babies Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cubs Fan Catches Foul Ball, Does Not Drop Baby
It's that time of year again, when dads somehow simultaneously shirk and embrace parental responsibility by catching foul balls with babes in arms. Last night in Chicago, a Cubs fan managed to juggle his infant to his left arm and grab a foul ball with his right....

Mall Baby Racing Is A Hong Kong Sunday Afternoon Pastime
The Windsor Mall in Hong Kong gives us a preview of what life will be like if there's no football on Sundays. Like our Chinese friends, we will take to the malls and race our babies. Says our tipster:...

Giants' Cable Partner Looking For Baby Resulting From Celebratory Post-World-Series Love-Makin'
The San Francisco Giants are a little zanier than the other MLB teams. That's just how it is. Note, for example, some of their upcoming special events at the ballpark: Singles Night (presented by Captain Morgan), "Law & Disorder" Legal Professionals Night, Bill Graham Tribute Night, and, our favorit...

These Newborns Have Been Bruins Fans For About As Long As Most Adult Bostonians
We kid, we kid. Obviously there are no parallels to be drawn between the litter at this area hospital, brainwashed from their first days to support the local hockey club, and grown Bruins fans, who made the informed choice themselves, all coincidentally around the spring of 2008....

Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching
I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column:...

Crying Baby Distracts Tennis Player, Tennis Player Lobs Ball Toward Crying Baby
En route to a loss to new American No.1 Mardy Fish at the Sony Ericsson Open yesterday, Spaniard David Ferrer found himself annoying by a crying infant in the stands. Double faulting and then losing serve, he finally lost his patience: sending the ball in the general vicinity of the child....

The Baby-Holding, Foul-Ball-Catching Dads Are Not Going Away
Having learned nothing, a man attending last night's Tigers-Indians match caught a foul ball off the bounce, while holding a baby that may be his and standing perilously close to a railing. Someone put a stop to these monsters. [Sportress of Blogitude]...

A Video Compilation Of Dads Catching Foul Balls While Holding Their Babies
Saturday's Cubs-Cardinals game featured one of the greatest sights in baseball: a father taking a risk and catching a foul ball while holding a baby. In honor of that man's brave baby imperiling, here's a salute to those glory-hound patres familias....

Surprisingly, Infant No Match For MMA Fighter
Watch Alan Belcher demonstrate the rear naked choke on his baby, which, if performed correctly, can cause your opponent to slur her speech, spontaneously lose consciousness, and soil herself. [MMA Girls]...

Baby Eating Way Out Of Watermelon Encapsulates The Human Cond—Awwwwwww!
Edible time-out? Funtime/dinnertime mashup? Emerging pod person? All we know is—awwwwwww! [via ExtraHotTrainaMustardClicks]...

The Boston Red Sox Will Brand Your Baby
"Every baby" born at Boston's Beth Israel will be indoctrinated into Red Sox Nation, whether you like it or not. The "Red Sox Babies" package includes hat, tote, and a lifetime of insufferability. [Beth Israel, "Benbino" pic via]...

Baby Tressel Is A Sharp Dresser
Concerned reader Robert is worried that regular Mangino won't be with us much longer, so his baby form will go wanting. So he presents the world with Baby Tressel. Thoughts?...

Finally, a No-Hassle Way to Receive Semen From a Dude That Looks Like This
What mother wouldn't want a puffy, bloated, thick-necked bouncing baby boy? Thanks to a sperm bank in Los Angeles, you can make your dream of birthing Ben Roethlisberger's baby without sleeping with Ben Roethlisberger come true....

Meet Tebow Sanford Crumley
Naming your children after Florida quarterbacks: Isolated case, or alarming worldwide trend? Tebow Crumley was born on Thursday, and can already bench press 200 pounds and sing all the lyrics to The Pirates of Penzance....

College Football Roundup: Mommas Don't Bring Your Babies to Neyland
Just a tip, don’t ever try and take a baby into Neyland Stadium. No matter how old the kid (ours is less than nine months old and was sleeping in a baby bjorn on his mom’s chest). Babies have to have tickets to Neyland too. I have no idea why the University of Tennessee would have this policy. Espe...

Baby's First Breathalyzer Exam: Priceless
One of the reasons I don't attend many minor league baseball games in Tennessee: All the drunken babies. It's the Chattanooga Lookouts' popular Half Price Beer Night For Babies promotion, in which anyone two or younger can get completely hammered under the close supervision of team mascot Looie the ...

Travis Henry Is One Stoned Strategist
Travis Henry has long since shown his particular skill at innovation, siring seven children with seven women, which is not easy to do even if you are trying. And now he's dealing with the positive drug test the NFL made him take by suing the NFL....

Calipari Is Already Out There Recruiting
You know, it's one thing when puppies lick out of water bowls on a football field. That's cute, because they're puppies, and they won't grow up to resent their parents....

Ben Affleck Wants To Brainwash Your Baby
Anyone who has seen Daredevil — or anything, really — knows that a new Ben Affleck video is cause for genuine concern. But this news is even more terrible than you might imagine; it seems that the rabid Red Sox enthusiast is after your baby....

Hey, How Come All We Got Was A Team Ghana Keychain?
German hospitals are reporting a huge upsurge in maternity reservations for the month of April, which happens to be nine months after the 2006 World Cup was hosted in that country. Give us a minute while we figure out what's going on....