Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
This image was lost some time after publication. Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"
The Plot: Bill and his buddies (the fat redhead guy and some asshead wearing his hat backwards) are sitting at Fenway Park, the first sign that this isn't true to life. A man in front of them, with his two kids, is talking loudly to his wife on his cellphone. Bill and the boys mock him for a bit. David Ortiz comes to bat, and the man, trying to talk over the crowd, stands in front of them and yells. A foul ball is hit in their direction, and as they all scramble for it, it lands in the cellphone man's lap, who screams appreciatively into his phone. Cut to Bill and his buddies, for a spit take. Wha-wha-whaaaaat?
The message: Talking on your cellphone at the game is bad? Jerks who make fun of kids are bad? Foul balls are difficult to catch? We're pretty vague on this one.
The jokes: We're still waiting.
Tidbits: The cellphone man looks like Jon Lovitz ... Simmons' dialogue delivered in the fashion of Cindy Crawford in "Fair Game" ... two minutes long ... still feels like it needs an intermission.
Sports Guy's World [ESPN.com]
Shohei Ohtani Rule Explained: Why Dodgers Get Extra Pitcher
Four Events That Might Be Axed in PGA Tour Shakeup
NBA Playoffs Betting Picks: Game 3 Predictions & Best Bets
Why Mike Tomlin Will Be Perfect Television Fit for NBC
- NBA Playoff Picks: Rockets vs Lakers & Spurs vs Blazers Best Bets
- MLB Betting Picks Today: Two Expert Picks for Tuesday’s Slate
- NBA Playoff Picks: Best Bets for Nuggets vs Timberwolves & Knicks vs Hawks
- Best Value Betting Picks Ahead of 2026 NFL Draft
- UFC Winnipeg Betting Picks: Best Bets for April 18th Card
- NBA Play-In Picks: Best Player Props for Hornets vs Magic, Warriors vs Suns
- Friday April 17th Expert MLB Betting Picks, Predictions

