ow Page 556 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Syria Score An Especially Painful And Embarrassing Own Goal
All own goals are painful for those who score them. This one, though, scored when Syria’s keeper punched a cross straight into teammate Hamdi Al Masri’s face for the ball to ricochet back into their own net, had to hurt even worse than normal, physically as well as psychically:...

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Geno Auriemma Doesn't Think Too Much Of Dan Shaughnessy
The UConn women’s basketball team breezed into the Elite 8 by beating Mississippi St. 98-38 on Saturday, and barking carrot Dan Shaughnessy did not approve:...

3 Soccer Guys Try One-Upping Each Other With Horrible Gaffes; 2nd Guy Wins Easily
When you see why Quilmes’s Daniel Imperiale is all hunched over looking like he’s about to puke from embarrassment, you’ll understand how his display of complete ineptitude overshadowed the two blunders that sandwiched it. Who knew ten seconds was enough for three players in a row to shit themselves...

Drew Hutchison Gets Smoked By His Own Catcher
This time last year, Blue Jays pitcher Drew Hutchison was getting ready to start on Opening Day. Yesterday, he found himself making his final start of spring training, with one last chance to secure a spot in the big-league rotation. Things were going okay for about four innings, until Hutchison had...

When Running Away Before Steph Curry Shoots A Three Goes Wrong
The Warriors won last night, as they always do, bringing their record to 65-7 on the season. They need to go 8-2 to get to 73 wins, which is bonkers. We spend a lot of time lauding them, specifically for their incredibly fun habit of running away before Steph Curry’s shots go in, but last night, Kla...

Peeps Are The Worst Seasonal Candy
Easter is upon us. You know this—even if you don’t have a grandmother sending increasingly frantic texts asking what time you’ll be there for dinner on Sunday—because the commercials have all gone pastel and there are goddamn Peeps everywhere. If you don’t care about the religious significance, East...

Oh, This'll Really Reassure People That The Browns Have Turned Things Around
Robert Griffin III is a Brown. (As he was, on some level, always destined to be.) The Browns’ football people, especially head coach Hue Jackson, apparently loved what they saw from Griffin in a workout last week. A workout that was attended by shitbag owner Jimmy Haslam. We now learn, from this NFL...

This Is One Dumb Technical Foul
Refs blew it twice in one play tonight as Maryland’s Jake Layman wasn’t whistled for a double dribble on his first-half dunk against Kansas, but earned a technical foul for hanging on the rim. There’s a good reason Layman didn’t immediately let go after the straight-on two-handed dunk, and the techn...

This Dumb Keeper Is Soccer's New Trickster God
Just look at this idiot. Maritzburg United goalkeeper Glenn Verbauwhede, of the South African Premier Soccer League, has developed an incredibly crazy strategy of baiting referees into giving opponents fouls. First, he lures opposing players into his personal space, then intentionally lunges at thei...

Yoenis Cespedes Decides Ball That's <i>Right There</i> Is Unplayable, Allows Inside-The-Park Home Run
A truly amazing spring training lowlight from Mets-Astros this afternoon, as an A.J. Reed ball hit past Yoenis Cespedes stuck at the base of the wall. It didn’t wedge under anything; it wasn’t trapped, or unreachable; it wasn’t obstructed in any way that would have warranted the umpire calling dead ...

Mediocrity Has Revitalized Boxing's Heavyweight Division
Among all of the big men in boxing right now, there is one genuinely good heavyweight. And although—or, more likely, because—Luis “King Kong” Ortiz has looked impressive in his two most recent HBO fights, no recognized fellow champions seem interested in trying to pick up his WBA belt. Ranked conten...

Report: Browns Put Final Nail In RGIII's Coffin
Of all the teams involved in this offseason’s game of Mediocre Quarterback Musical Chairs, the Cleveland Browns had the most options. Of course, this only meant that the Browns had an array of sinkholes to fall into, and they seem to have finally chosen the one with Robert Griffin III at the bottom....

I Dare You To Listen To This Excruciatingly Awkward Conversation Between Mike Francesa And A Caller
Mike Francesa has given us many memorable on-air moments, but I’m not sure if he’s ever had an interaction as teeth-achingly awkward as the one he had with Eddie in Queens yesterday:...

The NFL And NFLPA's Discipline Discussions Are Going Nowhere, And The Sides Are Squabbling Publicly
In four of the most prominent disciplinary decisions of his career, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell’s chosen punishments were overturned. By Paul Tagliabue in Bountygate, a neutral arbitrator with Ray Rice, and a federal judge with Adrian Peterson and Tom Brady (currently being appealed). It is under...

This Is Just The Dumbest Way To Lose A Bike Race
An incredibly fun two-week run of Belgian cobbled classics started today with Dwars door Vlaanderen, a semi-flat but challenging warm up to the hellish Ronde van Vlaanderen. However, the race almost didn’t happen after terrorist attacks ripped through the Brussels airport yesterday. Race officials c...

Thinkfluence Man Pretends To Think Empathy Is Bad
“Against Empathy” makes a hell of a title for a video. It’s bold and spicy! Empathy is bad is quite a strong take, after all, given that empathy—broadly speaking, the capacity to relate to and share the feelings and perspectives of others—is a core, defining trait of humanity, which will tend to be ...

The Best-Selling Throwback Jerseys By State
Clothing company Mitchell & Ness, best known for its retro uniforms, has compiled the data on the top-selling throwback jerseys in every state for 2015. Your new champion, at least by number of states? Larry Bird, shoving out Kobe Bryant from last year’s top spot....

Where In The World Is Sean Miller? (Not In Pittsburgh, Sorry Guy)
In the world of scoop-driven transaction reporting, it’s OK for a reporter to be wrong. It is not ideal, of course; it’s bad for credibility. But it’s inevitable. Sometimes you’re going to get bad information, or get used by a source with an agenda, and you’re hosed. The best thing to do in that sit...

Is The Longhorn Network Killing The Big 12?
Five years into the grand experiment, and the Longhorn Network is kind of a disaster. It’s losing money hand-over-fist: reportedly $48 million since its launch, with annual losses hovering in the millions. Subscriber fees are painfully low, and ESPN is locked into this thing for another 15 years. An...