England Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What In The Damn Hell Happened To England?
Immediately after England scored in the fifth minute of today’s World Cup semifinal, it seemed like they’d cruise to a comfortable win over a clearly exhausted Croatia side that was running on fumes....
England Coming Home, Won't Bring Football With Them
The bracket was on their side, the memes were on their side, and even the sport, a creation of their very own, appeared to be in favor of the Brits. Unfortunately for them, football won’t be coming home, because Croatia beat England in their World Cup semifinal today by a score of 2-1....
Kieran Trippier's Absolute Banger Brings It One Step Closer To Home
Is it coming home or what? It only took five minutes for Kieran Trippier to do his thing and put England up 1-0 with a gorgeous curling free kick from just outside the box....
Gather Your Mates And Have A Laugh At England's "It's Coming Home" World Cup Meme
England are in the World Cup semifinals, and all the lads know one thing to be true: It’s coming home....
Terrible News: England Defeat Sweden To Advance To World Cup Semifinal
In a truly unfortunate turn of events, England’s World Cup run can no longer go down as anything other than a tremendous success after the terrible lads triumphed over Sweden Saturday, 2-0. We are left to take inadequate consolation from the fact that under no circumstances can both England and Russ...
England Miraculously Avoid Pulling An England By Beating Colombia In Penalty Shootout
Coming into the knockout rounds, everything was lined up perfectly for England to make their deepest World Cup run in generations. Naturally, this set a countervailing force in motion, one that would see England do what they always do and choke in hilariously heartbreaking fashion. During today’s En...
England Score Big Win By Losing To Belgium
In today’s crucial group stage match between England and Belgium, the Brits narrowly managed to come out on top by coming out on bottom of a hard-fought 1-0 loss. With this phenomenal loss, England won entry to the much weaker side of the knockout round bracket, and now have a clear lane to the Worl...
Both England And Belgium Have Every Reason To Lose Tomorrow
England and Belgium will meet tomorrow at Kaliningrad Stadium in a match that will decide which team will win Group G. Both teams have scored eight goals and conceded two in a matched pair of blowout wins against Panama and Tunisia. This means that if they draw tomorrow, they will have identical goa...
Panama Got Their Asses Kicked And Still Won
Expectations are everything at the World Cup. A narrow loss in the Round of 16 might be a generationally humiliating result for one team while being a heroic feat of determination and resolve for another, with the lines between the two being drawn based on what was expected from each team coming int...
An Extremely Stupid Tiebreaker Will Be Used If England Draws With Belgium
England pulled level with group rivals Belgium after their lopsided win against Panama this morning, giving each national side six points going into their final group stage game against each other. Not only do Belgium and England have the same amount of points, though, but they also have exactly eig...
England Played Great And Actually Have The Goals To Prove It This Time<em></em>
Despite creating loads of chances in their first game against Tunisia, England had to rely on an epic stoppage-time winner from Harry Kane to get all three points. There was no such drama necessary in the Three Lions’ match against Panama on Sunday, however, as the English were actually able to fini...
England Accidentally Reveal Starting XI, Blame Media
During an open training session yesterday, England assistant coach Steve Holland was photographed holding notes that appeared to reveal the starting lineup for Sunday’s match against Panama. England don’t want Panama to know this! They don’t want anyone to see those notes. So here they are:...
Here Are Some Old Englishmen Doing An Anti-Semitic Soccer Chant And Saluting Hitler
According to The Telegraph and journalist Bryan MacDonald, these English fans went to a pub in Stalingrad after Monday’s England-Tunisia World Cup match and celebrated England’s win by doing anti-Semitic chants....
Harry Kane Saves England With Dramatic 91st-Minute Winner
The first 90 minutes of England’s World Cup opener played out how many fans feared they would. Harry Kane easily found the back of the net in the first 11 minutes after a powerful John Stones header was batted right onto his feet, but England were brought back to Earth quickly. In the 34th minute, K...
The Campaign To Make England Great Again Is Well Underway<em></em>
For years now, there hasn’t been much to do but laugh at England’s performances on the world stage. The so-called Golden Generation won nothing, and the 2014 World Cup team didn’t even make it out of their group. England did manage to make it to the Round of 16 in the 2016 Euros, but ended up gettin...
The People Fell Down The Hill Chasing The Cheese Again
The English county of Gloucestershire held its annual cheese rolling race Monday, and a bunch of people, whose bones were hopefully fortified by consuming the daily recommended amount of calcium, tumbled down a steep hill as they tried to chase that Gloucester cheese wheel we all know and love....
I Would Die For These Pigs That Look Like Sheep
A Palatine of Hungary crosses some boars and sows in some Austro-Hungarian barn. He creates a new breed of swine, the Mangalica pig. Upon seeing the result of his meddling with nature, the palatine claps his hands in delight—probably....
Manchester City Arrives For Champions League Match In Post-Apocalyptic Liverpool
Manchester City had a crazy bus ride into Anfield today ahead of their Champions League match against Liverpool, as the soon-to-be English champions were greeted by passionate home supporters who happened also to be armed with projectiles and flares. Alternately, if you don’t know the context, the ...
This Is Why You Play To The Whistle
The following video, which depicts Macclesfield’s game-winning stoppage time goal against Woking, is an object lesson on why you must always be alert and focused for literally every second of every game, even when an outcome seems guaranteed, especially when playing on a bog of a pitch in rain-soake...