Americans Excited About Handsless Event

OK, the seeds for next year's World Cup are out, and since we're one of the presumed four countries in the draw with Internet access, we're on top of the story.

(Though we can't help but note that while the rest of the world is hanging on this draw like it's the millennium, and here we're watching it on ESPN2 with that weird bald guy that Bristol trots out whenever it pretends to care about soccer.)

Anyway, the United States is playing in Group E. The teams in their round-robin: Italy, Ghana and the Czech Republic. (We're told it's a tough bracket.) We know, because of the seeding arrangement, there was no way for the U.S. to be in the same pool as Iran, but, you know, it's a shame anyway. (Mexico, take care of those guys for us, would ya?) So let's start hating Italy, all right? We'll start: Super Mario Bros., man, we freaking hated that game.* Yeah! Take that!

World Cup 2006 [FIFA]

**This is not, in fact, true.