whimsy Page 9 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jim Tomsula Says To Put Salt In Your Cheap Beer And Change Your Life
Washington defensive line coach and former 49ers head coach Jim Tomsula has some interesting advice for perking up that Pabst Blue Ribbon you’ve foolishly chosen for your beverage. Throw a pinch of salt into that fucker!...
Man Who Looks Nothing Like Troy Polamalu Infiltrates Steelers Practice In Polamalu Costume
An extremely bold and daring Steelers fan showed up to the team’s Saturday open practice in a Troy Polamalu jersey and helmet, and managed to get onto the field before several Steelers players noticed that Polamalu is a 37-year-old man who hasn’t played football for the Steelers or anyone else in mo...
Savvy Sports And Media Knower: Why Is It So Hard For Me To Operate A Remote Control?
Bill Simmons, a man who runs a website renowned for its sports knowing and, more and more, its television and movie knowing, is having a hard time finding sports programming on obscure channels like, umm, TNT:...
![Everson Griffen And His Wife Feeling Happy And Blessed! At The 9/11 Memorial. [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/xw1qf5wywtgqwy7rbyoh.jpg)
Everson Griffen And His Wife Feeling Happy And Blessed! At The 9/11 Memorial. [Update]
Minnesota Vikings defensive end Everson Griffen and his wife were in New York City recently, and it looks like they spent some time seeing the sights:...
Carloz Gomez Has More Fun Than Anyone
Carlos Gomez is having a rotten season, overall. He’s batting just .220, and his OPS sits at the always alarming .666 mark. The batting average is the worst of his career; the OPS is his lowest mark since 2010. But he does lead the majors in one useful statistic: Gomez and Brandon Nimmo have each be...
Here Is A Legally Blind 96-Year-Old Great-Grandmother Who Would Kick Your Ass At Bowling
Kathryn Robinson will turn 97 years old next week. Also, according to this delightful Palm Beach Post report, she “lost all sight in one eye and most in the other,” making her legally blind. But that does not stop her from being a tremendous bowler:...
And Now, James Franklin's Dark Purple Butt
Penn State head coach James Franklin spoke at Penn State Media Day about, among other things, the experience of taking all his players paintballing for a recent team outing. This may not have been a great idea for a person whose job it is to push these competitive young men to endure exhaustion and ...
Fancy Dog Tom Brady Is Having A Great Doggy Birthday
It’s Tom Brady’s birthday! There are likely people in his life who are struggling to think of a what sort of birthday present is suitable for a fancy dog entering his 19th NFL season, but those closest to him know that all Brady wants is to feel the warmth of interspecies fellowship:...
Massachusetts Accidentally Bans, Hastily Unbans Horse Racing In One Week
Horse racing was made illegal in Massachusetts this week, when the state law making it permissible was unintentionally allowed to expire at the end of a chaotic formal session, on July 31. The effect of this expiration was a ban on live and simulcast horse racing, across the state, starting August 1...
Rangers Pitcher Jake Diekman Got Traded And Only Needed A Cart Ride To His New Team
Relief pitcher Jake Diekman got traded from the Rangers to the Diamondbacks at the deadline, and the timing could not have been better. Thanks to the miracle of interleague play, the D-backs were halfway through a home series with Texas when they traded for Diekman, so all that the reliever had to d...
Rookie Patriots Lineman Catches Punt, Wins Nights Off
If you ever had any illusions about how easy it would be for you to catch a punt, please watch Patriots rookie lineman Isaiah Wynn, a large man but an athlete nonetheless, struggle to bring one in at the end of a team practice:...
Ignore The Haters, Wearing A Bucket On Your Head At A Baseball Game Can Save Your Life
Picture yourself at a mid-summer baseball game. You’ve had a few cold ones. You’ve polished off the bucket of 24 slimy buffalo wings that you spent $84 on. You’re honestly starting to get a little bored. I’m gonna put this damn bucket on my head, you think. That will spice things up....
The Cheesemonger Invitational Is Where Cheese Becomes A Sport<em></em><em></em>
The public-facing component of The Cheesemonger Invitational is a dairy bacchanalia where ticket-buying attendees can consume their weight in unlimited cheese. But behind the scenes at the bright, industrial space on the Brooklyn waterfront, the pros have come to compete. ...
Gleyber Torres's Video Isn't The Best Way To Watch Aaron Judge's All-Star Game HR, But It Is The Funniest
Gleyber Torres thought he was taking horizontal video of his teammate Aaron Judge’s dinger in last night’s All-Star Game. He was not. Good effort, though....
Let Us Congratulate Vladimir Putin For Victoriously Claiming The One Available Umbrella During World Cup Medal Ceremonies
I can’t quite describe why I find this image so funny, but here it is: Vladimir Putin, grinning in the handshake line at the World Cup medal ceremony, with like the one umbrella anywhere in sight being held over his head dutifully by an attendant, while all around him are drenched in pouring rain:...
Wednesday Night Blowouts Produce A Bonanza Of Position Players Taking The Mound
These are truly the dog days of summer. Baseball has slipped into that surreal midseason phase where absolutely nothing seems to matter at any given moment, and the reason to watch is to doze off to the hypnotic lull of half innings breezing by uneventfully. We have hit the part of the year where ev...
Papa John Made Some People Mad After Allegedly Using The N-Word On A Conference Call
According to a report from Forbes, the owner of the Papa John’s pizza empire, John Schnatter, rankled a group of marketing executives when he used the n-word during a May conference call....
Man, That's Not How It Works
One of the coolest and rarest things you can experience as a baseball fan is having a foul ball or home run land right in your beer. The reason it’s so cool is because it presents the opportunity to chug the beer with the ball still in the cup while everyone around you hoots and hollers. It’s fun to...
Heroic Gymnasts Continue Routine In Absolute Darkness During Sudden Power Outage
You often hear athletes talk about how they practice so much, they could perform under any conditions—in the cold, in the heat, in the rain, in their sleep....
Excellent Baseball Man Decorates Hat With Live Bird
Yesterday Jesus Cruz of the Peoria Chiefs was strolling to the dugout after a successful start when he was met—attacked?—by a small bird. Unflustered, Cruz made the most of the moment, by capturing the little fellow and turning him into a brief but bold fashion statement:...