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Delonte West's Theoretical Portis Moment
We have known that Delonte West has had a "diary" on the Celtics' official site for a while, and we have heard that he has said crazy stuff on there from time to time. But today someone finally sent us an official quote from it, and it's too much not to quote exactly to you, even though someone (h...

Vote: Which Is The Best Portis Alter Ego?
For those of you who haven't been paying attention to the gradual, meticulous mental breakdown of Clinton Portis, the Redskins running back has been dressing up as a new "character" — and, Method-like, staying in character during interviews — for each media conference every Thursday. (It is to Por...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the dog takes itself for a walk ... • College Basketball: Guardians Classic, semifinals, West Virginia vs. Texas, Kentucky vs. Iowa. You just know Steve Alford could step onto the court and hit from the outside at a higher percentage than any of his players. [ESPN2] • College Basket...

Leftovers: Road Trip!
• Let's face it, Brent: you threw up on Dean Wormer. Musberger fined for beer in car. [WOWT] • Indian star clarifies sex remark after being burned in effigy. We haven't seen tennis fans worked up like this since, um, ever. [MSNBC] • Your Ray Ratto column mug update for today. [CBS Sportsline] • Mari...

Angry Man In A Funny Shirt
We know it's almost holiday time because there's an inexplicable Monday afternoon college basketball game. We're going to try to tear ourselves away from CNN's monthly let's pretend we're not rooting for a live plane crash because it would be outstanding television to watch Michigan State play Cha...

NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town
• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie." • We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the C...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as even you start to believe your own bullshit ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Chad Dawson vs. Ian Gardner; junior welterweights, Benjamin Flores vs. Daniel Jimenez, at New Haven, Conn. We're confused — prior to this we've never actually had a reason to watch Showtime. [Showtime] • ...

Leftovers: One Big Happy Family
• So how's that Knicks job working out? Marbury, Brown trade shots. [The Mighty MJD] • When Wolves Attack: Garnett rips McHale. [The Sports Frog] • PGA: Tiger, Duval battle it out in Japan. Well, as much as golfers ever truly battle. [Another Golf Website] • Steelers' Randle-El wants to play quarter...

20 Years After Theismann And LT
WSJ's The Daily Fix alerted us to anniversary that, like just about everything does anymore, succeeded in making us feel old: Today is the 20th anniversary of Lawrence Taylor's brutal hit on Joe Theismann, breaking his leg and ending his career. (The Washington Post has a fantastic story about thi...

Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. Say It With Us Now.
If it's Friday, it must be time to check in on the weird shit Clinton Portis came up with yesterday. We've documented Portis' antics extensively, and he did not disappoint yesterday with his new character: "Dollah Bill." This character's a little less inspired than "Dr. 'I Don't Know'" and "Sheri...

Blogdom's Best: Houston Texans
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...

Theo Epstein Is STOKED, Dude!
We admire Theo Epstein as much as anyone — OK, maybe a little less — but secretly we've always kind of suspected that, for all the Yale and sabremetrics and what-not, he's pretty much just a big dumb likable Boston frat guy like pretty much everybody else our age we run into while out in Boston. (...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as, outside, clowns continue to pour out of the tiny car ... • College Basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, semifinal, Wake Forest vs. Florida, at MSG. A foul? He didn't touch him! Come on! [ESPN] • College Basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, quarterfinals, Memphis at Alabama. It's...

Leftovers: ER Edition
• Doc tells McNabb to have surgery now, then writes out a prescription no one can read. [Slasher's Fantasy Report] • Doctor: Americans like lesbians, it seems. [MSNBC] • O's Todd Williams arrested after crash with a blood alcohol level that would drop a gnu. [Tampa Bay's 10] • You didn't hear it fro...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while popping greenies ... • College Basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, quarterfinals, Seton Hall at Duke,/A>. We think we have Pirate Fever — either that or the Bird Flu. [ESPN] • NBA: New York at Los Angeles Lakers. Isn't it funny how Larry Brown and Phil Jackson were once great coaches...

Leftovers: Super Terrific Happy Hour Edition
• Ichiro blasts Mariners teammates, but bows politely afterwards. [The Sports Fan] • Matsui signs with Yankees, leaves in a Brinks truck. [The Sporting Brews] • Bill Romanowski speaks to Football Outsiders writer, avoids temptation to beat him somehow. [Fox Sports] • Dodgers, Colletti marry in priva...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your MP3 player finally takes matters into its own hands and deletes all those Kelly Clarkson songs ... • College Basketball: NIT Season Tip-Off, first round, New Mexico State at UCLA. Janou Rubin begins his sixth season with the Bruins, just one behind John Belushi's record of seve...

Tommy Lasorda's World Still Quiet, Full Of Penne
The Los Angeles Dodgers are very close to hiring a new general manager, the team leaning toward current assistant GM Kim Ng or assistant San Francisco Giants GM Ned Colletti to succeed Paul DePodesta, according to the Los Angeles Times. Of course, in the latest post over on his blog at MLB Blogs....

Leftovers: Kudos, Redbird
• Cardinals' Pujols wins NL MVP, denying Jeff Keppinger once again. [Viva El Birdos] • Look, it's the Bill James of the NBA. Kind of. Nice seats, buddy. [Wired] • Uh, Mr. Williams, we like where your head's at, but that league didn't really exist. Sorry. [Some Fine Fellows] • Finally, a way to defen...

New Steroid Agreement Reached
Well, we didn't have the scoop this time, but our main man Jon Heyman did: Major League Baseball and the players union have reached an agreement on a new steroid penalty policy. The details: 50 games for a first offense, 100 games for a second offense and a lifetime ban for the third offense. Thos...