nf Page 1268 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Needling Barry, Day Two
Sorry, we can't show you any fresh anti-Bonds signs today. The Giants' game with the Padres at Petco Park was postponed; the first Padres rainout since 1998, and only the 16th in their 38-year history. Just as well, because the ESPN reality series Bonds on Bonds debuted that evening, and who wants...
Culpepper Now Free To Have Naked Women Dance In His General Vicinity (But There, And Only There)
New Dolphins quarterback Daunte Culpepper need not worry about the potential new ramifications of the term "lap dance" from jail; he has been cleared of all charges in the sex boat incident. His former teammate Moe Williams was not so lucky; he'll still have to strand trial, along with decidedly m...
It's Never The Crime, It's Always The Coverup ...
We know football season is five months off, but it may take that long to unravel this mystery. At the risk of going all CSI: Crime Scene Investigation on you, we present the photo above, sent in from a reader with the following note attached:...
Needling Barry, Day One
When we first heard that the Giants would open their season in San Diego, we were a little disappointed. Who's going to rag on Barry Bonds in San Diego? It's the most laid-back of all cities; it makes Indianapolis look like Baghdad outside of the Green Zone. But we were wrong. San Diego, you didn'...
Adventures In Advertising
He may be an unspeakable cad in most parts of our great land, but San Francisco is still doggedly clutching Barry Bonds to its bosom. Call it denial, pride, myopia, whatever; from San Francisco's point of view, Bonds may be a cheater, but damn it, he's our cheater. For proof, let's head over to th...
The Best Way To Personalize Your Plates
Spotted by a reader on the Upper West Side of Manhattan this weekend. This is not our car. Oh, but if it were....
The Best Damn... April Fools Joke.
Okay, I was had, and I am dumb A couple of readers have written in (and my thanks to them) to tell me that the "fight" between Michael Strahan and Tom Arnold on The Best Damn Sports Show was, in fact, an April Fools Joke. My congratulations to everyone involved. I didn't think those guys were capa...
Best Damn Sports Show Fight
So if you missed Friday night's episode of The Best Damn Sports Show (and how could you?), check about the above video. Tom Arnold and Michael Strahan get into kind of a little sissy chair fight. And Michael Strahan did not win. He's on the ground making noises like he's hurt, cursing at Arnold, who...
Another Great Staring-Into-The-Camera Rap
"I have one thing to tell you, T.O.: I. Hate. You. You like writing disses? I can write them right back to you."...
Your NL West "Preview"
You know what? This might sound kind of crazy, but we think it's possible that the NL West might not be any better than it was last year. The only way there's any team better than last year's Padres is if Los Steroido somehow stays healthy (and eligible) all season ... and even then we're kind of pu...
Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all....
Join Terrell Owens' Special Club
We suppose, in a roundabout way, that it makes sense for fans of Terrell Owens to be fans of Terrell Owens, and Terrell Owens only; rooting for the team that your favorite player T.O. suits up for seems kind of beside the point....
Dhani Jones Has Happy Feet That Can't Be Beat
We have been called a "chronicler of athlete misdeeds," though we think we're a little more optimistic than that; we prefer "chronicle of athlete malfeasance." Or even "athlete tomfoolery." Whichever; pick your poison....
Why Do We Consider The NFL Fun Again?
Anyone who watched the NFL last season ended up captivated by two charismatic, outsized personalities: Clinton Portis and Chad Johnson. Every week, each did something creative, original and undeniably fun; we found ourselves rooting for their on-field exploits much more than we would have otherwis...
Late Show With Game Of Shadows
If Barry Bonds' life "is in shambles," as the Giants' outfielder claimed on Monday in an interview with the Associated Press, the outlook didn't get much rosier later that evening....
You Can Help Injure Terrell Owens. Please, Give All You Can.
Howard Eskin, a sports radio host in Philadelphia, is raising money in order to pay the fine for any Philadelphia Eagle who "takes out" Terrell Owens. The guy who sent in the tip didn't give a definition for "take out," but given the nature of the Philadelphia sports fan, I have to assume that a s...
Because Of Winn-Dixie
A tipster writes in to tell us about New Orleans Saints defensive end Jimmy Verdon's weekend. Evidently, he got hammered and ended up passed out on a bench in front of a Winn-Dixie and then brawled with the cops who tried to wake him up. Police spokesman Capt. James Gallagher explains....
Barry Bonds Looking For Money From Publishing. Really
As "Game Of Shadows" hits newstands — and we even got one delivered to our apartment from the publishers, one we didn't even ask for — it appears Barry Bonds is now "fighting back," if you want to call it that. Bonds' lawyer said today that he will sue the authors of the book. How much does he wan...
How To Get Yourself Fired, In Two Seconds
Yesterday, St. Louis sports radio station KTRS fired host Dave Linehan after he used a racial slur to describe Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice. The mistake was accidental, but the station felt it had to fire him. We, uh, kind of hate racial slurs around here, but we feel obliged to repeat the ...