w Page 3671 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
When Baseball's Most Famous Druggie Tried To Save The Yankees' Addict
This story appeared in the April 8, 1990 edition of The National Sports Daily. It is reprinted here with the author’s permission....
This Butt's Name Is Patrick
Hmmm, you might want to consider catching this butt’s name before you jam your hand up inside of it. It’s Patrick, by the way, and next time, the least you can do is, I dunno, take the ass out for a slice or something....
Chris Connelly Named Interim Editor-In-Chief Of Grantland
ESPN has just announced that Chris Connelly will take over as the editor-in-chief of Grantland, on an interim basis. ...
How To Buy In Bulk
When my wife and I moved from a 600-square-foot apartment into our 1,000-square-foot house (with garage!), I was particularly excited about a few things: 1) having my very own washer and dryer, and being able to leave shit in them as long as I damn well pleased; 2) being able to more easily justify ...
IRS Goober Hits FIFA With A Tasty Burn
There were a lot of important things to discuss at today’s Department of Justice press conference about the corruption charges being brought against FIFA, but let’s worry about that stuff later. For now, we can focus on this dude from the IRS, who stepped up to the podium and unleashed hell:...
The Rangers Finally Found A Scoring Line
For the first half of this series, it was all about the Lightning’s “Triplets” line. Last night, as Ben Bishop was chased and Henrik Lundqvist withstood a barrage long enough to ensure this series would go seven, it was the Rangers’ turn to ice a line that was categorically dominant....
Bryce Harper Mad He Flied Out, Actually Hits Home Run
Bryce Harper is on such a tear right now—with a .467 on-base percentage and .734 slugging percentage—that the Nationals outfielder’s flyouts turn into home runs, like the one he hit Tuesday night against the Cubs. Or, maybe Harper was angry that he didn’t hit the ball farther. He’s just always at fu...
Derick Brassard Scores Hat Trick As Rangers Force Game 7
Derick Brassard made sure that the Rangers’ season didn’t end tonight. He scored three and assisted two of New York’s seven goals, as they blew out the Lightning 7-3 to force a Game 7, which will be played Friday at Madison Square Garden....
Those Who Cannot Be Taylor Swift, Talk Trash About Taylor Swift
Dan Bejar is the sort of fussy, opaque, perpetually dissatisfied art-rocker type who’d delight in the fact that it’ll probably take me two paragraphs to explain him to you to anyone’s satisfaction. He hails from Vancouver and looks like the insouciant, chain-smoking, Sartre-quoting philosopher geniu...
Colin Kaepernick Unwisely Compares Self To Houston Floods
Colin Kaepernick’s hashtag of choice is #7tormsComing, which is a horrible sentence to write. The 49ers QB decided to use it again today with the Houston flash floods as a news peg, along with a photo of some local devastation. The message wasn’t only insensitive to the alphabet....
And Now, Our Readers' Worst Food Mishaps
Last week, we asked you to tell us your worst food foibles. We heard a lot of instances of people eating sour cream when they were expecting whipped cream, salt in lieu of sugar, and of course, brie instead of pie. Traumatic plot twist! What follows are far and away the worst stories of food-based m...
The Phillies' GM Is Sick Of All These Fans Who Just "Bitch And Complain"
Phillies GM Ruben Amaro has constructed a team that has put together back-to-back 73-win seasons, and with the club’s current record sitting at 19-28, it doesn’t look like things are going to get better this year. And yet, Amaro would really like for all those disillusioned Phillies fans out there t...
Magic Hat #9 Is Well Past Its Prime
Some people like to show off. This is a boring and undisputed part of the human condition, that we have to share the planet with ostentatiously effective people who are into things like sit-ups and graduate school. Oooh, look at me, I can make weird extra muscles pop out of my stomach! Hey, check ou...
Storytime With Vin Scully: Jonny Gomes Vs. A Wolf
Please enjoy this video from yesterday’s Braves-Dodgers game: Vin Scully, the official narrator of summer, tells the tale of the time a young Jonny Gomes saw his life flash before his eyes when he was tackled by a wolf. I don’t want to ruin the ending, but the wolf did not eat Jonny Gomes....
With Just One Retweet, You'll Help A Pathetic Team Give Something Away
The Mets have approximately 356,000 followers on Twitter. Today, they asked 5,000 accounts—who, according to the fine print, must follow them—to retweet their tweet in order for them to give away an autographed Bartolo Colon jersey....
The Warriors Had No Idea If Steph Curry Had A Concussion Last Night
Steph called it the scariest fall of his career. “You’re in the air for a long time,” he said after the game, “not knowing how you’re going to hit the floor, knowing that it’s inevitable.” Curry’s taken harder hits—and come away with worse symptoms—but that second-and-a-half or so of unexpected flig...
Dwight Howard Hung Out With Stranded Rockets Fans
Historic flooding struck the Houston area last night, with many roads becoming impassable and downright dangerous. As the Rockets closed out their Game 4 win around 11 p.m. local time, Toyota Center officials urged fans to remain in the arena for their own safety....
Gronk Visits Charleston, Stuffs Face Into Girl's Chest
Beer golem Rob Gronkowski went to Charleston, S.C. for Memorial Day weekend, and from the looks of it, the summer of Gronk is making up for all that time spent on deflated balls....
The NFL's Useful Idiots Are At It Again
Now that the Chicago Bears have released defensive end Ray McDonald—who was previously investigated for sexual assault and yesterday was arrested on charges of domestic violence for the second time in a year—a chorus of NFL media stooges have begun squawking for someone to do something about all of ...
Ducks-Blackhawks Makes No Sense And It's Exhilarating
Waking up the next morning, it’s still kind of hard to believe the Ducks won that game. After choking away a three-goal lead amassed before the Blackhawks registered their first shot, and after conceding two goals to Jonathan Toews in the game’s final 1:50, Chicago completing the comeback felt like ...