Tim Tebow Could Lose Both His Legs In A Car Accident ... And Still Manage To Walk It Off

• Florida 51, South Carolina 31 — Tim Tebow accounted for seven touchdowns (!), five of them rushing (!), and 424 total yards (!) as the No. 17 Gators destroyed the Cocks. Now I'm no Elias, but I imagine those stats deserve the bracket-exclamation point praise, right? Or was this like a bad game for him?

• Kansas 43, Oklahoma State 28 — Sexual Chocolate, Marcus Henry had a career-high 199 yards receiving and three touchdowns as the Jayhawks — um, CAW? — remained unbeaten. Kansas (6-0 in the Big 12) moved to 10-0 for the first time since the Second Boer War.

• USC 24, California 17 — Chauncey Washington, who finished with a career-high 220 rushing yards, and John David Booty led a tiebreaking 96-yard scoring drive through the rain and mist in the fourth quarter, capped by Stafon Johnson's 3-yard TD run with 7:38 left. Ahhh ... Myst. What a game.

• Virginia 48, Miami (FL) 0 — Just fuck off and die already, Orange Bowl.

• Illinois 28, Ohio State 21 — I really don't understand college football ... but congratulations, William!