we Page 773 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Orem Owlz Medium Is The Message
For years, we have watched the totalitarian media/mind control tactics of the rookie-level Pioneer League team the Orem Owlz with a wary eye. They have sat there, in their megalomaniacal castle in Utah, acting as if they are the rulers of all the survey, wielding their power indiscriminately and wit...
The Brewers Meet The Furries
When the Milwaukee Brewers played in Pittsburgh this week, they ended up staying at the same hotel as a Furry Convention. (It's actually the Furry Convention.) That's Bob Uecker and one of them above. The notion of the Milwaukee Brewers hanging out in the same hotel as Furries might seem funny to ...
Why We Can't Hang Out With Gamblers
At Least Some Poker Players Are Athletes [Shakedown Sports]...
Today, A Victory For America
We just returned from Joey Chestnut's world record breaking performance at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship, and, to be entirely honest with you, we're not sure when we've had more fun at a sporting event. Full report tomorrow ... but as for now ... USA! USA! USA! Nobody eats like us!...
Spencer Hawes Doesn't Think It's Getting Hot In Here
New Sacramento Kings center Spencer Hawes has heard your complaints about athletes not being political, about LeBron James refusing to speak out for those suffering in Darfur. He wants you to know that he will not kowtow to corporate interests. He speak truth to power. Particular in his college deba...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you mourn the untimely passing of Farfour, the Martyred Television Mouse ... • MLB: Minnesota at New York Yankees. It's the matchup we've all been waiting for: Boof Bonser vs. Roger Clemens. [ESPN] • Arena football: Wild-card game, Utah at Los Angeles. Somehow, Al Davis will find a ...
Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....
Goodbye, MJD, Hello, Popular Redesign
• Our redesign went over like gangbusters, totally. We are working on it, promise. • God, we hate rain. • EIU wrestltng fever: CATCH IT. • Matt Geiger, pimp. • Pirate fan walkout? What Pirate fan walkout? • Goodbye, Rod Beck. • Dice-K rocks, sort of. • David Hirshey is not handling this Thierry Henr...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while making your getaway in the Oscar Mayer Weinermobile ... • Soccer: Argentina beats U.S. 4-1, forces us to call cowboys "gauchos" from now on. • MLB: Mr. 3000, yep, that's Craig Biggio. But his BIG milestone is yet to come. • Golf: Park Place ... Wie, Webb flounder at U.S. Women'...
Yep: The Kobe Video Guys Are Dorks
This site claims to have pictures of the two guys responsible for that increasingly lame "Kobe Video Rant", smiling with Kobe during happier times. (In other words, right before he spouted off and caused them to think you could sell 25-second video clips on the Web.) It's not confirmed that's reall...
Floyd Mayweather, A Heavy Spawner
Since he beat Oscar de la Hoya in the First Fight To End All Fights That Involved, In Fact, No Fighting, Floyd Mayweather has been making sure to enjoy himself. But it's all fun and games until you're served with a child-support suit at the BET Awards....
What The Hell's Going On With This Redesign?
As you surely notice looking around the site, there's some massive design changes going on. (You'll notice that it looks suspiciously similar to Gawker.) We're not exactly sure how this is all gonna work either, and we're working through it ourselves, but let's try to explain what's going on and the...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line to buy a phone ... • MLB: Walk this way ... Orioles beat Yankees in the least exciting way possible. • Tennis: Venus Williams upset in first round of ... no wait, she won. That was close. • Soccer: We warned you ... you underestimate Peru at your own peril....
Stuart Scott Is The Broadcasting Equivalent Of Hudson Hawk
As Awful Announcing reported yesterday, tonight, ESPN will bring you a Very Special "SportsCenter" featuring Bruce Willis, Live Free Or Die Hard and all kinds of WACKY HIJINKS....
Maybe There's A Reason Laurence Maroney Wants You To Wash U Ass
MediaTakeOut.com, the website everyone turns to when they want the hard-hitting truth, picked up on the Laurence Maroney items from yesterday at KSK and here, and are now, based on the below picture, insinuating that Maroney is gay....
You Are Up For Adoption
As Will told you yesterday, Weekend Daddy no longer wants custody of you. I've got this weekend, and one more. I had planned to just surprise everyone with my last post, and throw up a full-frontal picture of Jeff Reed's genitalia, but I guess that's not necessary now. Of course, it seems like it's ...
Chris Berman Talked To Us About Exercise
• Chase that cheese! • We hope to someday start a crime fighting squad with Harold Reynolds. • Hello, Sen. Dodd! • We love Laurence Maroney. • The Pirates love "The Sopranos." • Yet another tough week for Pac Man Jones. • Robots, on camels. • Gonna Make You Sweat. • So close now, Rick. So close. • E...
Another Reason To Have Him On Your Fantasy Team
The man here is Patriots running back Lawrence Maroney, and Kissing Suzy Kolber has discovered that his Facebook page is not to be underestimated....