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The Passion Of Dr. Narwhals Mating
With Drew still loose in the rustic wilds of Maine—we have received credible and deeply disturbing reports of him scampering up scenic mountains and devouring crustacean-centric meals in ways that horrified bystanders—the Deadcast casts its gaze back upon past glory this week. There’s a lot of glory...

National Anthem Controversies Don't Get More Soul-Sucking Than This
Here is a story from the Alaskan hinterlands about an extremely shitty woman who tried to shame a college summer league baseball player and his team on Facebook for failing to properly respect the national anthem. That such a woman exists and would act in such a way is neither surprising nor all tha...

UFC Interim Title Belts Don't Mean Shit
Last night, the UFC announced that welterweight champion and master of winning 25-minute staring contests Tyron Woodley will defend his title belt against pluckish undefeated British lad Darren Till. While Till’s near-life-threatening weight cut is a warning sign that he really should not fight at 1...

Report: Mariners Execs Were Promoted After Complaints About Them Groping Colleagues And Watching Porn At Work
According to a report from the Seattle Times, Mariners president Kevin Mather, former president Chuck Armstrong, and former executive vice president Bob Aylward all were accused of inappropriate workplace behavior during the 2009-10 season. The women who accused the three executives all left their j...

SafeSport, The USOC's Attempt To Stop Child Abuse, Is Set Up To Fail—Just Like It Was Supposed To
As he was questioned by lawyers in 2015 over and over again about what he did and did not know about sexual abuse suffered by Olympic athletes, then-U.S. Olympic Committee lawyer Gary Johansen made a choice. No matter the question, no matter which lawyer asked it, Johansen did not say “child abuse,”...

Ultramarathon Leader Kicked Out Of Race For Drinking Illicit Water<em></em>
The 25th running of the Hardrock 100 ultramarathon took place this weekend, with 114 of the 146 runners who started the race making it the full 100.5 miles. Of the 32 who didn’t finish, 30 fell short of completing the arduous race, while two were controversially disqualified....

Papa John's Creates Poison Pill For One Special Customer: The Disgraced Papa Himself
The Papa John’s board of directors announced late last night that they would be adopting something that’s known in the business industry as a “limited duration stockholder rights plan.” This is an attempt to prevent Papa “John” Schnatter from reasserting his control over his eponymous company, which...

How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...

Wallace, The Good And Humble Mule, Defeats Fancy Dressage Horses At Their Own Game
Wallace is an 11-year-old mule who used to annoy Irish villagers by eating their flowers. After a lengthy battle over his right to compete in dressage, he is now a winner and hero to common beasts....

Masa Saito Was A Great Wrestler And Half Of Pro Wrestling's Most Famous Arrest
Masanori “Masa” Saito, known as Mr. Saito to a generation of American wrestling fans, passed away at the age of 76 last weekend following a long struggle with Parkinson’s disease. An Olympic freestyle wrestler in 1964, Saito was a legendarily hard man and among the most universally respected people ...

This Is How It Feels To Get Whacked By A Tiger Woods Golf Ball
Tiger Woods’ hopes of winning British Open championship came to end at the same time as one fan’s hopes of leaving Carnoustie without any bruises. With Tiger in sole position of the lead on the 11th hole, his second shot took a wrong turn somewhere in the sky and smacked a gallery member to the gr...

The Real Hero Of The British Open Is Eddie Pepperell, Who Played His Final Round Hungover
Francesco Molinari of Italy won The Open Championship Sunday, following up his third-round 65 with a final-round 69 to finish two shots clear of the field and capture his first career major title. He is not the hero of the tournament. Nor is Tiger Woods the hero, even after his stirring two day char...

Tiger Woods Rages Against The Dying Of The Light Or Whatever With Third-Round 66
Tiger Woods surged up the leaderboard at The Open Championship Saturday, jumping from 29th to a briefly held share of the lead with a third-round 66. While it may not be a performance worthy of the Golf Channel’s insane promo, it was nonetheless quite bitchin’, and leaves open the possibility of Tig...

Giants Co-Owner Burns Donald Trump, Says Giants Players Will Not Be Punished For Any Anthem Protests
Giants co-owner Steve Tisch told The Hollywood Reporter this week that Giants players who demonstrate against police brutality and systemic racism during pregame national anthem ceremonies will not be punished by the organization, whatever ultimately happens to the NFL’s increasingly dumb-looking an...

Dead Letters: Special All–Papa John Edition
Subject: Papa John’s...

Former UFC Fighters Hint At Some Dana White Rumors
Iron-fisted UFC boss Dana White has spent the last week feuding with former UFC heavyweight and current comedy guy Brendan Schaub. The tiff kicked off when White responded to Israel Adesanya’s Instagram video of comments that Schaub made on his Showtime show Below the Belt. White called Schaub a “M...

Which Is Scarier, Space Or The Ocean? The Great Debate
A few months ago, the Deadspin staff got into one of our dumber and more protracted debates (a true feat) about whether the ocean or space was scarier. Like every other drawn-out yelling match, it lasted for a long time and went nowhere, though this one surfaced again yesterday. Both sides refused t...

The NFL Is So Bad At This
The NFL is truly, truly incredible sometimes. I remain in awe of its ability to court terrible press, and entirely unnecessarily. Remember in May, when, under pressure from Donald Trump, the league issued a “compromise” policy on players protesting systemic inequality during the playing of the natio...

NFL Stands Down, Suspends National Anthem Policy While It Negotiates With NFLPA
In the aftermath of today’s AP report that the Miami Dolphins (and possibly other teams) would classify players’ protests during the pregame national anthem as punishable offenses, the NFL and NFL Players Association have released a joint statement saying that all rules related to its anthem policy...

Report: Dolphins List Anthem Protests As Punishable Offense
With the NFL’s convoluted national anthem policy, teams now have a guideline for how to punish players—if they chose to do so—for protesting on the field during the anthem. The Miami Dolphins have decided to keep that option open just in case they need it....