deadspin Page 14 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ookie, Ned, 2/1/07 And A Little Horse That Couldn't
• There was some Hall of Fame voting. • Sally Jenkins is awesome. • Thirty freaking runs. • We will never, ever wear a Texas shirt. • Hirshey was there for that madness in the Meadowlands. • His newspaper is not being nice to Stephen A. Smith. • Comcast ... CLEVER! • Get yourself a fuck lion, stat. ...

Are We Shooting People, Or What?
You mean them little cubes you put in hot water to make soup? No, not the little cubes you put in hot water to make soup....

Watch Your Hands, Lady
• One excitable cancer kid. • Barry Bonds and Alan Thicke, ice skatin'. • Seattle will say goodbye to the Sonics. • Super! • Will Demps is tired of your breasts. • Hirshey wraps up the first weekend of the EPL. Oh, and Beckham scored. • Hey, the MNF crew sounds pretty good so far. • Stoner GMs, man....

Bide Your Time And Everything Becomes Clear, And You Can Act Accordingly
You tell them, you tell them we're coming. Tell them we're fucking coming!...

Bonds Brings Us Down, But Ankiel Lifts Us Up
• All the EPL you can handle. Remember to meet Mr. Hirshey this weekend for EPL opening weekend. • Bonds hit his damn homer already. • Rick Reilly ... shirtless! • It's always fun when Irish pick up prostitutes. • Remember to join the Deadspin Pants Party College Pick 'Em Pool. • Duck! Jay Mohr's ba...

Red, It Took Us 16 Years To Get Here. You Play Us, And I'll Give Ya The Best We Got.
You're better than any player we ever had. And you're the best God damn hitter we ever saw. Suit up....

This Headline Will Not Include Barry Bonds
• Way to go, Iraq! Oh, sorry. • Pujols, Pop-A-Shot. • Gilbert is funny when he takes other people's jokes. • Quiet, Deion. • The live report from the Arena Bowl. • Pete Rose is charming. • Ow ow ow. • Pac Man Jones, rasslin'. • We're map happy! • Goodnight, ESPN. • Matt Leinart is optimistic about t...

We Like You As Much As We Can Like Anyone Who Thinks We're An Asshole
If anything happens to us, you tell every woman we've ever gone out with we were talking about her at the end. That way they'll have to reevaluate us....

It's Never Good When The MLS Has The Best Week
explains Beckham to us much better than we did to the world. • Careful of what cars you steal. • One more time: Gay Yankees. • We live blogged a guy talking into a microphone. • Stop the ESPN Motion. • Matt Leinart says he's a great dad, and even remembers his kid's name. • Our NFL Season Previews b...

Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Us
In honor of "The Simpsons Movie" coming out today, we're not even gonna try to bother with a movie quote today. Instead, we just invite everybody to give their own....

Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...

Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told us that if we didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain....

Dog Days Of All-Star Week
• What a dull week. • Not a happy time at Dan Shaughnessy's Amazon page. • Everywhere you look, there is Spike The Super Ball. • Kige Ramsey makes the world a better place. • Have a Coke and smile. • Jared Allen, signing things that aren't fun to have signed. • We hear Simmons is definitely doing an...

You Don't Go To Work Every Day; You Go To A Bar Every Day
That's why we drink it straight. The ice cubes are too heavy....

If You Were A Veggie Hot Dog, Would It Be OK To Eat Yourself?
• God, the hot dog eating championships are fun. • John Patterson, get thee to Canada. Don't tell Spencer Hawes! • 45 seconds ... starting NOW. • Cursing at Yankee Stadium? Now we've seen EVERYTHING! • Dan LeBatard would like to keep Harold Reynolds away from his women. • MJD left us, but he is not ...

Everything We Touch Is Food For Our Hunger. Our Hunger For Power.
Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error....

Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....

Goodbye, MJD, Hello, Popular Redesign
• Our redesign went over like gangbusters, totally. We are working on it, promise. • God, we hate rain. • EIU wrestltng fever: CATCH IT. • Matt Geiger, pimp. • Pirate fan walkout? What Pirate fan walkout? • Goodbye, Rod Beck. • Dice-K rocks, sort of. • David Hirshey is not handling this Thierry Henr...

The Biggest Thing In This Town Is Probably The Homecoming Queen
Sorry about the crowbar, kid. You'd be surprised how many people want to steal scrap. But, man, once we make it into art, we can't give it away. We mean, what are we? A junkman who makes art or an artist who sells junk? You tell us....

So, The First Day Went Well ...
So, day one of the redesign is behind us, and, safe to say, there are some concerns. As you surely noticed, we shared some of these concerns. Let's take a look at the major issues, and where we stand with them....