Soccer Page 492 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Won't Have What She's Having
We forget sometimes that, as fledgling as some leagues in the United States are, there are even more desperate-for-publicity soccer leagues over in England. The league being "promoted" here in this slightly NSFW video is The NPL, which, according to Soccernista, is "six steps below the Premiership."...
If You Can't Handle Eight Soccer Players, You Probably Shouldn't Run On The Pitch
If Hirshey had been on duty this week, he might have gotten into this, but for now, we'll just go with That's On Point's report on a fan rushing on the field to punch a Chelsea player during a Chelsea-Totteham soccer match this week. The fan makes it out for the fight, but, as you can tell from the ...
They Should Let This Guy Kick The Ball More Often
That's Tottenham goalie Paul Robinson, wondering why it's so damn hard for anyone else to score a goal. He buried this one from 75 yards out against Ben Foster, who I believe had a bit of a smile on his face there before turning around and fishing the ball out of his own goal....
Today in the Premiership...
• Manchester United 4-1 Bolton. Cristiano Ronaldo is as magnificent as he is handsome. He spent the day carving up the Bolton defense, setting up goals for Wayne Rooney (who had 2), and Ji-Sung Park (who also had 2). It was a dominating performance, but it didn't come without a price. Gary Neville s...
Hirshey: Going Crazy Over Arsenal (In A Bad Way)
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Some Of Them Don't Even Look All That Happy
You may hate soccer ... I know this. Still, I promise that these will be six enjoyable minutes internet minutes....
Soon To Be A Major Motion Picture Starring Rob Schneider And David Spade
Well, some elementary school or junior high was lucky enough to land Jesus as its soccer coach, although by the looks of this handsome mural, He has his work cut out for him. Ah well, the first day of practice is usually a feeling-out process for everyone, we're told. We'd also like to thank young D...
Run, Futboler, Run!
We're probably stepping on Mr. Hirshey's toes here, but this above, from yesterday's Champions League game between Inter Milan and Valencia, has all the elements of a great soccer fight. Everyone's just grabbing each other, lightly tapping and hugging, really, until one guy comes in and punches a gu...
This Was Probably Inevitable, When You Think About It
You know, it's kind of amazing to us that nobody brought up this possibility: David Beckham yesterday suffered a possibly serious knee injury....
He Should At Least Be Proud Of His Defense
What better way to spend a weekend than getting some cheap laughs at the expense of a child? The Postmen dug up this YouTube clip of an unlucky youngster who had a very rough few seconds. The second bounce that him in the face... that was just unnecessary, God....
Today In The Premiership...
• Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United. They were playing with then men. Liverpool was controlling most of the play. Things were looking up for Chelsea, who desperately needed Manchester United to stumble... but two minutes into injury time, Cristiano Ronaldo set up for a free kick, it deflected off goal...
Don't Take This Personally, Coach, But ... THWACK!
So often fans throw projectiles — until it's in the air, it's just an object; it's not until it's thrown that it becomes a projectile — from the stands and don't even come close to a reasonable distance from their target. But last night, in a soccer game in Spain, one careening bottle at last found ...
... And Italy Is Awarded Another Penalty Kick
When even French TV announcers are laughing at your attempts to take a dive, perhaps it's time to just consider playing straight up. Even Barry Bonds is looking at this and saying "That's cheating, dude."...
With An Assist From God
The Vatican soccer tournament is underway, in which Priests and seminarians from 16 teams from Catholic insitutes in Rome battle for holy supremacy. Hmm, would Jesus take a dive? What would be His philosophy on swapping his wing men? The scriptures are not clear. But we know one thing: Not only will...
Hirshey: Too Much Drogba
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Today In The Premiership...
• Fulham 1-2 Manchester United. They exchanged first half goals, Ryan Giggs in 29th minute for United, and Brian McBride in the 17th for Fulham (America, fuck yeah), and played the next 58 minutes at a 1-1 tie. But in the 88th minute, Cristiano Ronaldo felt very pretty and scored her 15th goal of th...
That's How You Celebrate A Goal
Another reason to tentatively, cautiously warm up to soccer: When one of its players beats up a teammate with a golf club for refusing to join him in karaoke, he's not beneath celebrating a goal the next week by swinging an air golf club feverishly. This is like, say, Pacman Jones celebrating a touc...
Hey, Ronaldinho, Why The Long Face?
This is pretty much what you think it is: A "full-size" sculpture of Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho ... as a regal white horse. It's currently up for bid on eBay, and the price is right too: Only $25,000! (With $2,500 more to ship.)...
Karaoke Does Not Bring Liverpool Teammates Together
According to this story (swiped from The Sports Frog), John Arne Riise and Craig Bellamy, teammates at Liverpool, were out with a bunch of teammates last night, having fun at a karaoke bar. Reese's agent, Jan Kvalheim, says the story went a little bit like this:...