Kobe Understands Kobe Better Than Anyone Else

It’s Star Wars day in America, where everyone gets asked something about Star Wars (Me? Glad you asked. My answer is that I’m excited for Star Wars.) Kobe Bryant handled his question today with cold honesty befitting a Dark Lord of the Sith.

Most everyone else would say Han Solo, because every other character is either a dweeb or a muppet. But Bryant doesn’t really care about being a good guy. In fact, his only qualm with the guy who carried out planetary genocide is that he’s a little too compliant.

That said, Kobe Bryant would absolutely cut his own son’s hand off if he talked any trash on the court. Kobe would also release a special edition of the original trilogy with Jar Jar Binks inserted into every scene.