Christmas Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Things To Learn Because Your Fantasy Football Team Flamed Out
Your fantasy team is dead. That one guy—the one you don’t like—has everything on lock. On the one hand, that’s too bad for you and for your friends, who are in your league and whose teams are also dead; on the other hand, it presents you and your friends with the opportunity to take up new interests...
How The NFL's Christmas Albums Crashed And Burned
In 1970, before the NFL was the marketing juggernaut it is today, a random ad man could swoop in and round up 26 teams to record 26 albums of Christmas carols. He thought it would make him rich. He ended up forced to unload a warehouse full of unsold records for scrap vinyl....
A Good Christmas Song
This is very stupid, but I like it....
The Prison Forger's Christmas Miracle
I learned to love Christmas and see the good in all mankind on Christmas Eve 2006, which I spent in Greenhaven, a maximum-security prison in New York State. Two years of heroin addiction culminating in five convictions for armed robbery had brought me there, and it was already my fourth holiday se...
How To Make Eggnog, The Festive Holiday Booze-Shake
In the abstract, the notion that some people don't want to drink eggnog makes sense: diabetics, say, or the lactose-intolerant or egg-allergic, or those principled self-denying oddballs who prefer not to replace their entire body mass gradually with dietary fat and cholesterol until they resemble ...
Grizzlies Buy Car For Assistant Who Had His Stolen
Here's a cool thing that will make you feel less bad about everything. ...
Get Your Christmas Crap The Fuck Out Of This Bear's Face, Please
It's almost Christmas, and you're in the holiday spirit, so it's understandable that you want to go around decking the halls and whatnot. But please try to remember that bears don't care about Christmas, because bears are not vapid and materialistic creatures, so don't go putting your plush Santa in...
Frank Caliendo Does "The Night Before Christmas" As 10 Different ESPNers
Frank Caliendo was on that radio show with the two guys with the same name this morning, and he busted out many of his ESPN impressions to read "The Night Before Christmas." At this point, his voices are so good, you'd think he locked up all these personalities in his basement as part of an elabor...
Gifts From "The 12 Days Of Christmas," Ranked
12. Eleven pipers piping....
How The NFL's Forgotten Christmas Albums Almost Made One Man Rich
For the entirety of my childhood, my brother, mom, and I spent one day a year—usually a Saturday two or three weeks out from Christmas—being serenaded by the 1970 Oakland Raiders. Specifically, we would spend the day putting up our Christmas tree while Daryle Lamonica, Jim Otto, and others mooed C...
Isolated, Unedited Vocals Of Mariah Carey's Awful Holiday Performance
Remember when Mariah Carey could sing? Most millennials probably can't. "All I Want For Christmas Is You," she sings, but we'd suggest adding "a new voice" to her letter for Santa. Only Rep. Peter King could vocalize something more tone-deaf in New York today....
The NFL Shop Ruined A Lot Of Christmases
We received an email from a reader looking to vent. They purchased a jersey from NFLShop.com on Dec. 6 as an intended present, since the site promised—in large, bolded text—that it would arrive before Christmas. It still hasn't shown up. If that was an anomaly, it'd be understandable, even excusable...
Dad Gets Bears-Fan Daughter A Packers Jersey For Christmas
Man, parents can be real assholes sometimes. ...
This Little Soccer Fan Is Not Happy With Her Parents' Prank Gift
Oh man. These Portuguese parents, who trolled their Benfica-supporting daughter by giving her a shirt from rival team Porto, will think twice before crossing their kid again. That ice grill she hits them with is something fierce....
"Dad Gets College Football Tickets For Christmas" Video Has A Twist
So, videos of college football fans getting tickets for Christmas are popping up all over, as they do every holiday season, but this one stands out for the elaborate scheme. It's on par with the final minutes of a soap opera....
Dogs And Cats Love Wrapping Paper So Damn Much
As Christmas presents are opened, pets receive the unintentional gift of mounds of wrapping paper left on the floor. Many dogs and cats fucking adore wrapping paper. They'll tear it apart, run through it, or just sit on it, for some weird reason. This is definitely not sports-related....
NBA's Christmas Uniforms Are Ugly As Sin
Last month, we saw the leaked NBA uniforms for Christmas Day—with sleeves? Sleeves?—and thought, hey, maybe they just seem bad because no one's actually wearing them. Perhaps they'll look better in action, on actual players. Nah. They look like generic unis for a movie set in the future designed to ...
D.C. Santa Claus Shot With Pellet Gun In Front Of TV Crew
Here's some horrible footage from Washington, D.C. station WJLA. The ABC affiliate was covering a toy giveaway in the southeast side of the city when somebody shot Santa Claus in the back. ...