvine Athletics's Horrendous "Love Shack" Video
When Ray Lewis worried about the societal ramifications of an NFL lockout, he said evil would result. While he didn't say so, it's not much of a stretch to think it similarly applies to an NBA lockout....

If You're Comfortable Watching Girls Run Facefirst Into Soccer Goalposts, Watch This
This young girl goalkeeper was woefully out of position when an opposing forward took a quality shot. In attempting to stop said shot, the young girl goalkeeper's forehead met the goalpost with authority. And yes, classy dad who pipes up at the end, it appears she is "done already."...

Somebody Stole A Minor-League Baseball Mascot's Head And That Makes People Sad
"'Stomper' the bear disappeared from All Pro Freight Stadium in Avon [Ohio] sometime last month. With eight games left to go in the season, fans immediately took notice. 'He's a little overweight and that keeps him warm in the winters. He's fun-loving and loves to dance,' said Crushers V.P. Dan He...

Kim Kardashian's Sex Tape Partner Isn't Proud Of Brawling With A Rapper During Vegas Fight Weekend
In the role of Larry Merchant is a TMZ photographer. Starring as Victor Ortiz is the world famous "Ray J." And as Mayweather-by-default, we have rapper Fabolous....

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
When KFDX from Wichita Falls, Texas needed someone to shout-out the big Knox City/Newcastle game last weekend, they knew Chad McGhee was the man for them....

Cops: A Couple Of Pounds Of Marijuana Got Shipped To The Home Where Two Cincinnati Bengals Live
"An operation by state narcotics agents that tracked a shipment of high-grade marijuana from Northern California led police to a suburban Kentucky house and two National Football League players, law enforcement authorities said. Cincinnati Bengals teammates Jerome Simpson and Anthony Collins, both ...

More From The C-Roll Stash: Boobs And People With Boobs Eating Ice Cream (NSFW)
The origins of the C-Roll, from which we've been posting excerpts all week, are a bit of a mystery. We know, thanks to our anonymous contributor, that the video had "been passed around throughout the years" and added to by various production assistants and cameramen. Somewhere along the way, thoug...

Your Pearl Jam Fan Notes Contest Assignment: One Ed Vedder, Captured.
Just as I suspected, there are dozens of lame white people with shitty musical tastes that read Deadspin. Take Erik, who submitted the Eddie Vedder autograph you see above with this accompanying story:...

This Evening: LeBron James Has A Dream, Cupcakes
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 21, the day we first heard of bisexual squid. Photos via LeBron's Twitter page, on which he posted a bunch of photos today from his trip to D.C. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Fox NFL Sunday Analysts Are Really, Totally Not Transparently Excited About <em>The X Factor</em>
From today's Twitter postings:...