wha Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Drake Athletic Trainer Says He Was Fired For Peeing In Tub Even Though He Immediately Cleaned It
Drake University’s head athletic trainer says he was fired in September after he peed into a tub, cleaned it, and told the athletic director....
<i>Thursday Night Football</i> Commercial: Folks, Remember The Freakin' Dress?!?
The NFL has been dealing with low television ratings all season, and people have all sorts of theories about why that is. One theory that the NFL itself seems to buy into is that the league isn’t doing enough to appeal to meme enthusiasts, because I can’t imagine why else this commercial was created...
Please Return Cassius Marsh's Stolen <i>Magic: The Gathering</i> Cards
I’ve never lost my Magic: The Gathering cards to anything more malicious than a sofa cushion, but I can fathom the pain Seattle Seahawks linebacker Cassius Marsh is feeling after his Land Rover was broken into on Tuesday night. What follows is a tragic sequence of events, and a translation....
How Long Can You Wear Championship Gear?<em></em>
Hey, it’s Election Day! You should go vote. Unless you forgot to register, in which case it’s probably too late, in which case you are utterly powerless to control the country’s destiny, in which case we may all burn forever as a result of your negligence, in which case you should hide when we come ...
Trump Surrogate Criticizes Hillary Backer Jay Z For Video Featuring "Mazel Tov Cocktail"
Scottie Nell Hughes is still promoting Donald Trump on CNN despite her having been verbally assassinated on-air by Ana Navarro last month. Tonight, she stood up for her candidate after Trump attacked Beyoncé and Jay Z, who appeared with Clinton at a rally this weekend—but got one slight detail wrong...
Juan Manuel Lopez Knocks Out Wilfredo Vazquez, Then Starts Fighting Other People<em></em>
A grudge match between two former Puerto Rican world champions ended with the winner brawling with the loser’s trainer after Juan Manuel López knocked out Wilfredo Vazquez and proceeded to trade blows with Vazquez’s corner man....
Big Boy Jim Harbaugh Enjoys Huge Glass Of Milk With Large Steak<em></em>
“Would you like a drink to pair with your hunk of steak?” “Yes, can I see your two percent list?”...
Andrew Hawkins Says His Robotic Touchdown Celebration Was A Shot At The NFL's Stupid Rules
Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins caught an 11-yard touchdown pass in the first quarter of Sunday’s game against the Patriots. He celebrated the score in noticeably rigid fashion:...
Joe Buck's Addiction To Hair-Plug Treatments Almost Ended His Career
Well, there’s a headline I never really expected to write....
What Will Harbaugh Think Of Next?
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How
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter, like us on Facebook, and sign up for our newsletter!...
Saint Louis University's New Mascot Is Hungry For Your Soul
Saint Louis University’s mascot is the Billikens. No, a billiken is not a type of lake, an airplane, or an offbrand big cat. It’s a “mythical good-luck figure who represents ‘things as they ought to be’” according to the school’s website. Things apparently ought to be horrifying, because the updated...
Alejandro Bedoya And Eric Wynalda Face Off In Extremely Raw Twitter Beef
Last night, the U.S. men’s soccer team kicked the nuts clean off Trinidad and Tobago, setting them up well ahead of the next round of World Cup Qualifying, and, most promisingly, did so by featuring the prodigious talents of the wonderteen himself, Christian Pulisic. All should be happy in USMNT lan...
Chihuahuas Come Up With Physics-Defying Groundout
I learned a new baseball rule tonight thanks to the Las Vegas 51s and the El Paso Chihuahuas. In the top of the seventh inning, 51s first baseman Eric Campbell fouled one towards the dugout. Thing is, he hit it with such a serious curve that it sliced right back into play before it passed first base...
Is This Tristan Thompson's Dick Or What?
This afternoon, Tristan Thompson posted a photo on Twitter posing with the Larry O’Brien trophy at a Tim Hortons. But you may notice another large object....
Cristiano Ronaldo Named Best Player In Europe, Wins Creepy-Ass Trophy
Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest soccer-playing cyborg ever made/animated, had a year to remember. First, he dragged Real Madrid to Champions League glory (pulling them through the least daunting field maybe ever, but hey, winning’s winning) in May. For his next feat, he stood on the sidelines with w...
Taylor Swift Sends Terrible Gifts To Her Friends
One thing we know to be true about Taylor Swift is that she is frequently photographed with other people. The Instagram personality, who is also a musician, refers to the people in these photographs her “friends.” She has many of them! More friends than you and me, and everyone we know combined. She...
Police Investigate Possible Rat Urine Poisoning By Crime Syndicate At Wimbledon
In a story I can’t believe is playing out somewhere besides the Olympics, Scotland Yard is investigating whether or not British tennis player Gabriella Taylor was poisoned with bacteria from rat urine by an organized crime syndicate at Wimbledon, per The Daily Telegraph. Taylor was the furthest-adva...
Yasiel Puig Is Probably Not A Fun Person To Party With<em></em>
The Los Angeles Dodgers optioned Yasiel Puig to Triple A last week, and on Monday night he posted a bunch of videos of himself partying with his new teammates. The Dodgers were, predictably, unhappy about this....