This Is The Video You Show A Child To Teach Them How To Slide, If You Hate That Child

The Tigers are up 2-0 on the Pirates in the early going of opening day for both teams, and Detroit got their rally going with a Mikie Mahtook leadoff double in the second. Mahtook’s slide was a thing of beauty, in a way. Ugly, awkward beauty. How do you even put that many parts of your body in contact with the ground, in that order? How do you bash yourself in the nose with your own helmet?

Mahtook, a former first-round pick, appears to struggle delightfully with really basic baseball motions. Before this, he was best known to me as the outfielder who volleyball-served a ball over the wall for a Jose Ramirez home run. He probably should have used his catching hand, you know, the one with the glove on it.