ow Page 1118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jerry Jones Can't Figure Out This Damn Spacebar
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your free lifetime's supply of beer ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, game 5, Boston at Cleveland. Manny is very sorry, and says he cares a great deal. [Fox] • College football: South Florida at Rutgers. The Oklahoma-Nebraska of the 21st century. [ESPN] • Col...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to decide if the suckatorium is a brothel, or another name for Fenway Park ... • Golf: PGA of America, Grand Slam of Golf, final round, at Tucker's Town, Bermuda. I'll be at the cabana bar. [TNT] • NBA: Preseason, Cleveland vs. Orlando, at Shanghai. I'll be in the pirate s...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Cindy takes out the entire Brady family with a machete while they sleep ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Alfonso Gomez vs. Ben Tackie, at Carson, Calif. I opened a can of Whoopass, but it spilled all over the linoleum. [ESPN] • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 4, Boston at...

To Watch Tonight
Forget it, nothing will wipe this from your mind ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 3, Boston at Cleveland [Fox]; National League Championship Series, Game 4, Arizona at Colorado [TBS]. Man, is Jesus going to be peeved when the Diamondbacks come back and win this thing. • NFL: N.Y....


Time Traveler Beams In For Patriots-Cowboys Presser
Absolutely bizarre question-and-answer session at the end of the Patriots-Cowboys game last night: Apparently, it's not so difficult to get a press pass in Dallas....

Watch Jerry Rice Crank It, Watch Jerry Rice Roll ...
Watch Jerry Rice crank dat Soulja Boy, then Super Man dat ho! I have to admit, I was impressed at how quickly Rice seemed to pick up the steps. Maybe that Dancing With the Stars bull-shit was worth it after all. And hey, is Patrick Ewing Jr. a certified Soulja Boy dance instructor or something? I su...


To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wonder if you're weird enough to run for mayor of San Francisco ... • College football: Hawaii at San Jose State. Another Colt Brennan performance for East Coast writers to ignore. [ESPN] • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 1, Cleveland at Boston [Fox]; National Lea...

USC Seniors Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
Chris Washington is a senior at USC with a GPA of 3.50. And even though he had several of his fraternity brothers rooting him on in the front row during the game show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? last night, he still seemed a bit confused. Below are a list of the questions that he got wrong:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy a light snack ... • College football: Florida State at Wake Forest. There aren't enough college mascots wearing top hats in my opinion. [ESPN] • MLB: National League Championship Series, Colorado at Arizona, Game 1. Wait, the NLCS plus Bon Jovi? Where have you been all my ...


To Watch Tonight
What to watch while enjoying David Lee Roth's birthday ... • College football: Navy at Pittsburgh. Ooh, Wannstedt! [ESPN] • Boxing: Evander Holyfield vs. Lou Savarese. We hope this is a repeat, because Evander's gotta fight Saturday and might be too tired if he has to go again tonight. [ESPN Classic...


To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trading hot dog recipes with Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) ... • NHL: Carolina at Toronto. Rooting for Jason Blake will not be hard at all. [Versus] • Boxing: Hasim (Chop!) Rahman vs. Taurus (Bill) Sykes, heavyweights, at Rochster, NY. Taped from previous bout. [Versus] • College fo...

Dennis Miller Explains It All ... On Versus!
So Dennis Miller has a new show, which shouldn't surprise anyone; the scraggly bearded one tends to sample the dial these days like Lasorda at a wedding buffet. But you'll be happy to note that this time he's found a classy home: Versus! Nestled between Ultimate Cage Fighting and Pheasant Hunting, g...

You Should See The Portion Of The Costume That Fell Off During Mile 3
If you like marathons, and AJ Daulerio, then feast on this! It's from the Chicago Marathon, via 100 Percent Injury Rate, who got it from some site called Avant/Chicago. The funny part is that when you go there, it's all normal, bland photos of people running, until you trip over this one....

The Bills Get The Monday Night Football Buzzsaw Treatment
Perhaps this is now going to become a yearly ritual on "Monday Night Football:" Franchise that rarely plays on Monday night shocks undefeated, heavily favorite road team and seemingly secures the win four or five times, thanks to the poor play of the young opposing quarterback. And then they lose in...