whimsy Page 100 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Mike Cooper Avoids Jail Time; Prison Showers
The sentence has come down, once again, courtesy of our man Jimbo. Mike Cooper, he of library-masturbating fame, was found guilty, and was fined $150 plus court costs. That's it. Bail was $500,000, and the fine is $150. All is well that ends well, I suppose. Who among us hasn't paid $150 for an or...
The Mike Cooper Sentencing ... You Are There!
Well, the Mike Cooper sentencing is over, and our man Jimbo was, indeed, there. We're still not sure precisely what Cooper's sentence was — Jimbo didn't make it that far into the proceedings — but he was there, and he even captured Cooper and his parents on his camera phone ... kind of....
It's Judgment Day For Mike Cooper
Today, friends, could be the final chapter in The Most Amazing Story Of Our Time: Mike Cooper himself is due to be sentenced today, at 1:30 p.m. ET, in Berea Municipal Court....
Summer Reading
Aside from being a full-time Vladimir Putin lookalike, ESPN executive vice predsident of content John Skipper likes to read. Or so claims SportsBusiness Journal, which quizzed a dozen or so sports executives and CEO types on what books they would be taking with them on summer vacation. Skipper cho...
The Diligent Fact-Checking Of Sports Radio
Dan Serafini was a journeyman pitcher in the late '90s, not doing much to distinguish himself, save for maybe being traded for Brandon Pernell. (Note: Brandon Pernell is no one of note.) But a Cubs fan looking to muse on all matters bloggish decided to name his site Serafini Says, because he used ...
Introducing The Mark Trail Drinking Game
This is borderline off topic, but it involves drinking, and hunting, and a talking bear; kind of what we imagine a weekend with Ted Nugent would be like. Did we mention drinking? OK. We now present the Mark Trail Drinking Game. Take a look at this, and see if you're not laughing your hinder off by...
The Baseball Slasher Flick
We love movie taglines: Our personal favorite is for the Steven Seagal/DMX actioner Exit Wounds: "Hurts goin' in ... hurts goin' out." But it's also tough to beat the tagline for this 2000 horror flick The Catcher: "Three strikes ... you're dead."...
Chicago Bulls Mascots, Just One Step Ahead Of The Law
You're probably tired of hearing about NBA mascots attacking the police while driving mini-motorcycles at outdoor festivals — we know we are — but this one has a slight twist. The mascot, Benny the Bull of the Chicago Bulls, threw a punch at a sheriff's deputy, knocking off his glasses. The best p...
Hopeless Geeks Superman Fans Assemble!
In honor of Superman Returns, which opens on Wednesday and is rumored to be pretty good, we pose the question: How is it ruled when a ball is driven underground? (We suspect that this has happened once or twice to Royals' pitchers already this season). If no one can dig it out in time, is it a hom...
No One Will Ever Know Your Dirty Knicks Secret
Let's say you want to check the Knicks score* on your Trio, but the darned glare won't let you see the screen. Or perhaps you're watching PTI on your Watchman, and you just want a little privacy, dammit. Inspired by the wildly popular Burka, it's the Tech Addict Scarf! Yes, finally your prayers ha...
England Gets An Opposable Thumbs Up
World Cup fever is everywhere; and no, zoo critters are not immune. England takes on Ecuador on Sunday in Round Two, a fact that has not been lost on local monkeys. But we're not sure if British fans should feel a well of pride at viewing this photo, or be embarrassed. Metaphors abound in all direct...
The Deal With The TRL Thing
Back when we announced the sale of the "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirts, we promised a free post for whichever reader was able to feature the shirt on national television. But we — obviously — never dreamed it would be the host of TRL....
Good Morning, Socceroos
For those of you who have been searching for an alternative to "Mike & Mike in the Morning," and don't mind detailed analysis of pelvic thrusting, there's this: Dribble with Roy and H.G., a World Cup soccer studio show out of Germany, with Australian hosts. (So right away you know it's good.)...
The Secret Way To Handicap The World Cup
So as you might have noticed, we've been doing some fun photo montages to preview the World Cup live blogs. And we always run a photo of a couple of fans. Or, as one friend put it, "I am enjoying this trend whereupon 2 countries playing each other are contrasted with a 'hot chick' and a 'doofus.'"...
Good, Old-Fashioned Recreational Drugs
Since the talk of steroids and HGH can be so tiring, I thought it might be fun to get back to the basics... you know, marijuana, LSD, cocaine, that sort of thing. It's not brand new, and I believe it originally appeared in a special sports issue of a magazine called Frank 151, but if you haven't see...
Boom Goes A Young Man's Dignity
If you've ever wondered what happened to the people who star in those internet videos that make you laugh, the answer appears to be, well, nothing good. Brian Collins, he of "Boom Goes The Dynamite" fame, talks about his experience here....
Of Shmoos And Men
Something's been bothering us about the World Cup. We've had a nagging feeling that something was vaguely familiar, but we couldn't quite put our finger on it. No, it wasn't the rampant groping. It had to be ... the ball. Yes, it suddenly occured to us that the new soccer ball that FIFA threw into...
Jamie Farr And Minor League Baseball: The Perfect Mix
Longtime readers know of our fascination with minor league baseball promotions, and here's one of our favorites: The Altoona Curve are hosting a Retro Celebrity Series, in which TV stars from the distant haunt the aisles of the Blair County Ballpark....
Get Away From Carl Monday, Voyeurs!
Well, if you're not quote ready to let go of Carl Monday's investigative brilliance, it appears Carl Monday himself is. On his "blog" over the weekend, Carl cordially requested we let the library report go. He says "response to the reports has practically short-circuited our blog" and blames the upr...
Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em
When we first saw this, we thought it was an Onion headline. But no, it's for real; Fifa Urges Mexico Coach To Try Nicotine Patch. Ha. Evidently FIFA is a bit miffed that Mexico coach Ricardo Lavolpe lit up a couple of Camels on the sideline during Mexico's 3-1 win over Iran in the World Cup. That's...